Well I have been married for four years and it has been very terrible. I'm not claiming perfection, but I refuse to take any blame for this marriage. I have handle things wrong by saying things out of anger is all I have done wrong. I asked my wife "other then the times we argue about the problems she has caused in our marriage is their anything she would leave me for?"She couldn't give me one reason. She has manipulated and lied all of the marriage. I did not pray about marrying her. I was so desperate to get away from my family that I married this women. I have paid for my choice and it is pretty painful. I'm trying my best but I see no good in her. Being cool is what is important to her, and she make me very sick to my stomach. I'm also a step-father on a leash. She don't discipline the kids and they are out of control. I do my best but it back fires. She gets on me cause my parenting style is not like hers. She don't respect me and I have earned my respect dealing with her,her family and the kids father.It makes me so angry when she cusses me out because I catch her in lies all the time.She can never admit to anything. I fell for her I was a baby Christian and she use to send me scriptures and great advice just to catch me. She hid all her sinful behavior like drug use etc. she is a totally different person when she is not with me. She was telling her weed man all about our marriage problems. She suggested Christian counseling with my pastor just to convince him that I was to problem so she can hide all of her drug use. She sat in their and they just pointed the finger at me.The pastor was drilling me like I was the problem and she was lying and doing drugs the whole time with no guilt. I finally had to get in the car and catch her in the act. I have been homeless so many times because of this women.She is probably the most evilest person I know and she still gets mad when I don't trust her. I try my best to love her like God want me to, but she is so evil. It is very hard to be that strong when you sleep next to a person that hates truth. I know I made a mistake but I have to live with it until I can prove she has committed adultry. I know I sound critical but this women has no heart at all and I have let her drag me in misery with her. This is completely my fault and my relationship with God is all jacked up because of the condition of my heart. I absolutely can love this women without Gods help. It me against her and her family and the kids father. All that and I still have not went and cheated on this women. I just can't see a good marriage with her. I don't even want one with her anymore. I will have to just ride this out. I can't break a covenant under God because I was selfish and married this women.i needs Gods mercy this is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my life. I don't know how I will ever be a minister or anything for God under these conditions. Satan has put every obstacle possible to make it hard for me to fulfill my calling. I'm open for correction. I know I sound like a terrible person but my heart is far away from this. I don't understand why I was lonely to the point that I settle for the worst.
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- Thread starter Wore
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I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament. Instead of congratulating yourself for not cheating on her, just separate. You don't have to put up with her drug use, lies, and manipulation. You married under false pretenses; she lied to you about who she was, so the validity of the marriage is questionable. Have you told your pastor the truth? I mean, set up a time to talk to him without your wife there, and explain the situation. Once he sees the full picture, he might have some helpful advice for you.
If you do choose to separate, use that time to pray and reflect about the choices you've made and how you got into this marriage in the first place. If ultimately you end up divorcing, don't jump into another relationship without careful consideration.
As for becoming a minister...I don't think that's a realistic goal right now, not with a drug-abusing wife in the mix. There is a lot of impropriety there. Once you get your life in order, maybe it will become possible.
God bless and I hope the situation improves for you soon.
If you do choose to separate, use that time to pray and reflect about the choices you've made and how you got into this marriage in the first place. If ultimately you end up divorcing, don't jump into another relationship without careful consideration.
As for becoming a minister...I don't think that's a realistic goal right now, not with a drug-abusing wife in the mix. There is a lot of impropriety there. Once you get your life in order, maybe it will become possible.
God bless and I hope the situation improves for you soon.
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posted: "I absolutely can love this women without Gods help"
True.
Encourage you to read the original "Love and Respect" by Emerson (think he was a pastor for decades). The book is based on husbands LOVE your wives and wives Respect your husbands (Eph 5:33). btw, you'll need to pursue your part and put the emphasis on what you can do.
posted: "I try my best to love her like God want me to..."
Prayed that Yahweh will show you how and to give you wisdom, counsel, guidance, and healing.
True.
Encourage you to read the original "Love and Respect" by Emerson (think he was a pastor for decades). The book is based on husbands LOVE your wives and wives Respect your husbands (Eph 5:33). btw, you'll need to pursue your part and put the emphasis on what you can do.
posted: "I try my best to love her like God want me to..."
Prayed that Yahweh will show you how and to give you wisdom, counsel, guidance, and healing.
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NicoleWilliams
Active Member
I realize you’re hurting right now, brother, and I am so sorry to hear about the pain in your marriage. The best thing I can do for you is to pray for you, asking the Lord to comfort you and lead you into his best plan for your life. Have you considered Christian marriage counseling? If no, then I would encourage you to seek counseling before giving up – maybe it can help you. May God be your source of wisdom and strength in the coming days.
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Goodbook
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Sorry to hear that i dont know what to say but sounds like its worse to be married than to stay home for you?
Be honest to God and ask him to forgive you that you made a mistake in not asking Him before going to marry someone.. Are your parents christians?
Was your wife on drugs before you married or is it shes just backsliding.
With addictions the best thing to do is separate and pray for your wife while you apart. Dont enable her drug use. It sounds like she remarried as you say you a stepdad, what happened to the dad...is she a widow or divorcee?
Drugs can turn people into liars easy as pie. She will need some rehab or some intervention if shes in denial, have you considered asking maybe the salvation army for help as they good with addictions. Dont try to intervene on your own. I went out with someone and he hid his drug addiction for quite some time before he came clean about it, he would show his good side to me but when I wasnt around he was leading a double life.
Be honest to God and ask him to forgive you that you made a mistake in not asking Him before going to marry someone.. Are your parents christians?
Was your wife on drugs before you married or is it shes just backsliding.
With addictions the best thing to do is separate and pray for your wife while you apart. Dont enable her drug use. It sounds like she remarried as you say you a stepdad, what happened to the dad...is she a widow or divorcee?
Drugs can turn people into liars easy as pie. She will need some rehab or some intervention if shes in denial, have you considered asking maybe the salvation army for help as they good with addictions. Dont try to intervene on your own. I went out with someone and he hid his drug addiction for quite some time before he came clean about it, he would show his good side to me but when I wasnt around he was leading a double life.
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mina
Brown Eyed girl
Proverbs 11:14 says that in a multitude of counselours there is safety.
I think you should probably separate and attend counseling. Not with the pastor you saw before....... If she will not attend with you, go by yourself so you can get counsel and wisdom on what to do and to work on yourself. Go to a licensed , certified counselor ; there are Christian ones out there! If your goal is to save the marriage; then they can help you know what direction to take on your part.
I think you should probably separate and attend counseling. Not with the pastor you saw before....... If she will not attend with you, go by yourself so you can get counsel and wisdom on what to do and to work on yourself. Go to a licensed , certified counselor ; there are Christian ones out there! If your goal is to save the marriage; then they can help you know what direction to take on your part.
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