India’s tallest man’s struggle to find love

[dgiharris]

I'd say most women start dropping off in looks by their early 30s and sometimes even in their second half of their 20s.

A 33 year old women is probably just as unpleasant to a man that a 5 foot 5 inch man is to a woman.

Wow man, you are way off.

I've always been attracted to women in their 30s, even when I was 18. Women aged 15 - 23 look like "girls" to me.

You thinking that a woman's looks drop off by early 30s or second half of their 20s seems like a Zoolander complex. In the world of models and Cosmopolitan magazine and Hollywood sure, that may be the case. But in the real world, that is not even remotely the case. Obviously we start to get into preferences but all the men I know are attracted to women based on looks and not age. And today, with all the beauty science, women can easily remain sexually attractive well into their 40s and even 50s.

Seriously, I gotta laugh when you think that a 33 year old woman is unpleasant... To me, that is just an insane statement to make. If you were to give a 33 yr-old the same weight and measurements as a 23 year old, I would argue that the 33 yr-old would look hotter than the 23 year old. In fact, I would argue that all things being equal, a woman reaches the "peak" of her physical beauty around 27 and then she plateaus for a good 5 years and then "slowly" declines from mid 30s to early 40s then a more rapid decline from mid 40s+. However, she would then move to a "different" phase of sexual attractiveness. Like I said, with health and beauty science nowadays, attitudes on sex and attractiveness are way different now than they were 40 years ago. Hell, I've even seen some hot 50-yr olds that make me look twice.

but to each their own...

 

[dgiharris]

I think men can also remain attractive for years, especially if they stay fit and radiate a positive attitude.

I think the subject of "attractiveness" differs between males and females.

Imo, men are hardwired to look for traits indicative of fertility and child rearing. This is why men find breasts and the proportion between breasts, hips, and thighs attractive as these are all physical traits conducive to child bearing. In fact, they did a WORLDWIDE study of men of various cultures to sketch their ideal woman and all the men came up with the same proportions!!!

Women on the other hand are hardwired to look for traits indicative of safety, security, and power otherwise known as a "good provider". This is why women tend to be attracted to Alpha males. And when I say Alpha males I don't just mean the lantern jaw Football player CEO. No. I mean any man who is the leader in his peer group or field or demonstrates an above average talent that is indicative of success. The artist, musician, writer, chef, successful business man, etc... As a man, your primary attractive feature will be your ability to provide, looks are often secondary (not to say looks can't be a deal breaker, they often can be). Similarly, our traits relating to "providing" grow with age. We attain more money and/or power with age which is why you see so many older men with younger women and the younger women are "honestly" attracted to the older guy.

Sure, the above is not 100% the case, but it is the majority.

As to your point about a man staying in shape. Yeah, it's a lot easier for a man to hold onto his physical beauty features since our ability to have children stay with us until we die, as opposed to women who can only have children up until their early 40s. So for a man, if we keep our muscle tone we can look physically attractive to females well into our 60s

 

[MehGuy]

Wow man, you are way off.

I've always been attracted to women in their 30s, even when I was 18. Women aged 15 - 23 look like "girls" to me.

You thinking that a woman's looks drop off by early 30s or second half of their 20s seems like a Zoolander complex. In the world of models and Cosmopolitan magazine and Hollywood sure, that may be the case. But in the real world, that is not even remotely the case. Obviously we start to get into preferences but all the men I know are attracted to women based on looks and not age. And today, with all the beauty science, women can easily remain sexually attractive well into their 40s and even 50s.

Seriously, I gotta laugh when you think that a 33 year old woman is unpleasant... To me, that is just an insane statement to make. If you were to give a 33 yr-old the same weight and measurements as a 23 year old, I would argue that the 33 yr-old would look hotter than the 23 year old. In fact, I would argue that all things being equal, a woman reaches the "peak" of her physical beauty around 27 and then she plateaus for a good 5 years and then "slowly" declines from mid 30s to early 40s then a more rapid decline from mid 40s+. However, she would then move to a "different" phase of sexual attractiveness. Like I said, with health and beauty science nowadays, attitudes on sex and attractiveness are way different now than they were 40 years ago. Hell, I've even seen some hot 50-yr olds that make me look twice.

but to each their own...

