Medicate a 7-year old? help!

[From Glory to Glory]

Hi all,

I am coming to you with a very heavy heart for my 7-year old daughter, Lauryn. She is the middle child and has always been a true joy, and a source of almost daily frustration as well. She is very moody and perceives herself to the be the victim at all times. If her older sister looks at her, it can set her off, or if anything in the slightest goes wrong, it can set her off. We were just at Target and they didn't have her size in a dress she wanted, so she started crying and yelling at her sister in the checkout line. She can be highly explosive and cries at the drop of a hat on an almost daily basis. At the same time, she can be very loving and creative and wonderful and she has a sweet side of her that can melt your heart. I know that she has learned some of her behaviors from me, as I also tend to have an explosive temper at times (but never in public!), but we have been working very hard with her to stay calm and try other approaches when letting feelings out. We have also had her in therapy for a while now.

Anyway, her counselor just recommended that she be put on medication. She is being referred to a child psychiatrist for this and her appointment is in January. The thing is, we are terrified of this. We are afraid that she just wouldn't be her anymore. We are afraid of her becoming one of those teenagers who is on medication that gives them suicidal thoughts. I have been on anti-depressants in my life and I know how they can really numb you out. I feel a huge responsibility to do the right thing here. This is not me we're talking about, this is my child, and I don't want to screw her up. Also, I feel bad that she either inherited this tendency from me, or learned it from me.

I love this child so very much. I love all my children equally, but each is special to me in their own way. I want to save her. I am praying for her and both my husband and I have felt like putting her on medication would not be God's best for her. But, after the way she is acting tonight, I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how to help her control her temper or deal with her feelings. I feel like the enemy has an assignment over her life that we need to break off her in the name of Jesus.

Would any of you be willing to say a prayer for her and for us to make the right decision? We would be so very grateful.

God bless,

Pam

 

[pdudgeon]

i'm going to assume that you've already had a complete medical and neurological work up for her. if you haven't that needs to be done.

secondly the medication is usually a combination of drugs and it will take a while to get the dosages adjusted. there are new drugs out on the market that are better than what they used to be, but it takes careful monitering as well as time for the body to adjust to the drugs.
She will still be your child, but without the hyper highs and depressive lows that you are seeing now.
in a very real sense it willl be like chipping away at all the excess marble that surrounds the beautiful child within her, so that she finally has a chance to express and do everything that is bottled up inside.

i have an adult friend who is like this and is on medication. i find her to be delightful, extremely intelligent, unique, upbeat, and very insightfull. when she is off her meds she can't concentrate, is loud, obnoxious, flies from one thing to another, and accomplishes little, and is frustrated, angry, and depressed.

as you say, it is a hard thing for her to reconcile herself to a life of being controlled by the drugs, and yes, she wishes that it weren't so.
but for now she knows that she can do more good for herself and for others while she is on the drugs than she can when she is off them.

and she has done very much good.

 

[gratefulgrace]

How is her diet? Does she have allergies? Try a basic allergy elimination diet to see if there is improvement. It worked like magic albeit briefly for my son at around the same age. He wouldn't stick with it. He is 22 and still struggles with severe excema. We did try ADD drugs and antidepressants for awhile but he ended up off of them and has continued to have a challenging personality but it was his choice and he is finding his way in the world. He tried Effexor a few months ago again and does not like how it makes him feel numb. Part of his spark is his passion so I do understand his concern. It just made him so much easier to get along with. sigh. I used essential fatty acids as a supplement when he was young(Efalex) and he felt that made a bit of difference but not the dramatic one that a prescripton does, however there are no side effects. Best wishes as you sort through this difficult situation. gg

 

[IKTCA]

Pam,
I know little about depression or antidepressant.
The only thing I can do for you is to pray for you and your child.
I will continue to pray as long as I remember or get reminded by you.
Rupert

 

[From Glory to Glory]

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and insight. No, she has not had a neurological work up done at all. She's only had typical yearly general doctor's appointments. She's had no studying of her brain at all. I have been doing quite a bit of research on the effects of these drugs on children and the side effects, both short and long term can be dramatic and even dangerous at times. Also, I am finding that there is not nearly as many studies done on children as on adults, which worries me.

