Is it acceptable for a christian married man to have female friends?

[RICHARD05]

Is it acceptable for a Christian married man to have female friends. The friends I have known since secondary school?

 

[Pal Handy]

Is it acceptable for a Christian married man to have female friends. The friends I have known since secondary school?

What does your better half have to say?

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I don't see why not...as long as you aren't cheating on your wife or thinking about it.

 

[fuji]

Why is this even a question?

 

[pappastratos]

no, not really, not a good thing. Too easy for things to turn bad. Too much conversation leads into things you do not need to be talking about. My wife does not do this, husband does not do that,,,If you want to be friends, it needs to be couples only. This is how many affairs start.

guard your heart with ALL dilligence

 

[Thusia Zao]

If approach the relationship under godly conditions and under self-control. Pray for this relationship that it will not dilute your marriage. Approach your wife about it.

 

[Pal Handy]

no, not really, not a good thing. Too easy for things to turn bad. Too much conversation leads into things you do not need to be talking about. My wife does not do this, husband does not do that,,,If you want to be friends, it needs to be couples only. This is how many affairs start.

guard your heart with ALL dilligence

I agree.

In some rare cases as long as husband and wife agree,
a married person might have an old friend of the opposite sex
but this is rare and in fact I cannot think of any examples.

We belong to Christ and we do not belong to ourselves
and we are admonished to flee situations that can
cause misunderstanding and temptations and bring division
into our marriage.

Marriage is so special to God that He likens our faith in Christ
as a betrothal of marriage to God's own Son in which we will
be joined together as ONE at the consumation of the wedding
feast of the Lamb in the new kingdom.

Just as we are not to allow anyone or anything come between us
and our Lord so too, in earthy marriage, nothing should be allowed
to bring a division between husband and wife.

So what does your wife think?
Why are you asking us when she is the one that matters.

 

[Jn1010]

It's quite okay to have female friends of long standing. But remember that your wife needs to be the number one person in your life. She is to be the best and most faithful friend of all. When a man finds a wife, her company should satisfy a man fully.

So, I would keep the relationships with your female friends at a great distance from you.

 

[iambren]

Playing close to the line is dangerous. Do NOT underestimate your weakness to fall into inappropriate contact. We are built to grow intimacy through shared time, shared thoughts/feelings, leading to affection. Your having a bad day, your wife has rejected you lately sexually, you didn't get that raise, and your friend pops up at that exact moment. She uses comforting/encouraging words and before you know it you're wide open. Be aware!

OR, if you want to have an affair nurture these relationships and you'll be rewarded promptly.

 

[peckaboo]

Is your wife also friends with these women? I think that counts for a lot. I have guy friends whom my husband has become friends with, and he has girl friends whom I've also become friends with. If these are female friends of yours whom you don't want to introduce to your wife, that's dangerous territory.

Also, were you ever involved with any of these ladies, even way back in high school, or even if it was just a quick fumble behind the bike shed? I'd say that's usually a no-go territory, too. Having said that, my DH's ex is part of a wider circle of friends that he has, so whenever that group is doing something together she's there too, but he's not a close friend to her - he wouldn't call her up and initiate hanging out with her.

My DH and I have an agreement that we won't ever go for dinner / coffee / a movie / whatever with just someone of the opposite sex. That works well for us, though it's maybe not for everyone.

 

[PaladinValer]

A guy having friends who happen to be women after he is married is not a sin. Same goes for women having friends who happen to be guys. Those who say otherwise are arguing the Slippery Slope Fallacy and should be disregarded.

Unless you find yourself becoming unfaithful to your vows of marriage by becoming attracted to one or more or having thoughts of infidelity, there is no sin in having female friends in your life.

You should probably have a chat with your wife. Explain calmly and rationally that these are people you knew from high school and that you are just continuing or renewing your friendships. More than likely, I doubt she'll have a problem; she may have friends who happen to be guys anyway! If she does, then you need to find out why and attempt to alleviate the issue. Continued denials or any hostility should be seen as signs of jealousy or possessiveness and you should, at that point, discuss marriage counseling.