I'm angry with God. I don't know what to do

[Simon_Templar]

I've promised myself to not date until after high school, but I find myself wanting to break the promise. I ask God if this is the right promise and I get nothing from him. I was so close to breaking my promise and I didn't because the girl I wanted to date is a "player". Which made me even more mad because I wouldn't have felt love for this girl and God just helped me in the first place and told me not to pursue her. I asked him if I should date her, and I got nothing for him. I fell in love only to be crushed.


The thing is I know I'm angry with him, but I just can't show my anger because I know there is a reason he's doing this. I know I'm contradicting myself but I just need his help and I get nothing. I ask him to give me clear signs.

Welcome to life. I don't mean to be dismissive or harsh, but this is just reality and soft-peddling it won't do you any good. Life is full of hardship and heart-breaks. I'm 40 years old and I've never had a romantic relationship. I've had my heart broken more than once. In the moment it seems terrible, and I have at times even said things like "God don't you care? do you hate me?" etc.

Yet, looking back all of the things I have suffered have lead me to where I am and who I am. I can honestly say that relationships I would have literally died for at the time, I now am glad didn't work out and I would certainly have regretted them.

If you must be angry with God, He can take it, but don't be foolish in your anger. Learn faith and humility.

 

[benedictaoo]

Well, there's the scorging in it... I think it's the pic of Jesus chillin without a shirt that's offensive. But I'm so over everyone getting offended. We think now being offended is some sort of civil right. What happened to freedom people? If your an American that is. Freedom of expression and speech. That is the constitutional right that being taken away.

 

[Open Heart]

Well, there's the scorging in it... I think it's the pic of Jesus chillin without a shirt that's offensive. But I'm so over everyone getting offended. We think now being offended is some sort of civil right. What happened to freedom people? If your an American that is. Freedom of expression and speech. That is the constitutional right that being taken away.

I agree to a point. Freedom of this sort should be legal. But that doesn't mean that there won't be social consequences. For example, I know someone who spouts racist nonsense in public settings. Thank goodness it is legal for her to do so. But no one wants to be her friend, and she needs to understand why people are avoiding her. If someone sports an offensive avatar, they can expect others to make comments. That's freedom of speech too.

 

[benedictaoo]

Well when it comes to offensive pics of Jesus, I have to agree cuz Jesus is God and we can't depict him anyway we want. It's akin to making him in our own image.

 

[paulm50]

1st - what are you praying for?
We can help...by praying with you.
2nd - God tests us, and OR what you want may not be what He knows is good for you.
Be patient - and know He will come through for you...when the time is right.

Jesus said pray and you will get what you ask for.

I've promised myself to not date until after high school, but I find myself wanting to break the promise. I ask God if this is the right promise and I get nothing from him. I was so close to breaking my promise and I didn't because the girl I wanted to date is a "player". Which made me even more mad because I wouldn't have felt love for this girl and God just helped me in the first place and told me not to pursue her. I asked him if I should date her, and I got nothing for him. I fell in love only to be crushed.

When you hit puberty, your body is telling you to go out there and "date". If you believe god created you, that's the way he made you.
Love in a marriage is a modern concept. It used to be about forming a union with another family, group or country. For the benefit of the family, group or country. It was also normal at a young age and be betrothed even younger. Now we have applied modern ethics, to outdated ethics. Your girlfriend is doing what she should be doing in a modern world. Experiencing it, enjoying herself, without guilt. so she can choose the right one to marry, for herself.

The thing is I know I'm angry with him, but I just can't show my anger because I know there is a reason he's doing this. I know I'm contradicting myself but I just need his help and I get nothing. I ask him to give me clear signs.

If god could talk to you, he would tell you to do what they did in 1500 BC. Let your parents choose your wife, around the age of 10. So the two families could prosper. He didn't intend to put you through puberty at 14, so you could torture yourself for 6-10 years. That was Man's doing.

 

[Jan001]

I've promised myself to not date until after high school, but I find myself wanting to break the promise. I ask God if this is the right promise and I get nothing from him. I was so close to breaking my promise and I didn't because the girl I wanted to date is a "player". Which made me even more mad because I wouldn't have felt love for this girl and God just helped me in the first place and told me not to pursue her. I asked him if I should date her, and I got nothing for him. I fell in love only to be crushed.


