Marital Rape

[Armoured]

The story was about Gilgamesh and Noah, Not Gilgamesh and Moses. Neither one of them had anything to do with Gobekli Tepe. As least you remember some of the key words so you are doing good in that regard.

It could have been about Gilgamesh and my favourite Martian, for all the substantiation provided.

 

[squirrel123]

The problem with the drug-rape claim is the doctors almost never find any trace of any of the known rape drugs.

That is one reason why rohypnol is so popular - it's near impossible to detect once the effects have worn off...

 

[SnowyMacie]

My basic position is "if you truly care for someone, who should you ever want to have sex with that person without their full and enthusiastic consent?"

I agree completely, and especially in that original story with sleep, he was less having sex with her but more simply just masturbating using her body. I'd also argue that even with the wife's consent, many men are simply just masturbating using her body. There are plenty of good reasons to both have and not have sex, and if one spouse cannot control their urges, they should seek help for them.

 

[joshua 1 9]

It could have been about Gilgamesh and my favourite Martian, for all the substantiation provided.

Maybe this book will help you to figure it out.
Keep working hard and study and someday it will all make sense to you.

 

[Papias]

Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
.......
From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.
Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

According to a literal reading of the various bibles, the woman is the property of the man (that's even in the 10 commandments, where a woman is listed as less valuable than a house, but more valuable than a donkey), and the scripture is clear in many places on this. So according to the scripture, accusing a man of raping his wife was just as absurd as accusing him of stealing money from his own wallet.

This is why for nearly all of our history since then, men were allowed to rape their wives. It was literally the law of the land here in the United States too, until the 60's and 70's when the laws were changed. Until then, a wife going to the police with any and all proof of her husband raping her had no case, because "marital rape" was perfectly legal.

I think that this is another place where we should go beyond a literal reading and use our minds to reject the idea of women (indeed, anyone) as property. I'm glad that our laws have rejected the scripture here and outlawed men raping their wives - just as I'm glad our laws have rejected scripture and outlawed slavery.

In Christ-

Papias

 

[blackribbon]

For women to have good sex, you have to wait until their bodies are ready and receptive...it is a physical thing. I believe that marital rape includes having sex with a women who is not physically ready so it hurts and can physically harm her by tearing tissue, bruising, and such. It becomes self focused on the man and the woman is just an object and not a partner or even a participant. This is harmful both physically to the woman (basically a physical assault, not much different than hitting her face) and it will forever damage her ability to trust him as a partner. There is nothing godly in this kind of 'coming together'.

 

[Armoured]

Maybe this book will help you to figure it out.
Keep working hard and study and someday it will all make sense to you.

So another irrelevant posting instead of providing a requested citation? Cool.

 

[Stan Ley]

I think that marriage is a sexist institution. I don't understand why people want it, especially women...

What about same sex marriage?

 

[Rajni]

I agree with you. People make other people divorcing an excuse for their reluctance to marry.

Not that an excuse for such is really needed.
But it is certainly a good explanation for why one might be
reluctant to marry.

-

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

What about same sex marriage?

I think the phrase "marriage equality" is an oxymoron. There's other things that gay rights campaigners should be advocating for in terms of social recognition "marriage" is a very weird and to be frank only very recent one.

 

[PloverWing]

I avoid it too. Not because divorce is expensive, the only thing I value is my books and my wine collection and I doubt that anyone will want to split that in the middle, I think that marriage really exploits women. Relationships can have various appearances, by and large they can also be quite egalitarian. As soon as a couple gets married though, women tend to accept a highly domestic life. I really despise this as a feminist.

Marriage often goes this way, but it doesn't have to, if both people consciously work at continuing to be egalitarian. It's very easy to fall into the patterns that our parents and grandparents followed, but we don't have to. The husband can work at making sure he's doing significant housework and child care. The wife can work at making sure she still has a life outside the home, keeping her job skills up-to-date and so on.

You make a good point, that marriage is often very hard on women, but marriage can be made better.

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

Marriage often goes this way, but it doesn't have to, if both people consciously work at continuing to be egalitarian. It's very easy to fall into the patterns that our parents and grandparents followed, but we don't have to. The husband can work at making sure he's doing significant housework and child care. The wife can work at making sure she still has a life outside the home, keeping her job skills up-to-date and so on.

You make a good point, that marriage is often very hard on women, but marriage can be made better.

Sure, the baby and bathwater, I just see more relationships as being egalitarian and when marriage enters into the equation they fall into the old patterns. This is why I'm more inclined to think "relationships" are the baby and "marriage" is the bathwater. ;-)

 

[michellemariebru]

I avoid it too. Not because divorce is expensive, the only thing I value is my books and my wine collection and I doubt that anyone will want to split that in the middle, I think that marriage really exploits women. Relationships can have various appearances, by and large they can also be quite egalitarian. As soon as a couple gets married though, women tend to accept a highly domestic life. I really despise this as a feminist.

