I've been a member for 4 years and I don't have much to show for it

[Javanwarbler]

I have been here that long but most of you probably don't even know me. It's really embarrassing. Here is an example of how bad depression can get... I feel so imobilized by it that I can hardly reach out of myself to get more active in a good forum such as this one! I should have been so much more involved but I feel so bad about myself and what I haven't accomplished in life given the 41 years I"ve been on the planet. I can't get peace from God and I still wonder if I',m really saved or not. I mean i gave my heart to Christ in 1992 and I was a lot more open to God then than now it seems.

 

[alien444]

Hello, I hope you don't mind me posting but your post was compelling. I am not a Christian, so I have found that some aren't interested in my advice. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life (I am 41 as well) and it has also held me back from accomplishing the things that I wanted to accomplish in life. What we do in life however, can't be judged based on what others have done. I know it sounds trite, but I try to remind myself of the insignificance of my problems in the greater scheme of the universe, as well as remind myself of the things that I have (and of course the antidepressants help a little). How about your family and friends--do you have any important relationships in your life? These relationships are simply the most important accomplishments. At the end of life, it will be these relationships that we treasure the most. I hope you start feeling better and if you post, I will respond.

 

[Criada]

Depression is a horrible illness - I'm sorry you're struggling so much.
I know it's hard to reach out, but this is a very safe place and most of us here understand how bad depression can make you feel.
I'm praying for you, and my PM box is open if you want to talk.
Remember, however you feel, God's love for you is unchanging, and He is always there for you.

 

[Jeshu]

I have been here that long but most of you probably don't even know me. It's really embarrassing. Here is an example of how bad depression can get... I feel so imobilized by it that I can hardly reach out of myself to get more active in a good forum such as this one! I should have been so much more involved but I feel so bad about myself and what I haven't accomplished in life given the 41 years I"ve been on the planet. I can't get peace from God and I still wonder if I',m really saved or not. I mean i gave my heart to Christ in 1992 and I was a lot more open to God then than now it seems.

If you gave your heart to God then you are saved, please don't ever doubt that, it will only increase the pain. God doesn't just drop us because we are ill. THe opposite is true.

Depression is a horrible affliction, and it can really seem like God isn't there for us.

However depression lies to our heart and mind all the time, that is the problem with depression, you can't trust what you are feeling or thinking any more.

I also suffered from major depression for many years, and often turned suicidal. I found that when I had faith in Christ's love then things are much better than if I was faithless.

Faith in god's love gives us hope, and hope in God doesn't disappoint us.

I pray and hope that you dare to put your faith in God's love.

Honest it makes a world of difference.




Way Out Of Depression

How can we have meaning if we don't love?
everything else is but a clinging cymbal,
a sounding gong!
...of no importance in the scheme of things,
a loving faith takes us Home to Him!
He who is love Himself!
Hide in His love!
..and love His children,
and all Creation too!
and find a way out,
of this hell hole we've been in.
His love the way out of depression.

 

[ToBeBlessed]

If you've given your heart to Christ, then you are saved, so do not doubt that anymore.

Many of us look back at times in our lives when the depression overtook us and we did little but survive, and there is usually a regret there that we didn't do more or were not stronger or that we let it beat us.

The thing is, tomorrow is a new day!

So you can always make a better choice tomorrow. You can start doing little things that after a while will make a difference in your life. God knows your heart and he values your motives and how hard you try. Many others say that giving or doing something for someone else helps them. Bringing someone else a moment or time of joy.

Remember Jesus loves you and will never forsake you. He's your best friend and he knows and values your heart. Be loving to yourself as well as others.

I'll be praying for you also. Keep posting here, making friends.

Have a great rest of the week and do something kind for someone.

 

[TomCS]

This link will tell you how you can know for sure whether or not you are really saved.

The Gospel of Christ (Enjoy The Bible Ministires)

 

[Javanwarbler]

Thank you Criada! I really appreciate your encouragement and prayers! Depression has robbed me of so much in life and I will still be a member here as this forum has been a real blessing even though I haven't been that active.