The thing is I know I'm angry with him, but I just can't show my anger because I know there is a reason he's doing this. I know I'm contradicting myself but I just need his help and I get nothing. I ask him to give me clear signs.

If you made a promise to God, why do you think that now you can break it when it is no longer convenient/comfortable/self-satisfying for you to keep it?

This promise actually has kept you from getting more involved with this unsuitable girl. It seems to me that what you felt for this girl was emotional infatuation. You did not even know that she was a player and yet you claim you loved her. Your hormones are most likely messing with your mind.

You can learn to subjugate your hormones' control over you with God's help and then you will be able to honor Him and yourself with good life choices.

It seems to me that you already know God's answer, but you do not like His answer: God does not want you to break your promise to Him.

It seems to me that you need more emotional maturity before you begin dating except for planning group dates with your male and female friends. This is a good way to find out what qualities you admire in others and what qualities are not acceptable for either you or a prospective wife. It seems to me that you are letting your emotions rule over you instead of finding out who you are in relationship to God (His beloved child). When you follow Him and obey His commandments, you will eventually learn what God's best is for you and whether God's plan is for you to marry. You will need to become the godly man that a godly woman will want to marry if you want to have a happy and successful marriage (a marriage that is pleasing to God).

God is not a genie who we can manipulate. God is not Santa Claus who gives us whatever we ask for as soon as we ask. God speaks to us in His own way and in His own time frame. He usually leads us to the right answer rather than immediately making the answer clear to us. We can and do know that if what we want violates His commandments, His answer is automatically "no."

 

[fat wee robin]

I think it's supposed to be a picture of Jesus sitting there. The problem is that this Jesus is a body builder, a little too nice for someone who was only a carpenter, with all his pecs and six pack there for us women to gawk at. This is why it is troublesome for some of us.

Not only women unfortunately .

 

[fat wee robin]

Jesus said pray and you will get what you ask for.
When you hit puberty, your body is telling you to go out there and "date". If you believe god created you, that's the way he made you.
Love in a marriage is a modern concept. It used to be about forming a union with
another family, group or country. For the benefit of the family, group or country. It was also normal at a young age and be betrothed even younger. Now we have applied modern ethics, to outdated ethics. Your girlfriend is doing what she should be doing in a modern world. Experiencing it, enjoying herself, without guilt. so she can choose the right one to marry, for herself.

If god could talk to you, he would tell you to do what they did in 1500 BC. Let your parents choose your wife, around the age of 10. So the two families could prosper. He didn't intend to put you through puberty at 14, so you could torture yourself for 6-10 years. That was Man's doing.

What

 

[Open Heart]

This promise actually has kept you from getting more involved with this unsuitable girl.

Quite true. That's the whole point of promises, eh?

 

[WarriorAngel]

Jesus said pray and you will get what you ask for..

it depends... on the object you desire.
If it is not Holy - or good He will not do it.

 

[oi_antz]

I am worried about the anger. It happened to me in my younger years, I was angry that He wanted me to not have what I desired. It caused me to hate Him, to oppose Christians and Christianity without further thought. I turned from Him and was blinded by the enemy. Only by grace He called me back 10 years later. I consider that your situation, His Word to you is for wisdom, to protect you. Definitely people who father while young really get stuck. So consider that if you are angry, it is like a kid throwing a tantrum because they wanted to watch tv instead of going to bed. I know it's a bit more demanding though, given it's nature and your responsibility. Still, I believe it is best advice for you even if you need to forfeit some personal desires.

