My Mother is refusing medical care. I need Godly avice please

[Shulamite]

Hi Everyone. I'm not sure if this post belongs here, but I had to ask for a listening ear and some mature, Godly advice.

My mother has had a couple strokes a year ago, has since fallen and broken her leg, won't eat much more than a couple hundred calories a day and is, in my opinion, wasting away. My father is standing by her wishes and no matter how many times I've pleaded with him to please intervene and take my mother to the hospital or call 911, he adamantly stands by her wishes and gets angry with me for trying to push him (or my mother) to get help.

My mother weighs no more than 80 pounds and is wasting away. It's truly only by the Lord's grace that she is still here. I have confronted my father with this so many times because the Lord has urged me in prayer to urge my father to do something to intervene

Here is where it gets tricky. I called the Department of the Aging on Thanksgiving and they told me that if my father makes NO attempt to call 911 or get her to an emergency room, if she dies while in my father's care, he will be charged with "caregiver neglect". Out of urgency, I wrote my father and informed him of this and told him I'm desperate. I felt the Lord telling me to be a "watchman on the wall" and warn my father that if he makes no attempt to get my mother help, even if it's her wishes NOT to receive help, he will be arrested for neglect. He became angry with me and told me to stop threatening him and that my mother would be taken out of the house against her will and "over his dead body"

Now, this is tearing me apart. My father raised me in the Lord. What is happening? I told him my call to the Dept. of Aging was an anonymous call, however, I did give them my mother's first initial and her last name and I told them what town/city they live in. Perhaps they will investigate the situation?

My father has been asking his children for months now to give him prescription medications for my mother because he won't take her to a doctor himself nor go on behalf of my mother to obtain necessary meds. I refused, telling him that it's illegal to do so. Well, my father started buying meds from overseas pharmacies and the DEA just sent him a letter stating that if he orders 1 more package of meds, they will arrest him.

I just can't believe this is the man who raised me, taught me to live for the Lord, etc. I have tried to speak what the Lord has given me to speak, I have urged him with scripture, and appealed to him by warning him that even if my mother refuses treatment, he will be arrested for caregiver neglect if he makes no attempt to help her. It's like watching someone slowly commit suicide while you sit by and watch! My mother does NOT have a living will stating she doesn't want medical care either.

Please, can someone who is intimately walking with the Lord please pray for me and give me some advice in the Lord? Should I let them make their decision as a couple or call again for help from the authorities? My father told me angrily that I am arrogantly assuming that I know what is best for he and my mother. I know Jesus is in control and I trust Him, but I cannot bear this alone. My siblings agree with my decision to confront my father over this and even make an anonymous call, but they won't come out verbally with me to stand against this.

Thank you for your time and for any advice in the Lord you can offer me. My instinct is to call for help against their will and risk my father disowning me and it could tear our family apart. But I know that if the Lord does not soften my father's heart to get her help and if my mother still refuses care, she will most likely pass away. Where do we draw the line in letting them make a choice and yet intervening because it's life and death?

 

[GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta]

I don't want to offer any bad advice. However, I am curious as to whether your mother is coherent in any manner? Is she still able to speak to you? Not that it really matters, but it will give me some idea of her condition.

Honestly, and this is just me, if this lack of nutrition isn't the result of some life threating disease, such as cancer, then I'd try to get her to the hospital. Even then, even if it were cancer, I'd do everything that I could do. I know that you said, however, that he condition is the case of strokes, which is why I wanted to know how aware she is of things. Some strokes are more severe than others. Again, not that it matters how severe, I'd still seek some help.

Your mother may or may not get better, but you might not know unless she is taken to the hospital, or in the very least have some type of doctor come and visit the house. God can do a miraculous healing, but He has also given us doctors to help us.

I definitely don't want this to tear up your family. It is often the case where critical care issues leads to big divisions within the family. Yet, I think that your dad would come around if he is a reasonable person. Most parents love their children and wouldn't desire a severed relationship.

There's a lot of variables, here, but you have to stand on the side of life, in my opinion. You don't want to always think "what if", or have feelings of responsibility if indeed your mother doesn't get better. I pray that she does get better.

