Is it moral to tell a fat girl that she's fat?

[bhsmte]

Biological reasons. They find us less attractive, probably more useless.. etc.

I know several attractive women, who are married to short guys.

 

[grasping the after wind]

.

"A bunch of people." Why do people on this board have absolutely no concept of research and/or statistical analysis? Just zero. It's scary.

What is perhaps not scary but certainly sad is that you seem to think that a statistical measure of how any people hold an opinion turns that opinion into an objective truth.

 

[Hetta]

.

What is perhaps not scary but certainly sad is that you seem to think that a statistical measure of how any people hold an opinion turns that opinion into an objective truth.

I'm just going to leave it until you take some stats classes.

 

[MehGuy]

Good, this is what I suspected, was the case. So then the "attacks" are by people, on the internet mainly?

Currently yes. It doesn't make it any less hurtful. It's not my fault people won't insult me in real life.

That is true, but most adults, do not so regularly, or try to justify that behaviour.

I am not justifying my behavior of insulting innocent people, I am simply stating everyone does it one time or another. I don't make a habit of it, and I've already said it's fair game for these women to insult me back. In fact it's happened before. They make fun of my height and I don't respond back because I feel like I deserved that insult.

Why would you think, that most women, we view men as dirt deep down? That's preposterous.

Biology. Thankfully human beings view many people as dirt, so being a short man won't mean you're alone.

If it's sad, that an innocent person, is in the crosshairs, why put them there? It's your choice, yes? You are responsible for your own actions, yes?

I don't know how else to solve the problem. I have thought about it before, and I've come to the conclusion that's it's a necessary evil.

How is your "fighting back" on the internet, in any way, helping other men, who are short? Especially, if the people, that you decide to insult / attack, have done nothing, at all to you? To me, going around, lashing out for revenge, could only damage the way shorter men, are perceived.

Napoleon complex? I find the accusations charming personally. Lol.

And yes it does help shorter men. Women then know that there are consequences to their actions, and it deters future behavior. I have seen the effects myself. Women like insulting shorter men, but they'll curb their behavior if they know there is a reasonable chance shorter men will strike back with weight and youth comments.

I care about the feelings, of shorter men, yes. My boyfriend, I have four years with, is several inches shorter, than I am. He's nothing, at all, like you. He doesn't define himself, by his height.

That's nice to hear. I don't define myself by my height either. Other than a few instances in my life, I tend to forget I am a shorter guy. At 5'7" some people don't even view me as very short. Certainly not tall, but nothing circus freak worthy.

Haven't you said, you've been diagnosed, with BDD? What does the psychiatrist, treating you, advise you to do?

I have been tested a lot since I was a kid. The mental health workers commented that my mind was strange and there was something off about me, but thus far they could never reach any diagnosis. I personally use the BDD label for myself because I feel it fits. At the end of the day it is only a self diagnosis. But I think it's pretty accurate. Before I ever heard of BDD I came up with my own illness which I called hyper emotional sadomasochism and pretty much all the symptoms I listed matched BDD perfectly. Lol.

edit- sorry when you said BDD did you mean BPD? Because in our past chats we talked about BPD, I never mentioned BDD. I don't think I have that, my summary of my looks is probably pretty realistic.

 

[MehGuy]

I know several attractive women, who are married to short guys.

Yes. My male cousins are short and they're married to attractive women. And many of the women who like me are attractive. A shorter man can't compete on the same level as a tall guy, but most of us can do reasonably well. There are studies that indicate height doesn't hurt you too much unless you're 5'5" and under so I'm safe in that regard. Still, there are many women who find it a turn off, which I can respect. I don't like heavier women so it is fair to have standards, but that gives them no reason to mock us. And if they do mock us, at least allow us to mock them in return.

 

[grasping the after wind]

I'm just going to leave it until you take some stats classes.

Been there, done that back in the 90s when I was getting my Masters Degree. I seriously doubt that statistics have become a magical formula for changing the subjective into the objective since then. Statistics have absolutely nothing to do with whether a thing is subjective or objective. A thing is either objectively true or it is not, there is no room for opinion and statistical studies of how many people agree with a subjective statement cannot make a subjective statement into an objective statement. . If I say " Fully abled human beings have two eyes." That is an objective statement. If you disagree with it you are simply wrong and I can tell you with absolute surety that you are mistaken. If I say 'Blue eyes are more attractive than brown eyes." That is a subjective statement and no matter how many people agree with me it is still a subjective statement because it cannot be proven to be universally true.

 

[Blue Wren]

Currently yes. It doesn't make it any less hurtful. It's not my fault people won't insult me in real life.