On another note...we have noticed that Lauryn needs a full 11 hours of sleep, which she is not getting because she continually takes about 2 hours to go to sleep and often wakes up again in the night. She is so aggravating to put to bed because she always gets back up, or wakes us up saying she can't go to sleep, which drives us crazy. One the nights when she does get enough sleep, she is much better. Also, her tantrums tend to happen in the late afternoon and evening...almost never in the morning or early afternoon. Also, she does not take any vitamins and I know I don't give my kids enough fruits and vegetables. Maybe I should look into that. They do get some every day, but not the recommended 5 servings. I'm a bad mom, I know!

We will continue to watch her and pray about this. Thank you!

Pam

 

[imperfectchristian]

Alot of good advice. As always (but just for the record) be sure and consult a professional.

I personally prefer a psychologist (LPC) that views medical treatment as a last resort. Also, make sure that if she is eventually put on medicine that it is done by a psychiatrist, not just a regular doctor. They are specially trained in the area of balancing and monitoring the prescribed medication.

If you decide to give her medicine, read up on whatever they are planning to give her so you can be aware of side effects.

Something to take note of...at 7 years old, your child should not be consistently sleeping 11 hours a night. When your exhusted it's understandable, but if this is a regular occurence it could be a major reason why she is having the problems she is having. Lack of good rest and sleep (which is what that could actually be) can dramatically effect the nervous system and it can have a domino effect. (hyper irritation and angry outbursts) I would have her doctor look into that.

Also remember...medication is not a cure, rather it is a tool to bring things back to a controllable level so that the child can receive helpful counseling. Some doctors will just medicate children without referring them for counseling. On-going professional counseling is very important IMO.

My suggestion is that you have her see a good child psychologist (pereferably one who is a Christian) and let them give her a thorough evaluation and then get their feedback. You will know alot more after consulting with a professional counselor / psychologist.

Don't forget your family minister either. An expereinced pastoral care minister can be an important part of total care.

Most importantly...pray with your daughter and continually reassure her that you love her.

Hope this helps sister,

Blessings!

 

[KleinerApfel]

I've been praying for you and your daughter.

You are NOT a bad Mom, so stop telling yourself that!

The sleep issue must make a huge impact on her ability to keep her mood stable. And 7 year old girls can be as difficult as teens - I think my daughter was at her most difficult between about 7 and 9, and also had intense nightmares and even sleepwalked a couple of times in that middle childhood phase.
I began to think oh dear, if she's as moody as this now, what will she be like when the hormones hit?! But in fact her teen years were really not a problem.

Ask your doctor and/or psychiatrist to look into the sleep issue. I have a feeling this is crucial for her, and would make a big difference in how she copes with her emotions.

Maybe if your dear little girl could sleep a regular 9 hours most nights she'd find life gradually becomes more balanced?
If she's sleeping 11 hours sometimes it's possibly only because she's trying to catch up from the disturbed nights, but if she slept better all the time she'd be fine with a more reasonable amount.

The way you describve her behaviour it could really be this combination of:
1/ her naturally exuberant personality trying to express itself
2/ coupled with sleep deprivation,
3/ then the cumulative effects of the moods and tantrums on her and everyone in the family, causing her to feel out of control.

If you pursue the dietary idea, do check with a dietician - restriction of variety in a child's nutrition can be dangerous.

Finally, reminding you again - you're not a bad mother, you're a great one! You love your daughter, desire only her good, pray for her. You're not perfect - who is?! Every tear you shed is a prayer too.

(((((((((Hug))))))))

 

[Thekla]

Just saw this thread; prayers for you and your family !
Remember to pray for all her health care professionals.
I am so sorry to hear that you, your daughter and family are going through this.
God willing that the source may be discovered and treated however He sees fit.

You've received such great advice already ! I just wanted to add a bit:

You may want to add endocrine system (esp. a good thyroid work-up, if you can) evaluation. Thyroid problems can present as behavioral and emotional symptoms.

Sleep problems can be either cause or symptom (and exhausting for the family in their own right).

If your daughter does need medication, it can be a true life saver - don't be discouraged if you need to trial a number of medications/combinations.

Our son was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at age 16.

If you wish, please feel free to pm me.

God with us !

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

I'm not an expert but I would begin to check into what she's eating. There are lots of problems that can arise due to suger, white flour, additives, lack of certain vitamins, etc., that is in what she may be eating on a regular basis.

 

[San54]

Along with the good advice above ,I have added my prayers.
Also find a trusted Pastor to lay hands on your family,especially your little daughter.I would get that done very soon. Remember Jesus is the Great Physician.