Appetite suppression is often a sign of impending death. However, appetite suppression can be caused by many other things, so it's best to know what's causing it.

God's will be done in this situation.

 

[Shulamite]

Hello brother and thank you for your reply. My mother can speak, but she struggles to speak properly. Her face is drooping and she is not very coordinated in with her hands.

My father has angrily told me not to interfere with his and my mother's decision. He says that it's her body and her choice and he will not let me intervene. What hurts me so deeply is that how can anyone sit by and let their spouse make this choice and not desperately intervene to save their life? Evn if my own husband rejected help, I would do everything in my power to save him, even if he was angry with me for it.

My father, has in the past, thrown people out of the house due to family issues and not been open at all to correction or anyone challenging him. They do not have a church family and are isolating themselves from everyone. Even an old Christian friend of his tried to call him to urge him to take my mother against her will to the hospital and he refused to pick up the phone. My father will most certainly be angry with me and has already told me I'm overstepping my bounds with them.

It's no different than letting your spouse choose suicide and you saying, "Well, it's your choice honey, it's your body". This is not clear thinking to me and does not seem to come from the Holy Spirit.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

pray, keep praying. that's the most effective thing you can and should do.

think about 2 or 3 years from now. she's passed away. no matter what you do.

read in Scripture how God sustains everyone, without our help and interference mattering at some or many points.

if God sustains her, she is sustained. if God wants to take her, no one can stop Him.

if you separate yourself from your father now, you'll never be able to reconcile most likely (from the sounds of what you'fe said).

do as he requests. obey and honor him. (and her).

this is a commandment in scripture, not a suggestion.

so if you rebel against him, you find you're rebelling against God also (and have already).

take everything to God in prayer and leave it there, and ask for His Way to forgiveness and peace in Jesus. not your way, His Way. you don't have to agree with each decision, just obey and honor your father no matter if you agree or not,
so God is able , as the commandment says, to bless both you and them.

God put the line of authority in place, and He verified it and verifies it again and again through His Word, His Spirit, history, and our lives.

rest in Him, and trust Him, instead of anything or anyone else (the government etc is not very good at anything; but even if they were, they are not as good at it as God is. so trust God, and rest. roll it all onto God's shoulders, not mans.

pray. trust God. God never, never, never disappoints those who rely on Him.....

but it sure can be awkward for a (long) while.

He Knows. Trust Him. Honor your father. That's the most important.

 

[Shulamite]

Queen Esther approached the King with her plea to save her people. She obeyed the Lord's prompting to verbally plead for the lives of the Jews. We are to be watchman on the wall. If we see sword coming and say nothing, the Lord will hold us accountable. We are to speak when the Spirit urges us.

I will not force my father against his will, but I have a peaceful spirit with the Lord that I obeyed Him by urging my father to get my mother medical care.

Queen Esther is a perfect example of not remaining silent when lives are at risk.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Esther did not disobey.

Esther obeyed Yhvh's Word to her. (Yhvh's Spirit NEVER goes against His Word).

She did not decide on her own what to do.

and when she obeyed, she risked death to herself, and knew it, and she knew that she was obeying Yhvh's Word.

if she disobeyed Yhvh's Word (or commandment), she would not have been faithful or helpful.

the risk, or lack of risk or what is best, is best known by Yhvh. and Yhvh never tells anyone to disobey His Word.

Speaking up to your father, and accepting his choice, is not disobeying him, and may be fine.

 

[GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta]

Does your dad hold grudges against people, to the point of not talking to people for years following a supposed wrong? I ask this because if such is the case, it may indicate a major obstacle to reestablishing a relationship? Even then, you have to do what is right.

The fact of the matter is that if a person is refusing to eat because their body is succumbing to a debilitating disease, it is understandable why a person might not have an appetite. I've been told that this is a normal process, and that a person can do harm by forcing the person to eat. That is, if indeed the person's body is dying.

Does your mother not want to eat because she doesn't want to eat because of natural appetite suppression, as noted above, or is it because she has lost the will to carry on? There's a difference there. In the least, I don't see the harm in having a doctor examine her, whether at the hospital or having someone come by the house.