As a typical male, I'm attracted to youthful features, I do not see why I'd be more attracted to a 33 year old than I would a 23 year old. Beauty products do not amount to much. Whenever I see 25+ women in the real world I notice a real downgrade.

That's not to say I cannot be attracted to women in their 30s and 40s, but it's usually few far and between, and I never think they look better than 20 year olds.

I'm curious why you'd think the 33 year old would look better than the 23 year old? I'm not knocking you for it, it's for the best if you're attracted to older women since most of us will have to settle for them.

 

[bill5]

You obviously don't know women.

While I certainly make no claims to be the world's leading authority to say the least, I'd bet everything I own I know a great deal more than you about women. You appear to think your little piece of the world = the whole world. Having probably lived a great deal longer and seen a great deal more of the world than you, I can assure you that isn't the case. And thank God, frankly, as your circle appears to be a tragically shallow one. Sure, generally speaking, both men and women prefer the man be taller, but anyone who considers such superficial things a "deal breaker" needs to grow up and get a clue. And again, really it's their loss. Shallow people tend to end up with shallow lives. How sad.

I'd bet you a dollar that if you did a survey on women aged 18 - 29 that height would be a deal breaker.

For......what, all of them? Most? Regardless, you'd lose that bet. (PS I would be happy to bet quite a deal more - betting a dollar doesn't give me the impression you're very confident ).

The guy MUST be taller than the girl in most cases, period.

lol. Period. I'm sorry, this is not reality in the real world.

If the girl is 5'9" and the guy is 5'7" at least 75% of the time that is a deal breaker regardless of how "nice" or suitable the guy is. The girl won't give the guy a chance from day one and automatically puts him in the friend-zone

Please tell me you're a teenager (or younger) because you really sound like it, and it would frankly be tragic if you were older.

To be fair, as pointed out by MehGuy, males have their shallow points as well.

No argument there. Neither gender has a lock on being shallow, ignorant, or just plain stupid.

On a related note, being a "jerk" is not an automatic deal breaker. If you are a successful jerk then you will never be short on women....

Also sad but true.

A big criteria for women is "security" and you just aren't going to get much action if you can't provide or if you aren't at the appropriate status level.

Apparently your circle also includes a lot of equally shallow gold diggers. Big surprise. God forbid these women provide for themselves. This isn't 1950 FYI.

if he were tearing it up in the NBA Shaq style he'd be drowning in India women no matter how big a jerk he was.

If anyone understands this bizarre comment, please translate.

 

[MehGuy]

While I certainly make no claims to be the world's leading authority to say the least, I'd bet everything I own I know a great deal more than you about women. You appear to think your little piece of the world = the whole world. Having probably lived a great deal longer and seen a great deal more of the world than you, I can assure you that isn't the case. And thank God, frankly, as your circle appears to be a tragically shallow one. Sure, generally speaking, both men and women prefer the man be taller, but anyone who considers such superficial things a "deal breaker" needs to grow up and get a clue. And again, really it's their loss. Shallow people tend to end up with shallow lives. How sad.

For......what, all of them? Most? Regardless, you'd lose that bet. (PS I would be happy to bet quite a deal more - betting a dollar doesn't give me the impression you're very confident ).

lol. Period. I'm sorry, this is not reality in the real world.

Please tell me you're a teenager (or younger) because you really sound like it, and it would frankly be tragic if you were older.

No argument there. Neither gender has a lock on being shallow, ignorant, or just plain stupid.

Also sad but true.

Apparently your circle also includes a lot of equally shallow gold diggers. Big surprise. God forbid these women provide for themselves. This isn't 1950 FYI.

If anyone understands this bizarre comment, please translate.

Ah, you're probably right.

While I abhor when women states a guy must be six feet to be datable, I know often times this isn't true. I'm a short man and I've had plenty of cute women want to date me, even ones who are taller than I.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

Height (or lack thereof) can feel like a curse at times. I'm a 6 foot tall (without shoes) woman and have had my share of people gawking or rude/awkward comments. I sympathize with anyone who has issues due to their height. It's amazing how very shallow people can be.

