my suffering

[dabro]

I ask myself. Will it ever end? The injustice that took place in 05 because I was psychotic because of drugs and in jail for two and half months with no advocate. Even after getting out I suffered from spring of 05 to fall of 05 of a psychosis. The trauma the jail put me thru and I just brushed it off cause I not only lost my mind I lost my ex. Today I am often reminded of this in my dreams. Dreams that would put to shame any writers movie or book. Imagine the jail as a human meat market filled with cannibals and you had no where to run since you thought in a state of insanity that every inmate was chopped up and killed. I live out this trauma everyday. I guess not getting the help I needed when I needed it was the problem. Today I wonder how does God use this for His glory. I don't understand how any of it can be used.


I don't do anything because I am sedated from medication. My life just seems to pass me by and the anxiety I feel for not doing my part as a christian is crushing. I don't know if I have attention problems. I know I did horribly in school but that doesn't mean anything. I just wish I had a life. I know ppl who say suffering produces good things but living like a hermit scared to face the world is hardly anything good.


I just want to experience the same peace I had when I gave my life to the Lord. But, as soon as I started to let head doctors mess with my head everything went down hill. I started to doubt in the power of God. I started to lean on myself for the answers than God. I'm not saying that the sick should not be treated if need be. I just want to be happy. Have a wife and kids. I want to be the father my dad never was but the way things look I may never get that chance.

 

[GoingByzantine]

I ask myself. Will it ever end? The injustice that took place in 05 because I was psychotic because of drugs and in jail for two and half months with no advocate. Even after getting out I suffered from spring of 05 to fall of 05 of a psychosis. The trauma the jail put me thru and I just brushed it off cause I not only lost my mind I lost my ex. Today I am often reminded of this in my dreams. Dreams that would put to shame any writers movie or book. Imagine the jail as a human meat market filled with cannibals and you had no where to run since you thought in a state of insanity that every inmate was chopped up and killed. I live out this trauma everyday. I guess not getting the help I needed when I needed it was the problem. Today I wonder how does God use this for His glory. I don't understand how any of it can be used.


I don't do anything because I am sedated from medication. My life just seems to pass me by and the anxiety I feel for not doing my part as a christian is crushing. I don't know if I have attention problems. I know I did horribly in school but that doesn't mean anything. I just wish I had a life. I know ppl who say suffering produces good things but living like a hermit scared to face the world is hardly anything good.


I just want to experience the same peace I had when I gave my life to the Lord. But, as soon as I started to let head doctors mess with my head everything went down hill. I started to doubt in the power of God. I started to lean on myself for the answers than God. I'm not saying that the sick should not be treated if need be. I just want to be happy. Have a wife and kids. I want to be the father my dad never was but the way things look I may never get that chance.

Brother, what I bolded is not true, living as a hermit can in many ways cure the soul and body. Being a hermit is the ultimate form of suffering, you are giving up all material possessions to grow closer to God. Jesus was a hermit for 40 days and 40 nights, and there is nothing wrong with it. I'm not telling you to become one, but we can learn from those who do lead this life.

In fact brother, I encourage you to watch this video. This video is about a life of unceasing prayer and devotion to God. The beauty of pure devotion to God has helped me with my own mental issues.

The Last Anchorite - YouTube

 

[chapmic]

Hang in there, our earthly is a game of perseverance. We have to stand strong when the times are hard. The good news is that the Jesus here's your cries and you are blessed in asking for help. Jesus knows how hard your road has been and because of that he will reward you greatly when your time on Earth is done so keep your head up. I will be praying for you and I hope you continue to pray to. I will be praying for God to guard your mind. He says that sometimes we have to keep seeking, searching and knocking. I know when my emotions get the best of me and I get anxious about the future or the past I try to count my blessings and I try to be a blessing to someone near to me. I pray and I remind myself that I have to take this life one day at a time and leave the rest of my worries. I pray for you bro! In Jesus name I pray.

 

[dabro]

Thanks for the encouragement. Please if anyone reads this......Can you explain how God rescued you from your trials.

 

[createdtol0ve]

Thanks for the encouragement. Please if anyone reads this......Can you explain how God rescued you from your trials.

God has been with me and redeemed me many times and in so many ways. I was abused as a child, primarily emotionally, and for most of my life I was unaware at how this affected my life. I was tormented internally, battled depression, fought off thoughts of suicide and felt like I was going through one huge problem after another.

To keep this someone concise, God has never given up on me. He's been by my side trying to reach out to me, teach me, guide me. As I've made more choices along the way to be obedient He has demonstrated His love and faithfulness. Taking care of my needs, starting the healing process, giving me peace and joy.

I came from brokenness and dysfunction. I'm now married with a happy child and one more on the way. God has called me to help others find their purpose in life. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to run my business from home. There are still struggles that I face, of course, but if I could emphasize the difference of where I am now versus where I was...I believe it to be a miracle and only by the grace of God.

In fact, I've been feeling thankful for my past because I know what God has done for my life and I want to share that hope with others!

