is it wrong to live with someone you're not married to?

[jazzywriter91]

Seriously, this acting as if making the choice to stop having sex because of her personal convictions is somehow destroying him (because, obviously, a man cannot function aside from his genitalia)... is ridiculous AND offensive to the male gender.

Thank you.

 

[iambren]

I'm not trying to pick on you,Jazzy. I commend you for choosing to live a righteous life. My main point is that TWO people were hurt here. I don't think that even men(yes,even men) can be reduced to mere genitalia. He must have cared for you emotionally;hope it works out for the both of you.


The bone I have to pick with many other almost identical threads is the sexist way a woman is sexually expressive with her man,she decides to go clean,everyone says leave him and quit sex. That's well and good but the poor guy who's made an emotional investment is glossed over like chopped liver. He's a human being with feelings and should be considered IMHO.

 

[jazzywriter91]

I'm not trying to pick on you,Jazzy. I commend you for choosing to live a righteous life. My main point is that TWO people were hurt here. I don't think that even men(yes,even men) can be reduced to mere genitalia. He must have cared for you emotionally;hope it works out for the both of you.


The bone I have to pick with many other almost identical threads is the sexist way a woman is sexually expressive with her man,she decides to go clean,everyone says leave him and quit sex. That's well and good but the poor guy who's made an emotional investment is glossed over like chopped liver. He's a human being with feelings and should be considered IMHO.

It felt like you was attacking me because I know he has emotions and I know he cared. You assumed things and you didn't even know the entire story. That wasn't fare to me. But it's okay and thanks.

 

[Bella Vita]

You did the right thing by breaking it off. You will be so much happier finding a man who loves the lord like you do. When you love God is becomes a part of everything serving in a church finding Christian friends and support. How you want to raise your children in the faith. Your political believes and how you vote. You need to see eye to eye on all these things before marriage and your faith is a huge part of how you view all of those things.

Right now I would suggest finding a church you can get plugged into and start meeting people a lot of churches have singles groups. Don't go there looking for love but just friends who share your faith and passions. God will provide you with a Christian husband when the time is right. Keep your head up I know what you did was not easy but you will be rewarded for it later.

Another thing about finding a man who is also a Christian is that he will understand and respect your boundaries in not wanting to have sex before marriage. =]

 

[jazzywriter91]

You did the right thing by breaking it off. You will be so much happier finding a man who loves the lord like you do. When you love God is becomes a part of everything serving in a church finding Christian friends and support. How you want to raise your children in the faith. Your political believes and how you vote. You need to see eye to eye on all these things before marriage and your faith is a huge part of how you view all of those things.

Right now I would suggest finding a church you can get plugged into and start meeting people a lot of churches have singles groups. Don't go there looking for love but just friends who share your faith and passions. God will provide you with a Christian husband when the time is right. Keep your head up I know what you did was not easy but you will be rewarded for it later.

Another thing about finding a man who is also a Christian is that he will understand and respect your boundaries in not wanting to have sex before marriage. =]

But I don't want children and I have a church I used to attend but I stopped. I really liked it. I will start going back there.

 

[jazzywriter91]

I am going to date my boyfriend again. I am going to make this work. He is fine with me being celibate, we both don't want children so if and when we do get married we won't have to worry about how to raise our children, and he is okay with me not living with him until marriage. He supports me going to church, reading, the Bible, and he knows that God comes first in my life. He can handle my extreme emotions and we have a lot in common. So I see no need to not date him. We still act like we are dating so it's a bit confusing. So I will date him again if he wants me back as well. I'm not sure if I made the right choice by breaking up with him

 

[Inkachu]

You may not want children right now, but darlin, you are SO young, you don't know how you will feel in five or ten years. Be very careful about saying "never" when you're only 23 years old. On top of that, plenty of children have come along to couples who did not plan for them

The "need" to not date him is because God says not to. And God doesn't give rules without good reasons. You don't seem willing to accept this, though, and that's your choice. You're making a mistake, and time will reveal that to you. I wish you the best.

 

[jazzywriter91]

You may not want children right now, but darlin, you are SO young, you don't know how you will feel in five or ten years. Be very careful about saying "never" when you're only 23 years old. On top of that, plenty of children have come along to couples who did not plan for them

The "need" to not date him is because God says not to. And God doesn't give rules without good reasons. You don't seem willing to accept this, though, and that's your choice. You're making a mistake, and time will reveal that to you. I wish you the best.

This is just really hard for me to accept this and no offense but just because I'm young doesn't mean that I don't know what I want. I have several reasons why I don't want children. This just doesn't make sense to me why I shouldn't date him again. I guess this will be one of the biggest thing that I am struggling with at the moment.

 

[jazzywriter91]

I will just have to think about this a lot more

 

[spr]

Why break up with the guy just to date him again. Going from fornication to missionary dating is an improvement. But the end of missionary dating is an unholy union. He may even go to church with you and say he believes Jesus is the son of God to get his way for awhile, and then recant when it suits him. When life presents him with more alluring opportunities, opportunities in which continuing to profess Christ will prove disadvantageous.

So now is the time to think of who you are rather than who he is. If you love someone who thinks God to be a "spaghetti monster in the sky" as the atheists say, then by association that is exactly the honor in which you hold the Most High.

 

[jazzywriter91]

Why break up with the guy just to date him again. Going from fornication to missionary dating is an improvement. But the end of missionary dating is an unholy union. He may even go to church with you and say he believes Jesus is the son of God to get his way for awhile, and then recant when it suits him. When life presents him with more alluring opportunities, opportunities in which continuing to profess Christ will prove disadvantageous.

So now is the time to think of who you are rather than who he is. If you love someone who thinks God to be a "spaghetti monster in the sky" as the atheists say, then by association that is exactly the honor in which you hold the Most High.

I didn't say we were dating again this is just very difficult for me. I will try my best not to date him. I understand the points it's just so hard. I know being a Christian will not be easy and sometimes I will have to give up things I like. Sadly enough I falter and I want things I know God doesn't want me to have. I don't know if this make sense or not

 

[Inkachu]

I didn't say we were dating again...

I am going to date my boyfriend again.

You are SO inconsistent and fickle with this. Which just reinforces to me that you should stay single and work on growing up a bit more.

 

[jazzywriter91]

You are SO inconsistent and fickle with this. Which just reinforces to me that you should stay single and work on growing up a bit more.

Thanks for implying that I'm immature. You don't know what I deal with I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar, Shcizoaffective, and I deal with anxiety. So don't say that to me just because this is one of the hard choices I'm trying to work though. These things affect my life and my decision making.

 

[Messy]

-

 

[jazzywriter91]

God healed me from borderline, but only when I gave up on a guy and really put Him on the first place. Who knows, maybe some day it will work out with us, until then I'll just pray and only when I see a real miraculous change and God says yes I'll date again and in an open place please. I know how hard it is, I'll pray for you both. God only wants the best for you both, that's why He has all those rules, I found out the wrong way.

My mental health has nothing to do with a guy. For you to even imply that is completely wrong. Mental health is just like having physical problems or illnesses. What you just put lets me know that no you have no idea what it's like

 

[jazzywriter91]

I am done with this site. So far I just feel attacked and judged or having others assume or imply things about me without finding out the facts. Don't bother responding to this anymore because I will not respond. If I could delete this account completely I would.