 

[SkyWriting]

LIFE is not always easy at high altitude, as India’s tallest man can attest.At 2.4m tall (8ft 1in) — only 11cm shy of the world record (2.51m, 8ft 3in) — Dharmendra Singh stands head and shoulders above his fellow countrymen and believes he’s struggling to find love because of his colossal height.

No, he's just blaming his stature. It's because of his huge ego. Loving other people
can be done at any altitude and any income level.

 

[dgiharris]

While I certainly make no claims to be the world's leading authority to say the least, I'd bet everything I own I know a great deal more than you about women. ....

I have a ton of female friends .

My female friends all say the right PC things. Job doesn't matter, height doesn't matter, all that matters is inner beauty yada yada yada kum-by-ya....

but when you looked at their actions, when you looked at the men they dated and the men they put in the friends zone and the men they wouldn't give the time of day to.... those actions were often contrary to what they said.

Looking at all the couples I've known throughout my life, I can only think of maybe five or six out of hundreds in which the woman was taller than the man.

Here is an interesting link on the subject

http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/how-common-is-it-for-a-man-to-be-shorter-than-his-partner/

I know my argument isn't very PC, but actions speak louder than words. I know a lot of my female friends always give a laundry list of what they want in a guy... but the reality is they often date according to a different more shallow list. And FWIW, men do the same thing...

 

[Blue Wren]

I guess you can say there are a ..shortage of women?

You're terrible, but I am, also, as I LOL'd.

 

[Blue Wren]

Height (or lack thereof) can feel like a curse at times. I'm a 6 foot tall (without shoes) woman and have had my share of people gawking or rude/awkward comments. I sympathize with anyone who has issues due to their height. It's amazing how very shallow people can be.

I can identify with this, very much.

I am also six feet tall, and am a woman. Scandinavians are taller, but, I'm still taller than average. Outside of Sweden, I stand out, so much more. Not as much as the man in India, of course not, but, in Japan, I feel like a giant, next to the dainty women. I came to Japan, for a research position this summer. My luggage had been lost by the airline, for nearly a week, when I arrived. I needed to buy new shoes, clothes. They gave me the funds for this, thankfully, but it was quite difficult, as I am tall. I felt so relieved, to find a Zara store, with clothes my size. Still, I had to buy men's trainers. People here, they stop me on the street, and ask to be in a selfie with them, lol. They are very nice about it, always. It is endearing, but also makes me self-conscious. I was stared at, whilst in the US, also. I cannot imagine, what it would be like, to be that man. Everywhere, everyday, people must gawk. The everyday things, that are simple to us, would be more challenging, for him.

This thread, it has made me realise, I need to feel even more grateful, for my boyfriend, and for my brother in law. My boyfriend, he is Italian, smaller build. He's shorter than I am. Not so much, but visibly, most definitely, even if I am wearing flat shoes. It's not a problem, for either of us, thankfully. We have four years together. Our heights would be, such a pathetic thing, to keep us apart. That's not important, to our relationship, at all, no. I think that it is more insecure men, who don't date women who are taller. He is confident, lol. He is proud, of my height, even. Encourages me, to wear whatever shoes I want, and will take offence, if I don't choose heels, because of him. I am grateful, also, for my brother in law, as he is four years younger, & a few inches shorter, than my eldest sister. It's not a problem for them, either.

 

[dgiharris]

....
This thread, it has made me realise, I need to feel even more grateful, for my boyfriend, and for my brother in law. My boyfriend, he is Italian, smaller build. He's shorter than I am. Not so much, but visibly, most definitely, even if I am wearing flat shoes. It's not a problem.....

I've noticed that women who are tall 5'11+ have learned to accept the reality that they will be taller than most guys and thus height isn't as much as a deal breaker for them.

It's been my experience that the women most discriminatory when it comes to height (i.e. the man MUST be taller) are women that are closer to average height 5'6".

 

[Billnew]

You obviously don't know women. I'd bet you a dollar that if you did a survey on women aged 18 - 29 that height would be a deal breaker. The guy MUST be taller than the girl in most cases, period. If the girl is 5'9" and the guy is 5'7" at least 75% of the time that is a deal breaker regardless of how "nice" or suitable the guy is. The girl won't give the guy a chance from day one and automatically puts him in the friend-zone

You can't deny that...