You make it sound, like you would like, for more people to insult you, in real life? I would think, you'd be happy, they don't insult you now. On the internet, most people wouldn't even know you are a short man, if you didn't constantly bring it up.

I am not justifying my behavior of insulting innocent people, I am simply stating everyone does it one time or another. I don't make a habit of it, and I've already said it's fair game for these women to insult me back. In fact it's happened before. They make fun of my height and I don't respond back because I feel like I deserved that insult.

I don't think most people have the same mentality about this, as you.

Biology. Thankfully human beings view many people as dirt, so being a short man won't mean you're alone.

I don't think nearly as many people, view short men, as dirt, as you seem to think they do.

I don't know how else to solve the problem. I have thought about it before, and I've come to the conclusion that's it's a necessary evil.

You could seek therapy, to make better peace, with yourself, perhaps. Instead of having this strange revenge mentality.

And yes it does help shorter men. Women then know that there are consequences to their actions, and it deters future behavior. I have seen the effects myself. Women like insulting shorter men, but they'll curb their behavior if they know there is a reasonable chance shorter men will strike back with weight and youth comments.

Rubbish. It doesn't help shorter men, as in plural, whatsoever. Perhaps, it helps you, to make you feel better, temporarily. You are not a social justice warrior, for all shorter men. I very much doubt, any of them, want you, to use them, as a justification, for your behaviour. It's absurd, to think that your behaviour, benefits anyone, deters anything. You've said, most of the insults, come from the internet. I don't think, attacking women, for their age, weight, ect, on this forum, all because one person might have said she prefers taller men, or whatever, will have any impact, anywhere else.

That's nice to hear. I don't define myself by my height either. Other than a few instances in my life, I tend to forget I am a shorter guy. At 5'7" some people don't even view me as very short. Certainly not tall, but nothing circus freak worthy.

It's strange you so often bring up your height, on this forum, if you don't think it defines you. It's good, though, that you don't think it defines you, as it shouldn't. 5'7 truly isn't that short.

I have been tested a lot since I was a kid. The mental health workers commented that my mind was strange and there was something off about me, but thus far they could never reach any diagnosis. I personally use the BDD label for myself because I feel it fits. At the end of the day it is only a self diagnosis. But I think it's pretty accurate. Before I ever heard of BDD I came up with my own illness which I called hyper emotional sadomasochism and pretty much all the symptoms I listed matched BDD perfectly. Lol.

As an adult, have you sought any professional help?

 

[MehGuy]

You make it sound, like you sound, like for more people to insult you, in real life? I would think, you'd be happy, they don't insult you now. On the internet, most people wouldn't even know you are a short man, if you didn't constantly bring it up.

Am I happy? I don't know, people not being open about their honest feelings makes me feel nervous too. As far as the Internet goes, I count people making fun of short men in general to be an attack against me. That is about the only time I bring my shortness to people's attention. Sadly a lot of women seem to be getting more and more smug about what they want in a mate, and I feel I need to encourage men to do the same to even the playing field.

I don't think most people have the same mentality about this, as you.

It's not my problem if people do or do not.

I don't think nearly as many people, view short men, as dirt, as you seem to think they do.

Hopefully you're right. I am not sure how to prove it one way or the other, I just have to go on about my personal experiences as a shorter man.

You could seek therapy, to make better peace, with yourself, perhaps. Instead of having this strange revenge mentality.

I am most likely hardwired for revenge. I have tried to be peaceful before and it hurts mentally, I feel like I am not being true to myself.

Rubbish. It doesn't help shorter men, as in plural, whatsoever. Perhaps, it helps you, to make you feel better, temporarily.

On the forums I have fought back on, most of the women who were open about not liking shorter men shut up. The results are pretty clear for me.

You are not a social justice warrior, for all shorter men. I very much doubt, any of them, want you, to use them, as a justification, for your behaviour. It's absurd, to think that your behaviour, benefits anyone, deters anything. You've said, most of the insults, come from the internet. I don't think, attacking women, for their age, weight, ect, on this forum, all because one person might have said she prefers taller men, or whatever, will have any impact, anywhere else.

I don't know, I've met many short men with the same mentality as me. Most of us like to go after the youth of women specifically too. I have also converted many shorter men to my way of thinking. Showing them how sadistic the world is to us.

It's strange you so often bring up your height, on this forum, if you don't think it defines you. It's good, though, that you don't think it defines you, as it shouldn't. 5'7 truly isn't that short.

I don't see how bringing something up defines me. My time posting on this forum only consists of a tiny portion of my thoughts.

As an adult, have you sought any professional help?