You need to get opinions from others as well.

By the way, how old is your mom?

Hello brother and thank you for your reply. My mother can speak, but she struggles to speak properly. Her face is drooping and she is not very coordinated in with her hands.

My father has angrily told me not to interfere with his and my mother's decision. He says that it's her body and her choice and he will not let me intervene. What hurts me so deeply is that how can anyone sit by and let their spouse make this choice and not desperately intervene to save their life? Evn if my own husband rejected help, I would do everything in my power to save him, even if he was angry with me for it.

My father, has in the past, thrown people out of the house due to family issues and not been open at all to correction or anyone challenging him. They do not have a church family and are isolating themselves from everyone. Even an old Christian friend of his tried to call him to urge him to take my mother against her will to the hospital and he refused to pick up the phone. My father will most certainly be angry with me and has already told me I'm overstepping my bounds with them.

It's no different than letting your spouse choose suicide and you saying, "Well, it's your choice honey, it's your body". This is not clear thinking to me and does not seem to come from the Holy Spirit.

 

[GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta]

You don't obey ungodly commands from a father. If a father tells you not to worship God, are you going to obey that? If a father tells you to divorce your spouse, are you to follow that and obey him?

You're comparing obedience of a child to a parent with obedience to God by way of obeying a parent. In most instances, you'd be correct, but for an adult child, following commands of a parent and respecting those is noble, as long as there isn't anything wrongful of those in an ungodly context.

Now, I'm not saying that her parents are doing anything wrong, but have you ever had to see a parent wasting away, knowing that they might be able to get help, and because they in their condition desires not to continue on (which could be temporary and as a result of pain, etc.), a spouse stands in the way and acts like the sick person's wishes must be adhered to.

I'm not saying that we're talking surgery, only seeing a doctor, and I don't think that is asking much.

Esther did not disobey.

Esther obeyed Yhvh's Word to her. (Yhvh's Spirit NEVER goes against His Word).

She did not decide on her own what to do.

and when she obeyed, she risked death to herself, and knew it, and she knew that she was obeying Yhvh's Word.

if she disobeyed Yhvh's Word (or commandment), she would not have been faithful or helpful.

the risk, or lack of risk or what is best, is best known by Yhvh. and Yhvh never tells anyone to disobey His Word.

Speaking up to your father, and accepting his choice, is not disobeying him, and may be fine.

 

[jacks]

This is a difficult and confusing situation. Can you talk directly with your mother and know her wishes? If she also wants to refuse care, there isn't much you can do. Would they be open to a nurse coming to visit. Hospice perhaps. Explained to your parents they won't try and interfere if it isn't their desire, rather they will just help keep your mother comfortable.

Praying for you and your family.

 

[ValleyGal]

It seems to me the real issue is whether your mom is refusing medical intervention or if your dad is withholding medical intervention and necessities of life. The physicians know about the strokes, so they may also know her wishes for end-of-life care. Everyone has the right to refuse medical intervention...it is called natural death. Before so many advances in medicine, this was the only real option, so choosing natural death is not sin and it is not something that needs `correction`, and it is your mom`s right. And for her, a natural death could be preferable to living with the debilitating effects of her strokes.

When I look at the OT prophets, they had one job: speak God`s word to the intended recipient. It was not their job to enforce their compliance or obedience. It was up to the recipient how they wanted to respond. In the same way, you have fulfilled your obligation to speak what you believe was God`s word to your father, but it is up to him how to respond. You have done all you are obligated to do and now you must trust God...

I am sure this is a difficult time for you. I have not lost a parent, but I have lost a loved one. The last gift I could give him - and the best gift - was letting him go and be with the Jesus he loved. This was a huge sacrifice for me because I desperately did not want to lose my man....but it was the most loving thing I could do for him. Perhaps this is the kind of gift you can give to your mom....the gift of letting her leave this world believing her family`s relationships would be okay when she is gone.