If you don't mind me asking, did you decide not to get married?

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

If you don't mind me asking, did you decide not to get married?

Yes. I'd prefer to enter into a civil union.

 

[Dave-W]

That's just stupid, you don't have to penetrate to rape someone, ..... we can't exactly go by what some states use as definition.

This is the FBI's definition of "rape" which was adopted at the start of 2014:

"the penetration of a body part, object, or sex organ of another person without the consent of the victim."

That is not just "some state." That is the law of the USA.

The word is related to the name of the sword "rapier" used in sword fighting. A sword "penetrates."

 

[Cute Tink]

This is the FBI's definition of "rape" which was adopted at the start of 2014:

"the penetration of a body part, object, or sex organ of another person without the consent of the victim."

That is not just "some state." That is the law of the USA.

The word is related to the name of the sword "rapier" used in sword fighting. A sword "penetrates."

The FBI's definition of rape doesn't define rape state by state. It would be rare for a rape to qualify as a federal crime.

The FBI might be providing that for Uniform Crime Reporting, but that does not define what rape is for states. A person can be charged with a rape in their state that might not be considered rape to the FBI or other states.

California, for example, considers rape to be sexual intercourse without the consent of one of the participants.

 

[Dave-W]

California, for example, considers rape to be sexual intercourse without the consent of one of the participants.

Are you sure they still officially call it "rape?" Or have they adopted a different term for legal purposes?

 

[Cute Tink]

Are you sure they still officially call it "rape?" Or have they adopted a different term for legal purposes?

It falls under a broader category of "sexual assault", which can be a lot of different things, but specifically rape is defined as sexual intercourse without consent.

But I see no purpose in quoting the legal definition as an excuse why something is or isn't technically marital rape. Seems like the common usage of the word is sufficient for the purposes of this discussion.

Frankly I don't care whether something is legally considered rape. If you are having sex with someone and they are not consenting or not capable of consent, I would consider that rape. Trying to avoid calling it that by technicality, seems to be little more than an attempt to justify the actions as something other than what they are.

 

[wndwalkr99]

I think that marriage is a sexist institution. I don't understand why people want it, especially women...

Can you elaborate? My marriage is decidedly non-sexist - at least, I think so.

 

[farout]

I just saw a thread post on the forum, and it reminded me of this subject that was in the news a couple months back. In the summer, the story surfaced of Mandy Boardman, who was raped by her husband of seven years, countless times, while she was asleep. If your not familiar with the story, here is an article from Time Magazine.
http://time.com/3976180/marital-rape/
After this story surfaced, it triggered a lot of debate. Many Christians were saying that there is no such thing as marital rape.
Then in October, ( I believe his name is Larry Solomon) wrote a post on his website and it got some attention. Some people thought it was extreme and insane,other people agreed with it 100 %
Here is the article he wrote http://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015...joy-sex-that-is-grudgingly-given-by-his-wife/
^ when you get to the website, scroll down to see the article

-Basically, he says if your wife is having sex with you grudgingly, look at her body and not her face during sex.

From his perspective, he is saying there is no such thing as marital rape, and that the bible states it's a sin to deprive your spouse.


Is it possible to rape your spouse?
Or is rape non-existant in marriage,
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.


I am just curious as to what everyone's thoughts are on this subject.

T
There have been times when me or my wife were really not interested, but as a matter of love we did it. However I am sure it was more than likely she did it more for me. NEVER is force to be a part of marriage. Making sure that each person is pleasured is so very important for an enduring marriage.

All too often young boys get hooked on these magazines that give completely false information giving impossible expectations. Sadly a large percentage of males of all ages are addicted inappropriate content, the results are a secret imaginary life which destroys a future marriage or one that already exists. This is a huge problem over 50% of men are addicted to inappropriate content.

Women of all ages should make sure that the man they are in love with, are not addicted to inappropriate content. Honest open talk about expectations is not unrealistic. As couples learn about each other in love making it is important to know many men do not know how to bring genuine fulfillment to their bride. If a male has been reading inappropriate content they have not a clue as to the real joy in being patient, and learning together what real sexual fulfillment for both really is.

sadly many people getting married today have been with several others, and they have very mixed up ideas of what sex is really about. Genuine love making takes a lifetime and is not learned in a honeymoon or a year, like any real art, it takes a time after time to really get to be a fine artists.

In a true loving husband there is no such thing as force. With each good experience building on the next, the trust that comes in knowing you are "safe" with your husband, allows for the times when he desires you, but you just are not quite there, but willing. But a real loving husband knows when his brides is really not interested he is ok with that.