When you say BDD, do you mean BPD? Because I remember us discussing my BPD before, but not BDD. I have been accused of having BDD, but I honestly think I have an honest view about my looks. Some good, some bad... but realistic.

 

[ViaCrucis]

When my doctor tells me that my weight is a health problem, that's fine and moral. He's doing his job and speaking as a medical professional, and is also legitimately concerned about my health.

If you're a stranger and decide to walk up to me and say, "Hey fatty." Then you're being an obnoxious little turd.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[jimmyjimmy]

Obviously, this depends on why. The affirmation of the body image movement might be like the "kisses of an enemy", and your true, yet difficult, words might be the "wounds of a friend". It all depends of why you are doing what you are doing.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Proverbs 27:6

 

[Blue Wren]

Am I happy? I don't know, people not being open about their honest feelings makes me feel nervous too. As far as the Internet goes, I count people making fun of short men in general to be an attack against me. That is about the only time I bring my shortness to people's attention. Sadly a lot of women seem to be getting more and more smug about what they want in a mate, and I feel I need to encourage men to do the same to even the playing field.





It's not my problem if people do or do not.






Hopefully you're right. I am not sure how to prove it one way or the other, I just have to go on about my personal experiences as a shorter man.






I am most likely hardwired for revenge. I have tried to be peaceful before and it hurts mentally, I feel like I am not being true to myself.





On the forums I have fought back on, most of the women who were open about not liking shorter men shut up. The results are pretty clear for me.



I don't know, I've met many short men with the same mentality as me. Most of us like to go after the youth of women specifically too. I have also converted many shorter men to my way of thinking. Showing them how sadistic the world is to us.





I don't see how bringing something up defines me. My time posting on this forum only consists of a tiny portion of my thoughts.





When you say BDD, do you mean BPD? Because I remember us discussing my BPD before, but not BDD. I have been accused of having BDD, but I honestly think I have an honest view about my looks. Some good, some bad... but realistic.

I do think, you are not accomplishing anything productive, whatsoever, but, trying to reason with you, is not of much use. You are a grown man, responsible, for yourself. You've talked about several disorders, that you have. If they have been professionally diagnosed, or self-diagnosed, I don't know.

 

[MehGuy]

I do think, you are not accomplishing anything productive, whatsoever, but, trying to reason with you, is not of much use. You are a grown man, responsible, for yourself. You've talked about several disorders, that you have. If they have been professionally diagnosed, or self-diagnosed, I don't know.

Strangely I have never been diagnosed with anything, despite being heavily tested as a kid and a teenager. They were always baffled about how my thinking and mind worked but could never pin anything down. Every few years they'd try again and the same things would happen. Lol.

I would say some form of BPD is a safe bet, although I personally refer to it as complications of high emotional s/m. Many other people in the s/m scene also share the theory that many of us suffer from BPD.

 

[bhsmte]

Strangely I have never been diagnosed with anything, despite being heavily tested as a kid and a teenager. They were always baffled about how my thinking and mind worked but could never pin anything down. Every few years they'd try again and the same things would happen. Lol.

I would say some form of BPD is a safe bet, although I personally refer to it as complications of high emotional s/m. Many other people in the s/m scene also share the theory that many of us suffer from BPD.

I was very close to someone with BPD.

What behavior traits, do you feel you have the coincide with BPD?

 

[MehGuy]

I do think, you are not accomplishing anything productive, whatsoever, but, trying to reason with you, is not of much use. You are a grown man, responsible, for yourself. You've talked about several disorders, that you have. If they have been professionally diagnosed, or self-diagnosed, I don't know.

Borderline personality disorder may be characterized by the following signs and symptoms:

• Splitting (thinking in extremes)
• Chaos in relationships
• Markedly disturbed sense of identity
• Intense or uncontrollable emotional outbursts
• Unstable interpersonal relationships and self-esteem
• Concerns about abandonment
• Self-damaging behavior
• Impulsivity
• Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage

For some reason I have never had a fear of abandonment. I have never had much of a need to be nurtured. The health care workers noted as a baby and toddler I hated physical contact and preferred being by myself. As a child I distinctively remember being confused about the concept of love. If I do have BPD it's obviously marked by a more s/m flavor.

 

[bhsmte]

Borderline personality disorder may be characterized by the following signs and symptoms:

• Splitting (thinking in extremes)
• Chaos in relationships
• Markedly disturbed sense of identity
• Intense or uncontrollable emotional outbursts
• Unstable interpersonal relationships and self-esteem
• Concerns about abandonment
• Self-damaging behavior
• Impulsivity
• Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage

For some reason I have never had a fear of abandonment. I have never had much of a need to be nurtured. The health care workers noted as a baby and toddler I hated physical contact and preferred being by myself. As a child I distinctively remember being confused about the concept of love. If I do have BPD it's obviously marked by a more s/m flavor.