Here is a song, the message can help you have a grateful attitude. Humble has been mentioned already, but I reckon that will aggravate you Just be thankful and patient

 

[The Kayay Guy]

To be angry with God is to judge God. Anger is the emotion which gives evidence of our judgment. Stop expecting God to conform to your wishes and seek to know why, and how, your will conflicts with His will. Remember Jesus' prayer before his execution by crucifixion; it was his [Jesus'] will that he not have to suffer and die, but knowing that this fate was his purpose on earth, he concluded his prayer to the Father with, "but not my will, but thine be done." We often pray that God should answer our prayers according to what we "imagine" is the "right thing" but we fail to see that our imagination is full of vanity and self glory. Do not make vows that you do not have the power or wisdom to fulfill. A vow taken by a teenager to NOT "date" until after high school is nothing more than a self creation of a temptation so as to take pride in one's own "strength of character". If you don't want to date until after high school, then simply don't date, period..., but don't make a vow and then suffer the internal pressure you've placed on yourself to not violate your own vow. It's a simple thing to resign yourself to a certain code of behavior, it's quite another thing, a thing of pride and ego, to vow not to do something and then broadcast it to the world so that others can see what it is you are "not doing". As Jesus said regarding the giving of tithes, "don't do as the scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, do so as to be been by men, but when you tithe, tithe in secret and don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. As for dating or not, Resolve within your self how to live but don't make a vow that puts you and God "on the spot". And, don't judge God just because you imagine that He is not listening and responding to you according to your imagination as to how He should act. And, one final thought: how do you know that your future "perfect mate" is not slipping right out of your fingertips because you made a foolish vow that has caused you to suffer internal conflict? Huh? I'll bet she's pretty cute too. Without a vow, you're free to respond to God's spirit as He moves within you, moment by moment; with a vow, you're enslaved to your own imagination.

 

[Open Heart]

To be angry with God is to judge God.

Anger is a God given emotion that we feel when we are threatened or hurt. God is not an abusive father who punishes his child for getting angry. Rather he welcomes us to come and talk things out with him.

 

[oi_antz]

And, one final thought: how do you know that your future "perfect mate" is not slipping right out of your fingertips because you made a foolish vow that has caused you to suffer internal conflict? Huh? I'll bet she's pretty cute too. Without a vow, you're free to respond to God's spirit as He moves within you, moment by moment; with a vow, you're enslaved to your own imagination.

This does raise a valid point. A vow to God should not be taken lightly. It actually should be discouraged, if at all possible, do not make deals with anyone, especially if there is a chance you can not keep your end of the bargain. But from what OP described, this girl seems to just be looking at him next. Maybe she has already finished with those she placed ahead of him. I think the distinction is, to follow what God is saying, rather than make some decision to bargain for some perceived personal gain. The whole thing about Christianity, as Jesus demonstrated perfectly, is we do not live for ourselves (sure is easy to say, but think about that).

 

[Miss Shelby]

mad at God cause you didn't get the girl? You'll live through this, and probably more trials in life. In the end, I have a feeling you will not be blaming God.

 

[MEK]

Tell God you are angry with Him, yell and scream at Him, express everything that you are feeling. God wants us to be honest with Him when we are praying, brutally honest, even if we have to yell, scream, demand, etc. He is God, He made us and He most certainly can handle our anger. Ask Him why He has not yet answered your prayer and ask Him to very clearly show you what is going on and what He wants you to do, ask Him to guide you and to please give you an answer or show you why He has not yet given you an answer.

And then give Him the curtsey of listening to what He has to say to you. If your prayers are not answered, He is trying to tell you something. Are you listening?

 

[The Kayay Guy]

Anger is a God given emotion that we feel when we are threatened or hurt. God is not an abusive father who punishes his child for getting angry. Rather he welcomes us to come and talk things out with him.

Please consider the difference between a real physical danger of death or personal injury versus the anger [judgment] we feel when our pride, our ego, our "self-esteem" or "self-image" is threatened. Remember, in order to save our life we must first loose it..., meaning, we must die to the life of our ego, pride, false self-image, in order to live a life pleasing to God and in service to him and our fellow man. When you are angry with others because they failed to act according to your expectations, this anger within you is due to the fact that you had unrealized expectations of them. It's not their fault that you expected something of them, it's your fault for having expectations that others failed to discern..., are they obliged to please you? Your anger suggests that you think they are..., your anger is the evidence of your expectation. For instance, you get all dressed up in your finest clothes and nobody compliments your appearance and you are angry at them for being "rude" and not saying something nice to you. They weren't necessarily rude in truth, but because they failed to behave in a way that you expected them to behave, your anger towards them revealed your judgment of them. The same is true in being angry with God. If someone expects something from God but does not receive it, their anger towards God betrays their judgment of Him. I did not suggest, as you allude, that a person should not express their emotions when they are felt, I suggest that an acknowledgement of one's emotions need to be expressed, and then understood. To express one's emotions but then fail to understand the foundation from which these emotions sprang only perpetuates one's confusion and furthers one's expectations of false outcomes. The truth will set us free from all error. In Failing to recognize that our ego [pride] is driven by emotional reactions as a means of making us "feel" justified" keeps us enslaved through our pride and not set free from this morass of false emotions which are based on having false expectations..