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Moriah does not approve of giving a 7-year-old psychopharmaceuticals. These drugs should never be used with children so young, ever, unless of course a blatantly obvious severe psychosis and completely inability to access reality exists or something.

Recommend finding out the real reasons for her difficult behaviors rather than trying to punish or drug her out of them. Family dynamics would be a great place to start. Children don't have an axe to grind, so if a child that young feels left out, rejected, unloved, or given short shrift in comparison to siblings, it bes not just empty whining or selfishness. There bes something to it, even if the child's sense of things presents as exaggerated. You will have to gird yourself up with courage to face the truth of this matter as it may feel like a judgment upon you at first, but if you bes humble and willing to correct your mistakes and imbalances (assuming the family dynamic does constitute the origin of your child's distress or contributes to it), then by those courageous and selfless actions you will dispel that judgment and save your daughter's heart, salvage your relationship with her, her self-worth, and a healthy place for her in the family, and cover a multitude of sins. You may even spare her from a life of increasing misery and alienation.

 

[cyberlizard]

i've spent time in child & adolescent psychiatry (not as a patient but a worker), and from my own experience the two most common stressors which were the problems tended to be both school issues. firstly, bullying, secondly academic stress (even at that age). The third reason is family discord, too much arguing, too much time devoted to another sibling, etc.

there is quite good evidence that children at these ages do suffer from depression (i'm mean proper depression not the 'i feel a bit down today' mentality.) From my experience, medics (including general physicians and psychiatrists) are loath to prescribe any medications for children until they reach puberty, and the first line of attack on childhood depression is usually in the form of one of the CBT's. Our clinic though was different and we used SFBT (solution focused brief therapy.)

The idea that anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts is actually a little twisted. Generally, people get depressed and as their mood drops become depressed, then the suicidal thoughts increase. Then they plateau out. Then when they improve (often using things like paroxteine/seroxat you mention) their mood begins to life, their motivation increases and with it the suicidal intent and risk. Whether the medications cause any changes to statistical deviations in suicidality is extremely open to debate, and look all medications, people should be very well informed from both sides of the fence before they come to any decisions whether it be anti-depressants or paracetamol 9(after all that can kill.).

Psychiatrists are not gods... nor are they (generally) stupid. They are bound by moral, ethical and legal frameworks to act in the best interests of their patients.



Steve

 

[Elijah2]

I am coming to you with a very heavy heart for my 7-year old daughter, Lauryn. She is the middle child and has always been a true joy, and a source of almost daily frustration as well.
I can understand, because I’ve seen much in my life of such things in the change of a young child, which from my experiences have been either physical or spiritual.

She is very moody and perceives herself to the be the victim at all times.
Did this just occur suddenly, or has she always been like this?

If her older sister looks at her, it can set her off, or if anything in the slightest goes wrong, it can set her off.
Yes, have seen that many times, but when I do get put in that position by the Holy Spirit, I have a chance to lay hands on the child and pray, and the child settles down and changes immediately. The power and authority of our Lord Jesus Christ is the best medicine for many such things.

We were just at Target and they didn't have her size in a dress she wanted, so she started crying and yelling at her sister in the checkout line. She can be highly explosive and cries at the drop of a hat on an almost daily basis.
Again has this just happened lately or has it been that way for some time?

At the same time, she can be very loving and creative and wonderful and she has a sweet side of her that can melt your heart. I know that she has learned some of her behaviors from me, as I also tend to have an explosive temper at times (but never in public!), but we have been working very hard with her to stay calm and try other approaches when letting feelings out.
Well, your honesty can show a situation that needs to taken care of and sorted out through patience, self-control, and gentleness.

This is a common fall out with family circles that can be caused by physical or spiritual.

We have also had her in therapy for a while now.

Anyway, her counselor just recommended that she be put on medication.
Sad as it is, those who don’t understand the spiritual side of things know only one thing: “MEDICATE!”

She is being referred to a child psychiatrist for this and her appointment is in January.
You haven’t been able to contact a good God-anointed ministry team who besides know the psychiatry practices, but also Christian practices for such conditions?

The thing is, we are terrified of this.
I would be to.

We are afraid that she just wouldn't be her anymore. We are afraid of her becoming one of those teenagers who are on medication that gives them suicidal thoughts.
Yes, as sad as it is, the Spiritual Warfare prayer has been substituted for drugs.

I have been on anti-depressants in my life and I know how they can really numb you out.
Yes, been there and done that, and when I realised my problem was spiritual it all stopped.