 

[dabro]

Please someone help me.....prayer or something....I am grateful for everyone who has responded.......I just feel lazy and my talents are going to waste because I'm in such a deep hole of despair.

 

[GoingByzantine]

Please someone help me.....prayer or something....I am grateful for everyone who has responded.......I just feel lazy and my talents are going to waste because I'm in such a deep hole of despair.

Praying helps, just keep praying without ceasing. God will unveil the paths before you.

 

[Neogaia777]

It sounds like a very depressing and troubling situation, I will be praying for you, don't you give up on prayer, or on God, OK, hang in there, things are bound to get better, I went through (and am still going through) some phycosis of my own, and so can relate, my prayers will be with you and for us both, OK.

Know that your not alone, many are going through similar things, "perception" will affect how this period of time God has put in your life will greatly affect the outcome, try to develop the right frame of mind, and always pray, in Jesus name, prayers be with you and,

God bless you!, my friend, my kindred spirit, do not lose hope and don't give up on faith, God Bless!

 

[fozzy]

Despair and depression are from the devil. Like a dark cloud of evil that torments believers. The only thing that will help is prayer. Find people with faith to pray for you if your own prayers are not working.

I see so many commercials on TV for drugs that will supposedly cure depression and the sides effects are worse than the depression. Jesus is the great physician and he is the only one that can heal us.

 

[Free at Calvary]

Hi Dabro,

It's awful to be trapped in a place of vexation and pain, with no fault of your own. This is major, but I give it to you because you've been fighting, to the point of turning to God. Nobody can hold it against you for periods of weakness. However I'm sure things are different since Christ came into your heart.

Psychosis is a generic term nevertheless the word of God is truth, and is the best thing to believe when reality is shattered. It holds the promise of Christ. It's by his life we are saved, delivered, healed and set free, and its for him we suffer in surrendering our life for his.

Soul salvation is a spiritual journey requiring a heart of faith, and doubts and fears can harden it. If you're crying out for your flesh you won't be in the faith, and the situation will overwhelm you. It's not easy but with God's help we let go of the desires of the flesh to take hold of salvation.

I'm believing and praying for you to have victory through Christ. I think your situation will change as you increase in him. I hope you can look back and see where you've come from, or at least count your blessings in the state you are in presently.

 

[Restoresmysoul]

I once felt much like you do, but i persevered and things got better. Cast those negative feelings out of your mind and think good thoughts, find something good to do, a hobby or some other activity. Above all, don't worry. Stop torturing yourself with fears about whether you're serving God enough, just rest and put it in Gods hands, trust God and don't worry about it. Paul says above all use the shield of faith. I also worry about if im doing enough for God, but worry doesn't help. I'm putting it in Gods hands and i hope you do the same. We cant get where we want by worrying. Rest and trust God.

 

[dabro]

I suffer from PTSD. Because not getting the right help while going thru a psychotic breakdown left scars that cannot be seen. Is this my lot in life? Why do I question everything bad that happens in my life to be a result of punishment? Why do I question God? There are times when a person just suffers. Than there are times when God disciplines so that one will grow. I know God is more concerned about character than comfort. I remember giving my life to the Lord after my breakdown and it produced a peaceable fruit cause I learned a lesson. Now I can't figure between the two. Whether one is out of sheer normal suffering and the other God using for His glory.

 

[Neogaia777]

I suffer from PTSD. Because not getting the right help while going thru a psychotic breakdown left scars that cannot be seen. Is this my lot in life? Why do I question everything bad that happens in my life to be a result of punishment? Why do I question God? There are times when a person just suffers. Than there are times when God disciplines so that one will grow. I know God is more concerned about character than comfort. I remember giving my life to the Lord after my breakdown and it produced a peaceable fruit cause I learned a lesson. Now I can't figure between the two. Whether one is out of sheer normal suffering and the other God using for His glory.

I have PTSD also, at these times when things are triggering it, I pray and have faith that I have practically received for him to sooth, calm and comfort me, and having faith that I have received it instantly makes me feel better and I can feel it going away, have you tried that?

What are the "bad" things that are happening in you life, can you give specifics?, what do you think God is punishing you with and for what?

God Bless!

 

[Messy]

Thanks for the encouragement. Please if anyone reads this......Can you explain how God rescued you from your trials.

I went through hell after the divorce and when they put me on medication. It altered my mind. I fell from my faith. God set me free, I got deliverance prayer and the revelation that my old nature died, He healed my heart. I feel the same peace again as I felt before, even better.

 

[CGL1023]

Your comments seem rooted in regret and self-condemnation. I want to be sensitive in my comments yet relay the idea that 'we have whatsoever we say', (Mark 11:23) and 'life and death are in the power of the tongue', Prov. 18:21. As we are created in God's image, we have the God-like power mentioned in Rom 4:17, 'to call things that are not as though they are'. In summary, we have to carefully choose our words as they can end up working against us. We create our future with our words.

Just my personal view.