On dating sites, women that are 5'1-5'5 commonly set requirements of 5'8 or higher.
My ex and I were almost the same height. She refused to wear high heels when we went out, so she wouldn't look taller then me.
(Personally, I hate high heels. It's the man's way to hobble women and keep them dependent. and is bad for the feet and ankles.)

I would not date a woman that is obviously taller then me, even if she could except it.

OP:
You have to look up to the man in this story, hey he's 8 ft tall. #rimshot
Just like you have to hand it to short women...because they can't reach it most of the time.

 

[Travelers.Soul]

I can identify with this, very much.

I am also six feet tall, and am a woman. Scandinavians are taller, but, I'm still taller than average. Outside of Sweden, I stand out, so much more. Not as much as the man in India, of course not, but, in Japan, I feel like a giant, next to the dainty women. I came to Japan, for a research position this summer. My luggage had been lost by the airline, for nearly a week, when I arrived. I needed to buy new shoes, clothes. They gave me the funds for this, thankfully, but it was quite difficult, as I am tall. I felt so relieved, to find a Zara store, with clothes my size. Still, I had to buy men's trainers. People here, they stop me on the street, and ask to be in a selfie with them, lol. They are very nice about it, always. It is endearing, but also makes me self-conscious. I was stared at, whilst in the US, also. I cannot imagine, what it would be like, to be that man. Everywhere, everyday, people must gawk. The everyday things, that are simple to us, would be more challenging, for him.

This thread, it has made me realise, I need to feel even more grateful, for my boyfriend, and for my brother in law. My boyfriend, he is Italian, smaller build. He's shorter than I am. Not so much, but visibly, most definitely, even if I am wearing flat shoes. It's not a problem, for either of us, thankfully. We have four years together. Our heights would be, such a pathetic thing, to keep us apart. That's not important, to our relationship, at all, no. I think that it is more insecure men, who don't date women who are taller. He is confident, lol. He is proud, of my height, even. Encourages me, to wear whatever shoes I want, and will take offence, if I don't choose heels, because of him. I am grateful, also, for my brother in law, as he is four years younger, & a few inches shorter, than my eldest sister. It's not a problem for them, either.

A sister in height! Yea! You have no idea how happy that makes me. I never have really fit in. The national average of a woman in the U.S is about 5'4". When I was in Ireland one of the bus drivers looked me up and down then demanded to know where a woman so tall came from. He thought I was a strange creature. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to live in Japan! I know if I am around my South Korean friends I look like a giant or they look like children. It's pretty funny. It usually doesn't bother me but sometimes it makes me a little self conscious. I once had a group of people stop me, while I was in seminary, because they wanted a picture with the tall American. I humored them. Oh my...I'm glad you were able to find clothes!!

I can't imagine how hard it must be for the poor guy in India. Even riding the bus or getting around would be very difficult. He must face a lot of difficulties everyday due to his height. Love is the least of his problems. That is so great! I am glad you have such a supportive boyfriend and family! Honestly most of the guys I've dated or have been interested in have all been shorter than me. Height just really isn't much of an issue for me when it comes to dating and I don't see why it should be an issue for anyone else.

 

[dgiharris]

....
(Personally, I hate high heels. It's the man's way to hobble women and keep them dependent. and is bad for the feet and ankles.).

Actually, high heels accentuate the legs and lift the butt making it look better

I do agree that they are bad for feet and ankles but imo I don't think it's a man's invention. Most of us men are oblivious to women shoes, women choose to wear those torture devices on their own free will

 

[James Is Back]

Mod Hat On

Thread has undergone a cleanup for off topic post so if your post is gone that is the reason. Keep on the subject at hand and don't go off topic ok.

Mod Hat Off​

 

[Billnew]

Actually, high heels accentuate the legs and lift the butt making it look better

I do agree that they are bad for feet and ankles but imo I don't think it's a man's invention. Most of us men are oblivious to women shoes, women choose to wear those torture devices on their own free will

Personally, I like the looks of natural legs, sculpted by exercise, not formed by heels. (Such as women's legs in soccer.)