 

[mmksparbud]

there are laws against elder abuse--and you could be an accomplice! When she dies, there will be an investigation and they will see the condition she is in and the questions will start--such as why did YOU not do something about this--if this was a child being neglected, what would be your responsibility? To say pray, and just tell your father he needs to di something and then step back and expect God to intervene seems inappropriate. Have you checked into what your legal responsibilities are? The decision to die may have been made by them--but he may end up spending the rest of his life in prison for his decision. If God wants to take her, then let Him do it. He can intervene and let her go even with medical help--it may already be too late to save her even if medical help is given now--brace yourself or being asked by the authorities why you didn't let anyone know!!
It's one thing to turn off unwanted medical equipment, medicine and even food with medical approval, quite another to think that the authorities are nit going to label him a murderer!! I have a living will prohibiting even food if I am past help. I have no desire to be kept alive as a vegetable.

 

[Shulamite]

I agree that my position has not violated honoring a parent. A parent's word is NOT to honored or obeyed if they are not obeying the Lord if it asks you to violate His laws and commands. There are many instances in scripture where God's people feared God MORE than "man" and disobeyed man's laws in order to stay faithful to the Lord first.

Secondly, I have called the Department of the aging. They do have a name and town and the situation involved. I felt the Lord urging me to warn my father to about his impending arrest if he does not attempt to call 911.

My mother is refusing treatment and my father is standing by her and supporting her wishes, but she she does not have a living will. I told my father many times that without a living will for my mother, the authorities will charge him with neglect.

I have obeyed the Lord by warning my father. Yes, the prophets in the OT always warned verbally, but then the people listening made a decision. I cannot force my father. I have obeyed the Lord and have not remained silent.

I fear the Lord more than "man".

 

[miamited]

Hi shulamite,

This may well become an issue in my later days, but I have taken the time to sit with my loved ones now, while in complete control of my mental and physical capacities, and expressed my desires regarding 'EOL' care.

Why doesn't the individual get to choose how they want to be treated as regards medical attention?

My encouragement to you is to spend time with your mother and love her until the end.

What is it that other's are so afraid of in this issue of death? When I tell people that I'm ready to go whatever day the Lord calls me home even if it's tomorrow, they say things to me like: "You'll miss seeing your grandchildren...," or "Doctors are able to do great things these days and I believe that God gave them such abilities."

Let me assure you, and hopefully all those with a half worthy brain will understand, that no, once I am dead I will not miss anyone nor any event that comes after my death. I will be dead! Now, the people or the event may miss me, but if they love me, that day will come no matter and they will recover and move on. Whether I take medical care to extend my life through this year and lose it the next or even 10 years later, if I am loved, those who love me will at some point have to deal with my leaving. But be wholly assured that I will not be 'missing' anything or anyone.

As to whether or not all the medical practices and equipment and strategies that doctors have and use are blessings from God, well, for me, that's arguable. I use a rather simple logic process in asking myself, "If doctor's care is a blessing from God, then why did it take nearly 6,000 years to become what it is today?" Adam lived over 900 years and as far as I know never once visited a doctor. We don't really find people being 'kept alive' by doctors, as far as EOL care, until the last couple of centuries. Why did God withhold this great blessing of His for so long from His people?

Just so you can mull it over, here's my understanding. God is the great physician. If it is His desire that I live another day, then He will see to it that I do. I have peace with God through my Lord Jesus, His Son, and I understand that I am a sinner and that the wages of my sin is my death. God has blessed me with a life that is full. He has blessed me with children that I have raised. He has blessed me that I have not been in want. I trust that He will bless me with every day that He wants me to have.

In this world we fear germs and bacteria and dirt and death. In days past it was not so. We feed animals special foods that we have created to be better for them. Has God not provided them the sustenance that they have needed for the past 6,000 years? We have medical abilities to keep someone's heart beating even though their bodies are dead. Is that really a blessing from God? I believe that in our quest to overcome the power of God through the power of death, we have become more like Dr. Frankenstein.

For me, I am trusting God that He will give me every day that He has accounted for me and I am trusting that He will determine the day of my death. By the way, why are you so concerned with the laws of men in this? Do you not understand that the laws of men will eventually turn against all the laws of God? That it is a process that is gradually building in society? I'm sure you will find plenty who will support your position and especially among the world, but I don't. Love your mother and care for her by feeding her and making her comfortable and allow God to determine the day of her death. Tell your mother that you support her in her decision to live her life as she determines, and then love her until the end.