 

[ToBeBlessed]

I suffer from PTSD. Because not getting the right help while going thru a psychotic breakdown left scars that cannot be seen. Is this my lot in life? Why do I question everything bad that happens in my life to be a result of punishment? Why do I question God? There are times when a person just suffers. Than there are times when God disciplines so that one will grow. I know God is more concerned about character than comfort. I remember giving my life to the Lord after my breakdown and it produced a peaceable fruit cause I learned a lesson. Now I can't figure between the two. Whether one is out of sheer normal suffering and the other God using for His glory.

I am sure God is using your suffering for His glory. We don't always know how God works things, but we do know that He is truth and love. One day we will know all truth and know exactly why our lives were the way they are. We must have faith. Stay strong in your faith brother.
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[jbearnolimits]

I suffer from PTSD. Because not getting the right help while going thru a psychotic breakdown left scars that cannot be seen. Is this my lot in life? Why do I question everything bad that happens in my life to be a result of punishment? Why do I question God? There are times when a person just suffers. Than there are times when God disciplines so that one will grow. I know God is more concerned about character than comfort. I remember giving my life to the Lord after my breakdown and it produced a peaceable fruit cause I learned a lesson. Now I can't figure between the two. Whether one is out of sheer normal suffering and the other God using for His glory.

The breakdown produced salvation for you because it caused you to turn to Him. Unfortunately the consequences of our actions do not just go away for our flesh though. A man who makes a bad choice can lose his leg and have to live with it for the rest of his life.

But here is what you can take away from the suffering that continues: It is a reminder of the life without God. Maybe it isn't for you, but you can use this for others. God will bring all things to work for good to those who love Him. Even what you suffer with. Even with consequences of past actions or inactions.

They can be one of your greatest strengths to reach others.

I myself deal with a touch of PTSD from living in a bad situation. I personally did not bring the events on myself, but because of my family I had to deal with some of their choices. That included drive by shootings, street fights, and car chases.

But because of that I am able to break through to others. Because when people say "you don't know what it's like" I can tell them that I do and this is how God helps you through it.

I just wanted to tell you that I have a tender spot for you in this.

 

[parsley]

Hi Dabro, I just wanted to let you know that when we were all together on the Dreams & Visions forum, you were a solid part of the family there. Your input was always, always sensitive and caring.

Even when you had wild dreams, your intents were always good. You never oppressed or criticized others; you always had an open mind to what God might be telling them-- or you.

That was a witness.

We talk about delivering the gospel, but you delivered the life of the kingdom, even when you were struggling.

This is a good reminder that it's about what God is doing through us, not how well we're doing it.

 

[paul becke]

I ask myself. Will it ever end? The injustice that took place in 05 because I was psychotic because of drugs and in jail for two and half months with no advocate. Even after getting out I suffered from spring of 05 to fall of 05 of a psychosis. The trauma the jail put me thru and I just brushed it off cause I not only lost my mind I lost my ex. Today I am often reminded of this in my dreams. Dreams that would put to shame any writers movie or book. Imagine the jail as a human meat market filled with cannibals and you had no where to run since you thought in a state of insanity that every inmate was chopped up and killed. I live out this trauma everyday. I guess not getting the help I needed when I needed it was the problem. Today I wonder how does God use this for His glory. I don't understand how any of it can be used.


I don't do anything because I am sedated from medication. My life just seems to pass me by and the anxiety I feel for not doing my part as a christian is crushing. I don't know if I have attention problems. I know I did horribly in school but that doesn't mean anything. I just wish I had a life. I know ppl who say suffering produces good things but living like a hermit scared to face the world is hardly anything good.


I just want to experience the same peace I had when I gave my life to the Lord. But, as soon as I started to let head doctors mess with my head everything went down hill. I started to doubt in the power of God. I started to lean on myself for the answers than God. I'm not saying that the sick should not be treated if need be. I just want to be happy. Have a wife and kids. I want to be the father my dad never was but the way things look I may never get that chance.

One thing's for sure. Your suffering, your seemingly futile, hermit-like existence, however bitterly disappointing at the moment, is helping to redeem the world through God's grace in you, and is enriching your own spiritual character at the same time.

One particularly important thing to bear in mind is that everything takes time. Patience, which actually means suffering in its Latin root, is rewarded as generously as only God can reward us.

Chin up, lad. Each day is a new life. Exploit your current reclusive life-style to read books on spirituality. I found the lives of the saints fascinating, as well as the classics of spiritual advice. You know what? It's in our sufferings that we most closely resemble Jesus during his time on earth. God's providence is never derailed. Everything happens for a purpose. 'All things work together for good for them that love God.' But take it steady. Don't get too 'religious' too fast. Grace builds upon nature, so growth in the spirit takes time and trust in God.

 

[Restoresmysoul]

I live somewhat like a hermit, its caused me much grief. But it has also taught me to persevere. I have had many dreams too, but i focus on the Word, i cant decipher my dreams but they do seem to help me follow the Lord.