 

[Javanwarbler]

If you've given your heart to Christ, then you are saved, so do not doubt that anymore.

Many of us look back at times in our lives when the depression overtook us and we did little but survive, and there is usually a regret there that we didn't do more or were not stronger or that we let it beat us.

The thing is, tomorrow is a new day!

So you can always make a better choice tomorrow. You can start doing little things that after a while will make a difference in your life. God knows your heart and he values your motives and how hard you try. Many others say that giving or doing something for someone else helps them. Bringing someone else a moment or time of joy.

Remember Jesus loves you and will never forsake you. He's your best friend and he knows and values your heart. Be loving to yourself as well as others.

I'll be praying for you also. Keep posting here, making friends.

Have a great rest of the week and do something kind for someone.

I will write more to respond to what you said here but it really made me think. Every time I do something for someone else it helps and i do feel better. It's embarrassing because I'm naturally so very selfish and introverted. I made a card for my mom that I think she will appreciate! I will post more soon and thank you!

 

[Javanwarbler]

This link will tell you how you can know for sure whether or not you are really saved.

The Gospel of Christ (Enjoy The Bible Ministires)

Hi Tom! Thank you for the link! Truth is I have never felt sure of my salvation 100% because of all my sin that I've continued to do after giving my life to Him. It has always been a source of dispair but the link here has given me some insight into the situation. I can't right now, but I'm going to respond more later about it!

 

[ToBeBlessed]

I will write more to respond to what you said here but it really made me think. Every time I do something for someone else it helps and i do feel better. It's embarrassing because I'm naturally so very selfish and introverted. I made a card for my mom that I think she will appreciate! I will post more soon and thank you!

Good for you! Remember Jesus loves you and He loves your heart.

 

[Javanwarbler]

If you gave your heart to God then you are saved, please don't ever doubt that, it will only increase the pain. God doesn't just drop us because we are ill. THe opposite is true.
I often feel God is mad at me because I mess up with the same sins over and over and i know it but don't do anything about it. And the guilt alone is immobilizing. But something just keeps me from not giving up and least I hope it's Jesus Himself!

Depression is a horrible affliction, and it can really seem like God isn't there for us.
Yeah, I struggle with this all the time!
However depression lies to our heart and mind all the time, that is the problem with depression, you can't trust what you are feeling or thinking any more.

I also suffered from major depression for many years, and often turned suicidal. I found that when I had faith in Christ's love then things are much better than if I was faithless.
I'm sorry you had to go through all that! I have been suicidal too but I think of how it would affect my relationship with God and my family and it always stops me in my tracks! Do you still have depression?
Faith in god's love gives us hope, and hope in God doesn't disappoint us.

I pray and hope that you dare to put your faith in God's love.

Honest it makes a world of difference.




Way Out Of Depression

How can we have meaning if we don't love?
everything else is but a clinging cymbal,
a sounding gong!
...of no importance in the scheme of things,
a loving faith takes us Home to Him!
He who is love Himself!
Hide in His love!
..and love His children,
and all Creation too!
and find a way out,
of this hell hole we've been in.
His love the way out of depression.

Thank you so much for your encouraging kind words Jeshu! Just knowing some people care lifts me up a bit!

 

[Javanwarbler]

Hello, I hope you don't mind me posting but your post was compelling. I am not a Christian, so I have found that some aren't interested in my advice. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life (I am 41 as well) and it has also held me back from accomplishing the things that I wanted to accomplish in life. What we do in life however, can't be judged based on what others have done. I know it sounds trite, but I try to remind myself of the insignificance of my problems in the greater scheme of the universe, as well as remind myself of the things that I have (and of course the antidepressants help a little). How about your family and friends--do you have any important relationships in your life? These relationships are simply the most important accomplishments. At the end of life, it will be these relationships that we treasure the most. I hope you start feeling better and if you post, I will respond.