Personality disorders, can be difficult to accurately diagnosed and it takes someone with adequate expertise and experience to do so.

Also, folks with BPD, don't have to have all of the traits above, as I believe 6-7 of them is the guideline. BPD's can also have traits of other personality disorders as well and may actually have a blended diagnosis, to include NPD traits and other personalty disorder traits.

 

[MehGuy]

Personality disorders, can be difficult to accurately diagnosed and it takes someone with adequate expertise and experience to do so.

Also, folks with BPD, don't have to have all of the traits above, as I believe 6-7 of them is the guideline. BPD's can also have traits of other personality disorders as well and may actually have a blended diagnosis, to include NPD traits and other personalty disorder traits.

Yeah, I kind of regret using the BPD label in the past. Self diagnosis is probably irresponsible. Although I do not mind using BPD symptoms as a guideline as long as I am upfront about it.

Most of the time I use s/m terminology to describe my behaviors, which might seem strange to some but really fulfilling for me. When most people think of the s/m scene they think of sex, but for me it's a way of discovering myself and so far I've learned a lot about how I think using the framework.

 

[katerinah1947]

Pretty simple question, is it moral to call a fat person fat?

Is it moral to call a ugly person, ugly?

Hi,

On beauty for guys first and then on fat, which is meaningless.

To a guy: Do you have friends with wives or girlfriends?

Guy: Yes.

To a guy: One day invite 10 of these couples over to your house. Ask them to line up against the wall. Look at each woman that is there. How many of them are cute or beautiful to you?

To the guy: If you are lucky one or two women will be beautiful to you.

To the guy: Is your girlfriend or wife beautiful?

(When I asked this to that guy in question, here was his response. )

Guy: Yes.

To the guy: Do you think any of those guys settled for less than you did? Do you think any of them have a girlfriend or a wife that is not attractive to them?

To the guy: No., Each of them did not settle. Each of them thinks their girl is pretty. There is no such thing as beauty. It is relative.

He walked off with much to think about. I overheard him talking about ugly girls. There is no such thing, in reality.

Fat is similar.

LOVE,
...Mary Katerina., .... .

 

[Aidan K]

Pretty simple question, is it moral to call a fat person fat?

Is it moral to call a ugly person, ugly?

There's no such thing as an ugly human being, but there are human beings who do ugly things

 

[MehGuy]

Hi,

On beauty for guys first and then on fat, which is meaningless.

To a guy: Do you have friends with wives or girlfriends?

Guy: Yes.

To a guy: One day invite 10 of these couples over to your house. Ask them to line up against the wall. Look at each woman that is there. How many of them are cute or beautiful to you?

To the guy: If you are lucky one or two women will be beautiful to you.

To the guy: Is your girlfriend or wife beautiful?

(When I asked this to that guy in question, here was his response. )

Guy: Yes.

To the guy: Do you think any of those guys settled for less than you did? Do you think any of them have a girlfriend or a wife that is not attractive to them?

To the guy: No., Each of them did not settle. Each of them thinks their girl is pretty. There is no such thing as beauty. It is relative.

He walked off with much to think about. I overheard him talking about ugly girls. There is no such thing, in reality.

Fat is similar.

LOVE,
...Mary Katerina., .... .

Most people have to settle somewhat.

If people had the ability to truly pick they'd probably be with different partners than they are with now.

 

[katerinah1947]

Most people have to settle somewhat.

If people had the ability to truly pick they'd probably be with different partners than they are with now.

Hi,

I know what you are saying dear, and this is what you are saying from one man's point of view, but I do not know if all men share his view. The guy I was talking to, had a beautiful wife. A beautiful wife to him.

Also when most women who I have ever heard that question asked from were asking their guys not about weight, but about love and caring.

Female: (I wonder if he loves me, the way I am? I will ask.)
Female: Do you think I am fat?

Guy: (I don't know what any guy would say. However, if he said fat for some reason.)
Female: (He doesn't love me. This hurts.)
Female: If it were me, and I actually did that, it would hurt immensely, I might even break up with the guy over that.

The problem is the question is about love, and the words used to answer that question are about something called fat which is on all of us in some small portions, so what is the guy to say? What?

I for instance have subcutaneous fat. Skinny guys don't have that. All women have that no matter if they are anoerixic or not.

Beauty is similar. That guy said for every beautiful girl out there, there are ten damaged guys trying to get over her horrid entitlement mean personality.

LOVE,