I feel a huge responsibility to do the right thing here.
Well, my dear sister, sad as it is, the Christian world has become secular.

This is not me we're talking about, this is my child, and I don't want to screw her up.
Well, I haven’t come across any person who has been healed by antidepressants, they have been stabilised, but not healed. But, through consistant Spiritual Warfare prayer they have come off the drugs and were healed.

Our Lord Jesus Christ didn’t use drugs!

Also, I feel bad that she either inherited this tendency from me, or learned it from me.
Yep, an aspect of spiritual problems that is overlooked or fobbed off as UnBiblical.

I love this child so very much. I love all my children equally, but each is special to me in their own way. I want to save her. I am praying for her and both my husband and I have felt like putting her on medication would not be God's best for her.
I believe Spiritual Warfare prayer will be the best advice.

But, after the way she is acting tonight, I just don't know what else to do. I don't know how to help her control her temper or deal with her feelings.
Patience, self-control, gentleness, authority in His Name, and Spiritual Warfare prayer is the submission that will cause the enemy to flee.

I feel like the enemy has an assignment over her life that we need to break off her in the name of Jesus.
You couldn’t be so correct in your assessment, because I’ve discerned that this is possible by your explanation.

Many fob off the “principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual hosts” of the supernatural realm as fantasy these days.

If your child has experienced any type of abuse or trauma, this can happen.

I can talk from personal experience, because in my very young age, my mother cursed me many times, and my mother dabbled in the occult.

If Spiritual Warfare is taken as in accordance with His Word, with no doubt, and the Prayer of Faith in authority, in His Name, then who can be against you.

Would any of you be willing to say a prayer for her and for us to make the right decision? We would be so very grateful.
I will pray for you and your family and for your daughter.

 

[Elijah2]

Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and I lift up Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family up to You, Lord, and pray the Hedge of Protection completely round them now, in Jesus’ Name.

We thank You, Heavenly Father, that You are a wall of fire around about Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family and that You set Your angels round about them, in Jesus’ Name.

We thank You, Heavenly Father that Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family dwells in the secret place of the Most high and abides under the shadow of the Almighty. We say of You, Lord Jesus Christ, You are their refuge and fortress, in You they trust, in Jesus’ Name.

You cover Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family with Your feathers, and under Your wings shall they trust, in Jesus’ name.

Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family shall not be afraid of the terror by night or the fiery darts and curses that flies by day toward them. Only with their eyes will Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family behold and see the reward of the wicked, in Jesus’ Name.

Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family has made You, Lord, and Master of their refuge and fortress, no evil shall befall them, no accident or injury will overtake them, neither shall any plague or calamity come near them. For You give Your angels charge over them, to keep them safe and in all Your ways, in Jesus’ Name.

Heavenly Father, because You have set your love upon them, therefore You will protect and deliver them, and they shall call upon You, Lord, and You will answer them. You will be with them in trouble, Lord, and You will satisfy them with long life and show them Your salvation. Not a hair or their head shall perish, in Jesus’ Name. (AMEN)

(Zech. 2; 5; Psa. 34:7, 91:1-2, 91:8-11, 91:14-16, and Luke 21:18)

 

[Elijah2]

Heavenly Father, we come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and we thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, for ALL THINGS in the lives of Glory To Glory, Lauryn and Family.

Lord Jesus Christ, touch their eyes and help them to see, give them the ears to hear, and to clear their minds, carnal and spiritual, so that that will be transformed and renewed.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose every strongman of old, wrong, ungodly pattern of thinking, attitude, idea, desire, belief, motivation, habit and behaviour from their lives.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind their minds and hearts, to Your mind and heart, so that every thought, feeling and purpose in their lives is of Your mind and heart.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind their feet to the path of righteousness, so that their steps will be steady and sure, as they walk that “narrow path.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind their body, soul, mind, emotions, will, heart, and spirit with Your Will and Purposes in their lives.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose the power and effects of seduction, deception and lies from their lives.

Lord Jesus Christ, we bind Glory to Glory, Lauryn, and Family to Your Truth, and to the covering of their “house”, their “temple”, and their “soul” with Your Precious Blood.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose all generational bondages and associated strongholds and soul ties from their family.

Lord Jesus Christ, we loose the power and effects of any harsh or hard words or curses spoken by them against anyone and themselves.

Lord Jesus Christ, we call forth every precious Word of Scripture that has ever entered into their mind and heart that it would rise up in power within them.