 

[Miss Shelby]

Good Lord the young man is upset and hurt about an unrequited attraction and he gets everything from spiritual advice to a psychological profile compiled. Awakened sin, life is full of ups and downs, triumphs and disappointments, God will not tell you exactly what to do but rather walk you through in the good times and the bad. If you digest anything from all this, I hope it is as little as that. We can't know everything all at once, that's why we have to live on earth and learn life's lessons,

 

[Awakened Sin]

If you made a promise to God, why do you think that now you can break it when it is no longer convenient/comfortable/self-satisfying for you to keep it?

I did not make the promise to God, for if I broke it, it would not be as bad. The answer I want is if I should keep this promise or not, if it's the right promise. For the future. I would be happy with either answer.

And then give Him the curtsey of listening to what He has to say to you. If your prayers are not answered, He is trying to tell you something. Are you listening?

I thought I was listening that's the thing. If I have not gotten an answer that means I wasn't listening but I am.

mad at God cause you didn't get the girl? You'll live through this, and probably more trials in life. In the end, I have a feeling you will not be blaming God.

God gave us free will and he cannot give me a girl magically against their will. I am not mad that I didn't get the girl, disappointed, yes. I'm mad because if God did give me an answer and that answer was her dating some other guy, I'm sorry but that answer took too long. My feelings developed a lot more during the time. If he had given me an answer from the start, I wouldn't be mad. But God has his reasons.

This does raise a valid point. A vow to God should not be taken lightly. It actually should be discouraged, if at all possible, do not make deals with anyone, especially if there is a chance you can not keep your end of the bargain. But from what OP described, this girl seems to just be looking at him next. Maybe she has already finished with those she placed ahead of him. I think the distinction is, to follow what God is saying, rather than make some decision to bargain for some perceived personal gain. The whole thing about Christianity, as Jesus demonstrated perfectly, is we do not live for ourselves (sure is easy to say, but think about that).

The promise was to myself because I know promises to God are discouraged.

And, one final thought: how do you know that your future "perfect mate" is not slipping right out of your fingertips because you made a foolish vow that has caused you to suffer internal conflict? Huh? I'll bet she's pretty cute too. Without a vow, you're free to respond to God's spirit as He moves within you, moment by moment; with a vow, you're enslaved to your own imagination.

You make a valid point. That's why I've been praying to God to see if this is the right promise. If had had someone "special" for me then he would say something about my promise, right?

I'm pretty sure I responded to all my questions. I don't know if I explained to you why I made this promise. It was because I dated two people in my life (I know tons of experience) and both relationships lasted about a week. Simply, because the girls stopped liking me. After this I realized relationships aren't for me. And I don't think I like to be in a relationship. Though in my heart I truly want to be in one. My brain (logic) tells me that it won't work. I'm afraid to be in relationships now because I fear that they will just stop liking me. Which is what I was constantly thinking about during my last relationship and it happened. So, I made the promise, not to date to myself, not God. After writing this, I am happy to say that I am glad I didn't break my promise especially with a girl like that. Unfortunately, my faith is faltering.I still believe in God and I say that because I still fear about going to hell if I denounced him. I literally grew up in the Church so I know a bit. I know in times like this it's best to go to church, but I find myself not wanting to go. I know I should be praying every day which I've done for the past years, but I have not prayed in three days. A few days ago I even hid everything in my room that reminded me of God, my bible, rosary, shirts, crosses, etc.

Please tell me if I have not answered a question, yet.

 

[oi_antz]

The promise was to myself because I know promises to God are discouraged.

Why did you make this promise? I discourage promises to anyone. This one seems worst, you have committed to being against yourself, and possibly missing a good opportunity due to pride. Just unpromise it then and use wisdom lol!