I know this is hard on those who are left behind. Especially when such actions may place them at risk with the laws of men, but I believe it is right. I should be able to decide how I will face death. You should be able to decide how you will face death. Your mother should be able to decide how she will face death. The one who loves this life will lose it.

God bless you. Yes, I understand that it is very difficult in our present culture to live this way because we have been taught and see that the great hands and works of medicine are what we are encouraged to take advantage of. But, are these works the works of God or the works of man in his attempt to overcome God's natural order of things?

In Christ, Ted.

 

[Shulamite]

Thank you all for your input. I feel the Lord uses doctors to help us and does indeed use them as a blessing. I saw a Christian doctor for years and he was used mightily of the Lord to help many. He said he considered himself a servant and used by the Lord to help people.

Luke was the "beloved physician" and Jesus didn't seem to denounce Luke for being a doctor.

I found a couple things online that I wanted to share.


Re: Is going to the doctor or taking medicine a lack of faith?

No the Bible does not support it is sin to see a doctor. Luke was the beloved physician not an evil, sinful heretic ( Col. 4:14 ). Paul exhorted Timothy to drink some wine for his stomach's sake and frequent infirmities, cutting edge medicine at the time ( 1 Tim. 5:23 ). I believe God has given us doctors and you can still use your faith in God to heal you through them. It's not guaranteed just because you go to the doctor you will be cured, even with all of our medicine. My hope is not in medical technology or doctor skill, but in God working through them.

I would say pray first and be open to hear when to go to the doctor from the Lord should the healing tarry and situation become serious. But don't reach for the tylenol with every headache or rush to the E.R. for every weird pain. Pray.

I am reminded of the man drowning who prayed for God to save him. Three boats came by and the man refused them all waiting for divine deliverance. The man dies, goes to heaven, and asks God why He did not save him. God replies, "I sent three boats, what more did you want." I think that applies in discerning measure with healing. He has given us medical advancements that have the potential to heal us with God's blessing.

I believe the opposite extreme is just as dangerous for Christians. Being so spiritually stubborn/proud almost not to humble themselves to dip in the Jordan seven times by going to see a doctor. If this is your condition, God knows, and won't release healing. He'd be more interested in healing your deformed character and reforming His Son's in you.


Conclusion

So does going to the doctor mean you or someone else you know doesn’t have enough faith in God? And does taking medicine mean that you or someone else you know doesn’t have enough faith in God? In the first place, only God can look into the human heart and discern the intent and the amount of faith that a person has. No human is qualified to make such a judgment. If they have a cold and take cold medicine, does this mean that they lack faith in God just because they want relief from their symptoms? I would say not. And to make such a presumptuous statement or endanger someone by telling them that they just need to have faith and avoid medical treatment is nothing short of negligence.

 

[miamited]

Hi shulamite,

Just so it is clear, I would never insist that someone's faith is weak because they go to a doctor. Each one must be clear in his own mind on this issue. I only speak for myself. I would never attempt to stop anyone from going to a doctor who wanted to. However, neither would I encourage someone who doesn't.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

 

[GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta]

Ted, only God knows the time of our death. He has appointed it. The date is precipitated upon many things, including free will to want to get better, which leads to taking medicine by way of medical advancements.

Since God has given mankind freewill, He has set in place a system that works in conjunction with that date of appointment.

Therefore, medicine is neutral, in my opinion. It can be used for good, or it can be used for bad. If it is used in a sinful manner, then it is being used in a manner that is against God's desires. On the other hand, if medicine is used in a manner as to extend life, then it can be used for a good purpose. The Bible speaks of men needing Earthly doctors for the physical, but God being the Great Physician for the spirit. God can also heal miraculously with or without doctors.

Since the Bible mentions doctors, and since they can be used for good, it seems to me that God can and does use to doctors to extend our lives to the appointed time of our death.

On the other hand, choosing not to eat, not out of natural appetite suppression, but out of simply not desiring to live, is not of the will of God. Remember, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Since the Bible says to not murder, suicide is not the Lord's Will and is therefore sin. It also must be noted that it is out of God's appointed time for your life to end.

