Met on CF

[puffca]

I think they were just joking. Don't get upset. I haven't seen anyone on this thread post in anger. Some people offered a different viewpoint, it's ok.

 

[ido]

*feels like I'm missing something*

I was talking about people who are in couples. 'Courting Couples' is the forum for people who are in exclusive dating relationships. They could go there for their 'coupley' stuff, and come here to talk about singles related topics with their friends who are still single.

Maybe I am the one missing something - but how is posting a list of who the couples are talking about "couple stuff". It's just a list of names.

Maybe we should start a list of singles, too.

 

[alfrodull]

I don't understand what is so wrong about a list of people that have met through this forum. No one ever suggested through this entire thread that the "lonely singles" that are offended by this thread should leave or stay away - the suggestion was offered that you should simply ignore the thread if it bothers you. Personally, I think that is the mature response - I ignore threads quite frequently that offend me or seem to serve no purpose for why I'm here, but I don't post in them about how it's existence ruffles my feathers.

What is the intent of a singles forum - to be here and wallow in our singleness or to offer us an opportunity to mingle with other singles and possibly meet new friends? - and for those that develop a love interest then BONUS to them!

I don't think it's right to criticize maycontainnuts for starting a thread that could easily be ignored if you don't like it.

JMHO

I agree that nobody should be attacking maycontainnuts (I certainly wasn't...) It's just that somebody brought it up here, and I was worried a new thread WOULD look like an attack.

Think about it...Is it wrong for people who are trying to stop smoking to desire their own forum where people don't make posts about, say, their favorite brand of cigarettes? Why is it different for Christians who are struggling to remain pure until the right person comes their way ?

Yes, the person who has the problem is the person who's trying to quit, or the single who's struggling, not the people who are just minding their own business. But face it, even by just reading the title, the temptation is still thrown out there.

Sorry to hijack the thread like that. The situation with my church has me really worked up about this kind of thing...

 

[Miles]

Maybe I am the one missing something - but how is posting a list of who the couples are talking about "couple stuff". It's just a list of names.

Maybe we should start a list of singles, too.

Ummm... I never suggested that there is anything wrong with this thread.

 

[puffca]

*feels like I'm missing something*

I was talking about people who are in couples. 'Courting Couples' is the forum for people who are in exclusive dating relationships. They could go there for their 'coupley' stuff, and come here to talk about singles related topics with their friends who are still single.

I think the couples started as singles in this forum should be tied to this forum. (Don't leave, you guys are awesome.)


But, I would feel strange if a ramdom couple shows up here frequently, unless they really have good stuff to share. If not, 'courting couples' is for them.
I haven't seen such a couple though, excepts the mods ocassionally, but they don't count.

 

[mina]

I'm not in anyway offended by this thread. I think Linda was reacting, but she was polite and respectful and a little humourous in her response. She had thoughtful things to say and i think most of what she was saying is steming from threads in the past. I think it's ok to discuss what she said in context of this thread. Now we have people saying everyone that discussed what was said is immature or something. Why is it so wrong to discuss respectfully even differing viewpoints???? I personally don't feel we need a subforum for "single" singles. And i don't feel it's right to throw around that people are attacking others , when they aren't. I haven't seen any attacks in this thread

 

[ido]

Think about it...Is it wrong for people who are trying to stop smoking to desire their own forum where people don't make posts about, say, their favorite brand of cigarettes? Why is it different for Christians who are struggling to remain pure until the right person comes their way ?

You are comparing apples and oranges, IMO. One is an addiction. The other is a "I don't have something that I want". And maybe the purpose for the couples to continue posting here is to offer advice and guidance on how to remain pure in the courting/dating stages. It's easy to stay pure when there is no temptation. It's like having a mentor couple when you're a newlywed that has been through the ropes and can show the way. (Of course, this would not work for the ones to choose to be sexually active before marriage - but I doubt they'll be posting about their personal details).

Yes, the person who has the problem is the person who's trying to quit, or the single who's struggling, not the people who are just minding their own business. But face it, even by just reading the title, the temptation is still thrown out there.

I'm sorry but this statement just does not sit well with me. I think that the temptation is the problem of the person that is tempted. If they don't have the strength to not click on a title that could possibly offend, it shouldn't become the OP's problem. Maybe, if this topic upsets people, they should be taking it to prayer and looking for the answer as to WHY it bothers them.

I'm sorry if the situation at your church has you frustrated, but maybe you should think about requesting some changes be made. Maybe they can branch off from the singles group with a young adult group that can include courting couples and young marrieds. My point is - if you are unhappy, be proactive about seeking change for the better rather than being down on the ones that have benefited from meeting someone in the existing group.

BTW - my comments were made in general regarding the complaints about this thread. I was not singling (no pun intended!) any one person out.