Not sure who invented high heels. Maybe Victorian?

Nope. 1790 King Louis XIV, he made it popular.
first was actually Catherine De Medici (1519-1589)

heels were first introduced for horse back riding, but for a purpose rather then just fashion.

 

[SuperCloud]

Many women are attracted to tall, dark and handsome men, (like me), but there are other factors that would be a deal breaker. If the guy is a jerk, or a raging alcoholic, or abuses women, etc., that would pretty much be a deal breaker. Maybe the tall guy in this story falls into one of those categories, and it has nothing to do with his height.

Nice generalizations. Good to know domestic violence does not exist in the USA and every alcoholic man (of course, women are never alcoholics--surprising both my grandfather and grandmother on my father's side and my grandmother on my mother's side was) is womanless. New York mobsters that throw women head first down a staircase are without women too.

Not.

 

[TheBear]

Nice generalizations.

Thank you. That's what I was going for.

All I was saying was that maybe it isn't just the guy's height that makes it difficult for him to find a romantic partner. There may be other factors involved, besides his physical characteristics, which are a turn off to women. I just rattled a few possible examples off the top of my head. It could be none of those things I listed. It could be something else altogether. Most people got that. Yet, you and one other poster found it necessary to post a snarky and defensive reply. I would ask why that is, but that would be a topic for another discussion.....

 

[Blue Wren]

I've noticed that women who are tall 5'11+ have learned to accept the reality that they will be taller than most guys and thus height isn't as much as a deal breaker for them.

It's been my experience that the women most discriminatory when it comes to height (i.e. the man MUST be taller) are women that are closer to average height 5'6".

For me, my height, it has not been a hardship, in dating & relationships, no. It's not something, I've had to learn, how to accept. It has some annoyances, yes, this is true. Having to take trousers to the tailor to be let out, having difficulty finding dresses that don't look too short, being gawked out everywhere I go whilst in Japan, being asked if I'm a good netball player, things such as this, you see. With guys, my height, it has never been a problem. If they didn't like me, for being taller than them, I didn't notice. Why would I give my attention, to such guys? They are small men, not in their height, but in their mindset. I cannot change my height, or my age, nobody can. I would never, date someone with such negative & narcissistic & pathetic attitudes, about age & height, when there are too many good men out there. I've been with my boyfriend, since age 15. I'm taller than him. This is of no difference, to him. He takes pride, in me, and I, in him. He is very attractive, athletic, smart, from a good family, he could choose other girls, if my height, bothered him. He chooses me, for me, not my height.

 

[SuperCloud]

Thank you. That's what I was going for.

All I was saying was that maybe it isn't just the guy's height that makes it difficult for him to find a romantic partner. There may be other factors involved, besides his physical characteristics, which are a turn off to women. I just rattled a few possible examples off the top of my head. It could be none of those things I listed. It could be something else altogether. Most people got that. Yet, you and one other poster found it necessary to post a snarky and defensive reply. I would ask why that is, but that would be a topic for another discussion.....

This has nothing to do with what I said.

My mother is a liberal and a feminist. She fled out the house one night with my brother and I (he was too young to remember) when we were little boys, because my father was loading up the rifle to kill us all. My father rarely drank--or drinks--was a Federal Agent and has one of the worst rage problems I've ever seen. He used to choke my mother off her feet frequently. Didn't stop my mother from marrying him. Didn't stop her from staying with him.

None of anything you said has any basis in reality. If it did then domestic violence would be extremely rare in the United States.

And India is a totally different culture than that of the USA. But you some how presume women in India--their whole marital system--is a replica of the USA or Western Europe. In terms of the attractions to wealth I might agree with you. It does not take a rocket scientist to deduce that if this Indian guy was a very rich man that he'd have a wife, indeed he would be overflowing with women in India. (India is actually a country I want to visit, I'm totally enamored with its culture I see from afar, so, I've got no hate for India.)

Kindness, honesty, loyalty, affection are as a general rule meaningless to women (here in the USA at least). Young women. It gets to matter to women in their 30s and 40s more. Not that it remains high on their list, but it takes on more value.