When someone says, "I'll make the decisions for myself", that is willful rebellion of God's plan, if those decisions are sinful.

You speak of a Frankenstein-like experiment of medicine, as though that is the desired result. There's a healthy middle, and when doctors say that nothing medically can be done, you know that God has spoken and it is one's time to go. However, if something can be done, then it may not be that person's time to go.

Medical advancements are the culmination of the build-up of knowledge. It's no surprise that we didn't have these advancements thousands of years ago. However, remember that God made man in his own image, and that we have the ability to do good. These advancements can be used for good in a time such as ours, whereas in years past, it wasn't God's will that mankind reach this level of knowledge. Therefore, extending life, if possible, is entirely possibly within the will of God today, whereas in years past it wasn't because it was not possible.

Hi shulamite,

This may well become an issue in my later days, but I have taken the time to sit with my loved ones now, while in complete control of my mental and physical capacities, and expressed my desires regarding 'EOL' care.

Why doesn't the individual get to choose how they want to be treated as regards medical attention?

My encouragement to you is to spend time with your mother and love her until the end.

What is it that other's are so afraid of in this issue of death? When I tell people that I'm ready to go whatever day the Lord calls me home even if it's tomorrow, they say things to me like: "You'll miss seeing your grandchildren...," or "Doctors are able to do great things these days and I believe that God gave them such abilities."

Let me assure you, and hopefully all those with a half worthy brain will understand, that no, once I am dead I will not miss anyone nor any event that comes after my death. I will be dead! Now, the people or the event may miss me, but if they love me, that day will come no matter and they will recover and move on. Whether I take medical care to extend my life through this year and lose it the next or even 10 years later, if I am loved, those who love me will at some point have to deal with my leaving. But be wholly assured that I will not be 'missing' anything or anyone.

As to whether or not all the medical practices and equipment and strategies that doctors have and use are blessings from God, well, for me, that's arguable. I use a rather simple logic process in asking myself, "If doctor's care is a blessing from God, then why did it take nearly 6,000 years to become what it is today?" Adam lived over 900 years and as far as I know never once visited a doctor. We don't really find people being 'kept alive' by doctors, as far as EOL care, until the last couple of centuries. Why did God withhold this great blessing of His for so long from His people?

Just so you can mull it over, here's my understanding. God is the great physician. If it is His desire that I live another day, then He will see to it that I do. I have peace with God through my Lord Jesus, His Son, and I understand that I am a sinner and that the wages of my sin is my death. God has blessed me with a life that is full. He has blessed me with children that I have raised. He has blessed me that I have not been in want. I trust that He will bless me with every day that He wants me to have.

In this world we fear germs and bacteria and dirt and death. In days past it was not so. We feed animals special foods that we have created to be better for them. Has God not provided them the sustenance that they have needed for the past 6,000 years? We have medical abilities to keep someone's heart beating even though their bodies are dead. Is that really a blessing from God? I believe that in our quest to overcome the power of God through the power of death, we have become more like Dr. Frankenstein.

For me, I am trusting God that He will give me every day that He has accounted for me and I am trusting that He will determine the day of my death. By the way, why are you so concerned with the laws of men in this? Do you not understand that the laws of men will eventually turn against all the laws of God? That it is a process that is gradually building in society? I'm sure you will find plenty who will support your position and especially among the world, but I don't. Love your mother and care for her by feeding her and making her comfortable and allow God to determine the day of her death. Tell your mother that you support her in her decision to live her life as she determines, and then love her until the end.

I know this is hard on those who are left behind. Especially when such actions may place them at risk with the laws of men, but I believe it is right. I should be able to decide how I will face death. You should be able to decide how you will face death. Your mother should be able to decide how she will face death. The one who loves this life will lose it.

God bless you. Yes, I understand that it is very difficult in our present culture to live this way because we have been taught and see that the great hands and works of medicine are what we are encouraged to take advantage of. But, are these works the works of God or the works of man in his attempt to overcome God's natural order of things?

In Christ, Ted.

 

[Shulamite]

Hi Ted...