Hi Alien! What you wrote here was very compelling to me as well and I will respond in depth to what you said when I have more time! I am in the process of getting married, moving, and starting a new job in a new town. But I very much appreciated what you said and I think you're advice is great! It doesn't matter to me that you are an atheist. I respect and admire you even more that you took the time to share!
I have a wonderful fiance and my mom and dad are pretty supportive but trouble is we all live far away as I moved away years ago to try and 'develop myself' away from my parents because for so long I didn't feel like a real person and independent. You are so right in that the quality of relationships we have with people matter most in this life, though I believe ultimately, our relationship with God, specifically Jesus, is central, and the key to us humans in knowing how to live and relate to each other. I dont' mean to be and won't get preachy about the christian side of things though I can't help it sometimes as it's the most important thing in my life!
Depression is such a robber of our souls and i've had it too for all my adult life and it seems i probably did even further back. Yet it's so true that even when you think of other cultures on this same planet it helps put some of this in prospective! One reason I'd really like to be fluent in another language beside my native one! I will post again soon.
I'm really glad you wrote !

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you so much for your encouraging kind words Jeshu! Just knowing some people care lifts me up a bit!

Have a look what God writes in the book of Ezekiel dear sister.

Ezekiel 36:24-31

“‘For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and make it plentiful and will not bring famine upon you. I will increase the fruit of the trees and the crops of the field, so that you will no longer suffer disgrace among the nations because of famine. Then you will remember your evil ways and wicked deeds, and you will loathe yourselves for your sins and detestable practices.

I've got a depressive illness, so depressive times keep coming, however The Lord saved me from my sins.

I used to feel guilty, ashamed and fearful about my sins, but now my sins bring me a thankful heart for I know that Christ's blood has me covered. It is amazing grace to know that our sins have been forgiven us, it takes the disgrace away and stops the misery. God build me a thankful heart for I know that even if my sins are red like scarlet He will wash them whiter than snow.

So please also accept God's grace in your life over your sins and know that if you have faith in Christ's sacrifice all your many sins have been forgiven you. God's grace sure makes short work of those negative feelings pestering us when we are in our depressive moods and makes our hearts thankful and loving instead.

The greatest thing is that a thankful God loving heart has few trouble with sins. So please accept God's grace in your life and stop heeding the accuser, it is he that makes us feel bad about our sins without changing anything in our hearts so that we become bondaged to our wrong doing but Christ's grace sets us free.

Be of good courage, Jesus has overcome depression as well, and you can gain the benefits by have faith in the forgiveness of sins.

Peace


Twice Blinded

What destroyer, where would he be?
The deadly snake bite I didn't see!
Still part of myself was dragged away,
held captive there by wicked sway,
all the lies sown in my soul,
day by day taking control,
feeding my life lies and misery,
my good times became history.

Bringing thoughts and feelings around,
which are in no way sound,
rather inner kings cruel and strong,
those worldly ways so very wrong,
raising Babylon in all her might,
holding me captive in my fright,
denying grace to rule my ways,
mocking God in His face.

Horse hooves trampling my soul,
grass-hoppers devouring all,
scorpion stings stinging,
famine upon famine bringing,
brimstone burn everything to ash,
massive hailstones me to smash,
the darkness ever growing close,
for the goats got me by the nose.

So working for another's bread,
God's loving truth I forget,
thinking my world would always stink,
driving my good life to the brink,
yet there at the bottom of my might,
I finally began to see the light..,
..Jesus, whom I bring so much grief,
when I have that liar as my chief!

And so The Truth did shine on me!
His Spirit alive in my heart to see!
Oh what blinding light I saw there?
God's goodness displayed everywhere!
His love washing me white as snow!
His loving truth inside my life to flow!
Oh Lamb of God forever to be praised!
For from the dead I have been raised!

 

[miss-a]

Javenwarbler,

Many people look at this forum and do not participate. Sometimes sitting back and reading is what is needed, sometimes not reading the forum is what's needed. We go through different phases. Now maybe you are being called to step in and participate more, but that doesn't mean the other way was wrong, just different. It's so easy to judge ourselves as having done it wrong when we've done the exact right thing. The Lord reminds me of this from time to time. So now perhaps He's using me to remind you.

Either way, I'm glad to see you back.
Blessings and prayers,
a