My husband and I have been married for 19 months. It has been quite a hurtful experience. I would have never thought my husband would treat me so badly and be so disrespectful to me. He wasn't doing these things before we got married. Once we said I do, he changed. Maybe two months after we got married, my husband started staying out and not coming home. He would leave on Friday and not return until Monday morning. Of course, I would be so angry and throw a fit but it wouldn't stop. Last summer he got a job out of state and hardly talked to me. When he returned, he hardly spent any time with me and was always gone. I discovered messages from several different women. He told another woman that he loved her, wanted to make love to her and he was talking to her the entire time he was at work while ignoring me. There was another woman that actually lives in his hometown about 40 minutes away that he went to visit shortly after he returned from work. There were all types of sexual messages between the two of them. This really hurt me because he wouldn't be intimate with me but was messaging her sexual messages. He promises he never slept with her but I caught him twice, about 9 months apart, messaging her sexual messages and I don't believe it one bit that he didn't sleep with her especially when he's not coming home.
Our marriage has really suffered and it's like he takes no responsibility for this or even shows any genuine remorse. Last fall, he took a job in FL and things seemed to get a little better but they staying out and not coming home had not stopped. He will go, not answer the phone, not respond to a text or anything. I just stopped calling and texting. He quit his job in January without even discussing it with me and not having another job lined up. A very well paying job at that. So now I have been left with the finances all dependent upon my income and it has been difficult. Since January, it's been awful. He won't clean, check our kids' homework, wash clothes, fold clothes or even come to our kids sporting activities. He will go to his hometown again almost every weekend and not return home for several days. I find it so disrespectful and every time he comes home he tells me it won't happen again and it happens the very next weekend. Also, that woman lives up there and he goes on and on about how he's not seeing her. I said then why can't you answer the phone or text? He says he doesn't want to hear me fuss so he just ignores everything. This has been going on all year. One day, he didn't even pick up our kids from school because he was still up there hanging out with his friends. Our money is tight and I think it's very selfish of him to use an entire tank of gas to just hang out and drive around all weekend when I'm going to have to fill the car up again.
The day before my birthday a couple months ago, I was driving back from church with our kids. I ran over something and had a blow out while it was storming. He was of course in his hometown hanging out. I called him many times and he ignored all of my calls. I'm out in the middle of nowhere, stuck with my kids in a storm. I was furious! When he finally came home, the next day, he said he didn't know I had a blowout and that's why he didn't answer the phone. I was like how can you know anything when you don't answer the phone?! He didn't even tell me happy birthday. I know he couldn't afford to buy anything but he didn't even tell me happy birthday. He said he didn't because I was in a bad mood. I was like yea, because I was stranded for several hours the day before with our kids while you ignored me.
This was the final blow.... He left the house last month to go drinking with his friends. He came home drunk. I was asleep in the bed at first. He came into the room, poured our daughter's juice on me for no reason at all. I got up, I didn't even say anything, to go get a towel. He got angry accusing me of cheating. I went back upstairs and locked the bedroom door. He burst the door down and completely ruined the frame and just started acting crazy. Yelling, cursing at me, for things that I don't even know about. I had to call my dad and sister over there because he was acting so crazy. He left that night and I haven't allowed him to come back.
Since he's been gone, he keeps saying he wants to come back home. I won't allow him to. I told him that he's always in his hometown and can't seem to choose between being with his family or his friends, so I made the decision for him. So now he accuses me of cheating, calls me out of my name, and is just plain evil. I told him that if we even decided to work things out, we have to go to marriage counseling, he has to go to church and we have to start going out on dates again before he will be allowed to come home. He said no and that I was asking for too much.
I say all this to ask this..... How do I get over this? I'm really hurt that he can just turn everything around like it's my fault. I'm so tired of being lied to. How can I make my husband respect me? I've prayed about this but I'm so angry. And the fact that he shows no remorse and is now saying I have a boyfriend and that's why I won't allow him to come home just angers me more. I don't have a boyfriend and don't even have the time if I wanted one. I'm always at home with our children. I don't want to but I feel like divorce may be the answer. My dad says pray because only God knows what the future holds. It hurts that we haven't even been married 2 years and are headed to divorce. He said he's over it. His behavior has come as a total shock to me. i would have never thought he would be this way. I feel as though he deceived me about who he was until we got married then let his true colors show.
Our marriage has really suffered and it's like he takes no responsibility for this or even shows any genuine remorse. Last fall, he took a job in FL and things seemed to get a little better but they staying out and not coming home had not stopped. He will go, not answer the phone, not respond to a text or anything. I just stopped calling and texting. He quit his job in January without even discussing it with me and not having another job lined up. A very well paying job at that. So now I have been left with the finances all dependent upon my income and it has been difficult. Since January, it's been awful. He won't clean, check our kids' homework, wash clothes, fold clothes or even come to our kids sporting activities. He will go to his hometown again almost every weekend and not return home for several days. I find it so disrespectful and every time he comes home he tells me it won't happen again and it happens the very next weekend. Also, that woman lives up there and he goes on and on about how he's not seeing her. I said then why can't you answer the phone or text? He says he doesn't want to hear me fuss so he just ignores everything. This has been going on all year. One day, he didn't even pick up our kids from school because he was still up there hanging out with his friends. Our money is tight and I think it's very selfish of him to use an entire tank of gas to just hang out and drive around all weekend when I'm going to have to fill the car up again.
The day before my birthday a couple months ago, I was driving back from church with our kids. I ran over something and had a blow out while it was storming. He was of course in his hometown hanging out. I called him many times and he ignored all of my calls. I'm out in the middle of nowhere, stuck with my kids in a storm. I was furious! When he finally came home, the next day, he said he didn't know I had a blowout and that's why he didn't answer the phone. I was like how can you know anything when you don't answer the phone?! He didn't even tell me happy birthday. I know he couldn't afford to buy anything but he didn't even tell me happy birthday. He said he didn't because I was in a bad mood. I was like yea, because I was stranded for several hours the day before with our kids while you ignored me.
This was the final blow.... He left the house last month to go drinking with his friends. He came home drunk. I was asleep in the bed at first. He came into the room, poured our daughter's juice on me for no reason at all. I got up, I didn't even say anything, to go get a towel. He got angry accusing me of cheating. I went back upstairs and locked the bedroom door. He burst the door down and completely ruined the frame and just started acting crazy. Yelling, cursing at me, for things that I don't even know about. I had to call my dad and sister over there because he was acting so crazy. He left that night and I haven't allowed him to come back.
Since he's been gone, he keeps saying he wants to come back home. I won't allow him to. I told him that he's always in his hometown and can't seem to choose between being with his family or his friends, so I made the decision for him. So now he accuses me of cheating, calls me out of my name, and is just plain evil. I told him that if we even decided to work things out, we have to go to marriage counseling, he has to go to church and we have to start going out on dates again before he will be allowed to come home. He said no and that I was asking for too much.
I say all this to ask this..... How do I get over this? I'm really hurt that he can just turn everything around like it's my fault. I'm so tired of being lied to. How can I make my husband respect me? I've prayed about this but I'm so angry. And the fact that he shows no remorse and is now saying I have a boyfriend and that's why I won't allow him to come home just angers me more. I don't have a boyfriend and don't even have the time if I wanted one. I'm always at home with our children. I don't want to but I feel like divorce may be the answer. My dad says pray because only God knows what the future holds. It hurts that we haven't even been married 2 years and are headed to divorce. He said he's over it. His behavior has come as a total shock to me. i would have never thought he would be this way. I feel as though he deceived me about who he was until we got married then let his true colors show.