Lord Jesus Christ, Teach their heart to be still, as they rest in You alone. You are our Saviour, Lord, King, and Prince of Peace.

Lord Jesus Christ, we tear down, crush, smash and destroy every stronghold in their lives.

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank You, for Your Counsellor, the Holy Spirit that covers them, and we thank You, Lord Jesus Christ for Your bloodline protection over their family.

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank You, for the Truth of Your Word, because You are the Word for their healing: in their struggles; of their broken-heart and concerns; of their illnesses; of their “soul”, by setting Lauryn free from captivity, and delivering her from evil.

Lord Jesus Christ, we pray and ask all of this in Your Precious Name.

 

[Optimax]

Praying for God's wisdom for you.

 

[From Glory to Glory]

Thank you so much to all of you! I have been gone all day and am just now reading all your posts. I am overwhelmed by your kindness and prayers. I will write more tomorrow! Thanks again!

Pam

 

[Moriah_Conquering_Wind]

Hi Pam

apologies for the tone of Moriah's original post. Upon re-reading it sounded harsh and nasty, totally inappropriate. Moriah has gone back to revise it so that it contains (hopefully) helpful and useful input instead of sounding like a harsh indictment. You certainly don't need some stranger being hard on you at this time in your life with what you face right now. Again, please accept Moriah's apology for speaking to you wrongly before.

 

[SUNSTONE]

First I must ask, where did you come up with this idea that she needs 11 hours of sleep?
I think only babys need to sleep that much.

I know that she has learned some of her behaviors from me, as I also tend to have an explosive temper at times (but never in public!), .....

I feel bad that she either inherited this tendency from me, or learned it from me.


I know I don't give my kids enough fruits and vegetables

With only reading the few things you have said about the child's situation, it sounds like the child is suffering from neglect, verbal abuse, and malnutrition.
This doesn't mean that you're an evil mother out to destroy your kids, this problem is common in america. Maybe the majority of american familys suffer some level of this problem.

These are some things I would suggest.
- Change your familys diet. Drink mostly water, eat your veggies, make sure the diet is high in fiber, etc.
- The whole family should workout together. Parents should be training their kids the importance of taking care of their own bodys, and working out and eating healthy together is one of the best ways to do that.
- Limit tv, internet, videogames, phone time, with the entire family, and use that extra time to do activitys together.
- Cut back on the 11 hours of sleep. That's like putting a child into solitary confinement.
- One on one time. Spend time with each child as you would with a very close friend.
You talk and listen about everything, literally everything.
This should be done on nearly a daily bases, and not just for 5 minutes but for 30 minutes or longer.

 

[Cassidy]

You say you don't feed your kids enough fruit and vegies? Well what are the alternatives that you are feeding your kids??? Foods that are processed, high in perservatives, colours and flavours. If your child (or any child) is specifically sensitive to these things then this can bring out unruly behaviours and aggression. I'm surprised that the Doctors didn't get you onto a healthy diet to start with...waaaaaaaay before recommending antidepressants! That's shocking!

You say that you have a somewhat explosive behaviour too? She may very well have picked up or inherited this from you...however...if you were to look into changing your family's diet you may find that your own behaviour might be positively affected too...wouldn't that be great?

You really need to try this first before ANYTHING else. Before you resort to medications and things.

Anyway I highly recommend taking her to a dietician or a nutritionalist....as soon as possible, change her diet and see what happens, it may even help her sleep patterns too! DON'T MEDICATE HER YET!!!

http://www.asehaqld.org.au/?q=node/22

The allergens present in the different food items, affect the basic senses of the children. The affected children look disturbed and gradually, the learning or remembering abilities get impaired. The basic symptoms of behavior disorder due to food allergy can be observed within a short time of eating the allergic food item.

The person may get aggressive or start screaming and the behavior becomes more and more complicated. The child may throw tantrums or become hyper.

It has also been observed that their sense of feeling emotions also gets affected, as while at one moment, they look joyous and then within a few moments, they become irritating and quarrelsome, giving out clear indication that their brain has also been affected by the abnormal over-reaction due to the allergen.

It is a clear indication that the food allergies do affect the behavioral pattern of the person.

Thus, it is no secret that food allergies can lead to certain behavioral problems, but the need of the hour is to save the childhood from getting engulfed by the vicious circle. So, immediately after seeing any of the symptoms of food allergy, do consult a physician.

http://health.top54u.com/post/Can-Food-Allergies-Cause-Behavior-Problems.aspx