I appreciate you clarifying your position. I have thanked the Lord many times for medicine. I have COPD (I don't smoke, I lived in second hand smoke for 20 years)... and I have had pneumonia for the past 2 winters and the prednisone and inhalers were a blessing. I could name so many things.

My parents are doing what they feel is best and I don't begrudge them that. However, I disagree with them in love. My mindset is this: if its 20 degrees outside and windy, I reach for my coat and gloves. Does that mean I am depending on my coat and gloves more than God? No. It means I thank the Lord that He provided them for me so I don't freeze to death.
My painful issue with my parents is that my mother's life could have been saved had she agreed to medical care and accepted it as a blessing from the Lord. Personally, I could not let my sons or my husband make decision to accept death and I sit by and do nothing to help the situation. I am crushed that my father is willing to live without my mother and that he chooses to slowly let her possibly choose death.

My warning to Him was that if he does not call 911 or take her to the E.R., the authorities will see this as neglect and now my father could be put in a lot of trouble, which I shared with him. This is a situation only the Lord can handle. I have come to the point with this where He is teaching me to "cast all my anxieties on Him" and that this is too much for me to carry.

So, not only am I worried for my mother's life (which could have been helped) but now my father could be brought up on charges. It's a bit overwhelming. When I warned him of this, he became defensive, angry and said he doesn't care about the authorities. (sigh)

Anyway, I am of the personal conviction that if something can be done to save a life, it should be done. The "watchman on the wall" in Ezekiel warned people and did not remain silent (with the intent of hoping those hearing would be saved). The Lord will hold us accountable if we don't warn.

Blessings, brother.

 

[ValleyGal]

Ted, only God knows the time of our death. He has appointed it. The date is precipitated upon many things, including free will to want to get better, which leads to taking medicine by way of medical advancements.

Since God has given mankind freewill, He has set in place a system that works in conjunction with that date of appointment.

It also allows the free will to not want to get better, including refusal of medical intervention and even refusal of sustenance of life (food, for example). It sounds like the woman in the OP is refusing medical intervention and that is her right, to face a natural death. All this daughter can do is make suggestions on what she hears from God....and it is still up to her mother to decide for herself how she will respond to that word...including continue her decision to die naturally. And this is a painful process for loved ones who desperately want their loved one to stay with them longer. Letting her mother go will take sacrifice....

 

[GeorgiaGuyinAtlanta]

It also allows the free will to not want to get better, including refusal of medical intervention and even refusal of sustenance of life (food, for example). It sounds like the woman in the OP is refusing medical intervention and that is her right, to face a natural death. All this daughter can do is make suggestions on what she hears from God....and it is still up to her mother to decide for herself how she will respond to that word...including continue her decision to die naturally. And this is a painful process for loved ones who desperately want their loved one to stay with them longer. Letting her mother go will take sacrifice....

Refusing food is not natural death. Only if the human body is shutting down, which results in natural appetite suppression, should refusal of food have anything to do with natural death.

As long as a person can eat, they should. Refusing food when one can eat is out of the will of God, whether you disagree with it or not.

It is not mankind's decision to die. It is God's and God's only. While one can forgo medical procedures, they definitely can't forgo food and be in the will of God.

 

[miamited]

Hi all,

I guess you read Scripture differently than I do.

My son and I were watching TV the other night and some commercial came on, I think it was a CC commercial, and they had 9 'wise men' on a fireplace mantle and the announcer asks, "Why can't there be 9 wisemen?" My son looked at me and said, "Well, I guess because the Scriptures say that there were three." I of course immediately corrected him, but...

The point is that we often adjust what we think the Scriptures say to agree with what society says. It has just always been a widely held belief among the 'christian' community that there were three wise men, based on the fact that there are only three specific gifts mentioned.

In this instance georgiaguyinatlanta seems to have found some scriptural directive that we are not acting in the will of God if we forego food. That seems an odd thing for a born again believer to say. I have read many passages in the Scriptures that teach us that foregoing the very necessities of life to give glory to God used to be called fasting. Perhaps he'll be wise enough to show me where God's word says that we are outside of His will if we forgo food.

God bless you all.
In Christ, Ted