 

[alfrodull]

I'm sorry but this statement just does not sit well with me. I think that the temptation is the problem of the person that is tempted. If they don't have the strength to not click on a title that could possibly offend, it shouldn't become the OP's problem. Maybe, if this topic upsets people, they should be taking it to prayer and looking for the answer as to WHY it bothers them.

Umm...I agree. That's the point I was trying to make. The OPs are just minding their own business, and they have every right to post what they do. Which is why I thought a separate subforum was a good idea. The couples could remain where they were, and the people who desired to get away from that for a bit could do so.

My point is - if you are unhappy, be proactive about seeking change for the better rather than being down on the ones that have benefited from meeting someone in the existing group.

That's what I'm trying to do here.

 

[ido]

Umm...I agree. That's the point I was trying to make. The OPs are just minding their own business, and they have every right to post what they do. Which is why I thought a separate subforum was a good idea. The couples could remain where they were, and the people who desired to get away from that for a bit could do so.



That's what I'm trying to do here.

I meant in your church, specifically regarding the proactiveness.

Please don't think that I am picking on you - I'm sorry if it seems that way. I was just trying to respond to what you had said after I posted my original statement.

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with wanting a spot to hang with Christians that are still single (heck, I'd be right there with ya!). I just think that these opinions and suggestions could have/should have been made outside of this thread. KWIM?

(I started a separate thread in order to end my hijack of this one)

 

[covenantwmn]

Moloku and Zimfan (married this year!)

Thanks Keri.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Thanks Keri.

Aww. I never saw that picture.

 

[Forever trying]

Well maybe "rubbing it in" wasn't the best phrase to use. What I was getting at was that while it must be great to meet people from this site (and forum), not all of us are so fortunate and still find a cushy home amongst other lonely singles on the Singles forum. Now of course I'm not saying "hey, stay the heck out!" to the coupled up members. (That'd be stupid) Quite frankly, it's the lovey doveyness that I think is a tad out of place. It's not the PERSON, it's the SUBJECT.

I admit I'm probably alone in that line of thinking, though, and for that I apologize for being a slight spoilsport. I'm aware that it really can be a hope for many a single person out here to find a mate or a worthy candidate on this site, so I'm of course not speaking on behalf of everyone else. Maybe I can be in that predicament too with my own special guy so that I can be on the other end of the spectrum (for ONCE) and look at it from another angle and be all giddy and girly and grateful to God that He hasn't forgotten about me, but pfft, who knows how much longer that will be. Probably a long time since men are not my favorite creatures right now.

Sorry for being a sour note here, though. Feel free to carry on with couplehood chatter. I think I got my basic gist of thoughts off my chest anyway.

Carry on, carry on.

I wouldn't worry about offending people. I think most people know you don't mean anything personal. And the fact is you do have a point. This is a place where singles are meant to support each other (particularly in the down times), and it does seem to go against the purpose of this forum (not necessarily this thread) when couples on here do go a bit overboard and just about brag of their current status.

Hope things start looking up for you.

 

[mina]

Thanks Keri.

beautiful picture!

 

[covenantwmn]

Aww. I never saw that picture.

beautiful picture!

Thanks guys! They just got married June 2, so just got pics done.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

What I do not understand is that I made a thread asking a simple question about whether or not anybody else knew of any more couples to add to my list (and some people actually did answer my question), but my thread got completely derailed and then drama followed because people decided to complain that I posted it in the wrong place. I am single/not in a relationship. I am not a part of the list that I posted therefore I am not "bragging". Seeing other people on here get into relationships is encouraging and exciting to me as a single person.

As far as my thread being discouraging, I don't buy that. If I were to go into the depression forum and post a list of people who had recovered from depression that would be encouraging. People hopefully wouldn't respond with "hey this post does not belong in here, go post in the happy people's forum, we want to stay sad". The intended response would be for people to go, "hey look, all those people are doing better, so maybe there is hope for me, too!"

Perhaps a thread about couples does indeed belong in the couples forum instead of here, but I felt that more people here would know who I was asking about (I think one poster is the mother of one of the newlyweds?) and that I would get quicker responses in here.

Thank you to the people that did answer my original question and also thanks for posting the cute pic.

 

[Teufelhund]

Are people still buttsore about that stupid stuff? Cause that's all been all that's been going, and it's really stupid. Like mind-numbingly stupid. People should quit being bitter to these poor people, and people should quit rubbing it in, MCN got kind of swiftboated there. So everybody should just get a life.

 

[mina]

I think this got blown way out of proportion. People are going to have different opinions. I don't think your op was discouraging and i don't think what followed was drama. Except in the spinoff thread.

 

[puffca]

Threads being hijacked, intentionally or unintentionally, is not novel.
It's not anybody's faults because once a thread is started, it pretty much grows by itself.

 

[2LivIsChrist]

There is also Mikeyp(mike) and I_Survived (lisa)

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

There is also Mikeyp(mike) and I_Survived (lisa)

I don't believe I've seen them around. Have they met in person?