on my mind, my therapy

[72_Chev_Truck]

I am at the point this evening when I can't focus on anything but the fact that I don't have anyone. It is so easy for me to fall into this sad mood when I have no one around me to talk to. or at least anyone I want to talk to. It is so easy for people to say things like: "it will happen for you someday" or "God will provide you with the girl of your dreams." or all the other things that people say to make you feel better. All these things do is make me think more about finding a wife or a girlfriend. How do these things help me in my saddened state of mind besides making me look harder at which door I want to open for myself. They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window.... I caught myself using this one the other day when I could have been showing more love and compassion for the person and just listening. I think my bible study on the book of Job is leading me to things much deeper relating to some extent to relationships. All the things Job's friends say don't help him but just accuse him. I think that there is a lot to be said for a person who remains silent and is willing to listen and not offer advice unless asked....... So God holds the keys to the doors but yet I still worry that I will have no one to love. How many times must I ask God to take away these worries and to help me to trust him more. He has done amazing things for me when I've put my trust in him. Just recently (back in november 04) I put my full trust in him about leaving behind an addiction that I couldnt leave myself and let me tell you, that repentance of that sin, the freedom I feel is amazing but yet I dont feel I can trust him to show me that one girl. Maybe im not connected close enough yet to God to hear his whispers to me, or maybe I am and I choose to go another direction. I wonder if this comes from my past experiences with women and the deep emotional scars that some of these relationships caused. Am I blaming God for these things? I'd like to think im not and that I caused myself this pain by not following his will for my life. When you dont know him how are you supposed to follow right? well I've only known him now for 3 years, a relatively short time compared to the rest of my life and amazing transformations have taken place but it still comes down to faith and trust. All those closed doors with hundreds of locks, some of which at times I could find the keys and reopen the doors of my heart regardless of the possible consequences.

 

[Derwhat]

I used to feel the same way, dude. I'm 23 as well, btw. I have just kinda forgotten about it. It would be wonderful to meet someone, be involved with someone, but I just don't sweat it anymore. If it happens happens; if it doesn't...well.

 

[mbotz72]

I find myself in a constant struggle with this. I will be fine for a while/few weeks and then I fall back and just want so bad for someone to love me, to hug me, or someone who wants to come over and talk everynight. Honestly, sometimes it sucks because these are the times I question God and His will. Why can't I just sit back and trust Him more than I do- it is so hard. I know that God is faithful and there is no way that I could doubt this after all He has blessed me with. I have noticed myself being tempted a lot lately- with lustful thoughts, relationships that would feel 'good' so I would have someone, pure physical ideas, lowering my standards, desires/hang-ups on past relationships and crushes, and jealous thoughts of seeing other couples together- like at the movies tonight when everyone around me is sitting with their arm around their significant other. None of this should bother me, but it makes me retreat into my depressed/lonely/sad state and I should really work on just praying when things like this come into my head because I am sure that they are not from God.

 

[GreatistheLord]

72 chev,
God is more than capable to direct you no matter where you are in the faith. God directs everyone on the planet to some extent, and how many of them believe like you? I know exactly how you feel, and depression and sadness is the worst thing. There is good news, and that is God knows and gives us a way out. We are commanded to be joyfull and filled with peace, in the Bible and that word has real power over your emotions.
You need to get angry with these feelings as something alien to you, because as a believer you are free from the old self (Romans 8). Meditate on the word of God and tell your depression where to go. It's a revelation I've not long discovered myself that my emotions are subject to me.

 

[roggel]

There are so many ways that God has blessed you... He will bless you with the woman of your dreams...(how many times do you hear this cliche and say gag me now.) I know because i have heard it. I know it gets hard to be paitent and wonder if God has forgotten to give you someone to spend your life with. I cherish our friendship that we have developed it means a lot to me to know that we can talk to each other about whatever we want. I know that God has someone for you. Because I know what a great guy you are and what a God send you will be to her when it happens. Keep on praying but live your life, don't stand around waiting..HAHA more cliches...i know you love it

 

[Eagle_Wings]

I can totally relate, unfortunately I don't have any advice on how to deal with those feelings! It's something that I have just recently fallen back into, and that's only because the issue that was occupying my obsession for the last 6 months has been resolved. I have been in my own house for just a week and a half now, but I am already noticing those old longings coming back. I catch myself thinking how nice it would be to have someone to share my life with, someone to cook for, etc. (Although, after last nite's dinner I think I need a little more practice in that area!!! lol...It was only Mac & Cheese but I managed to totally ruin it!)

I know that God has a perfect plan for my life, and he truly does know the desires of my heart better then I do. You would think that with the way He so richly blessed me with this housing situation, which is so perfect yet nothing I would ever have thought of for myself, I would be able to trust Him in the guy department, right? Wrong!!! I know that I can sit here daydreaming all day long about the guy that I want, whether it be a crush that just never worked out, or my idea of "Mr. Perfect," yet the guy that God has set aside for me will be so much better then any of those. But that still doesn't help me be content with where God has me at this point in my life.

Aren't humans funny creatures? We can know one thing, yet we continue to act and behave in a manner contradictory to that.

 

[JPPT1974]

There are so many ways that God has blessed you... He will bless you with the woman of your dreams...(how many times do you hear this cliche and say gag me now.) I know because i have heard it. I know it gets hard to be paitent and wonder if God has forgotten to give you someone to spend your life with. I cherish our friendship that we have developed it means a lot to me to know that we can talk to each other about whatever we want. I know that God has someone for you. Because I know what a great guy you are and what a God send you will be to her when it happens. Keep on praying but live your life, don't stand around waiting..HAHA more cliches...i know you love it

If you give your all to God then God will provide for you in His timing and plans. May not be what you want it to be but God will answer in His way. God wants only the best for you as well as doesn't want you to hurt. It is better way, way better to cherish friendships much, much more. Than if you let the Lord have His way and will, maybe take it from there.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

thanks folks, i just use this technique to get things off my mind.... it really helps me to write down what im thinking

 

[Eagle_Wings]

If you give your all to God then God will provide for you in His timing and plans. May not be what you want it to be but God will answer in His way. God wants only the best for you as well as doesn't want you to hurt.

I think it's more that it's just not what we thought we wanted, or it's not one of the many scenarios in which we had imagined God providing for us. I do believe that when we have realized that God has answered a prayer or has provided for us, we always find out that it really is what is best for us and sometimes can even be a desire of our heart that we just weren't aware of.