Disclaimer: just a rant of mine.
Ive posted about this before, but its not getting better. I dont want to go to hell (duh) but heaven really doesnt look much better. All I see are Christians going on about how they cant wait to worship forever at God's feet and I feel like crap cause tbh, that sounds horrible to me. Dont get me wrong, I have no problem worshipping att God's feet. In fact I look forward to it, but forever? Thats all we do? And its biblically backed as well that thats all we do?! I just dont know anymore. I dont want eternal pain, but I also dont want to be stripped of everything that makes me, me, and forced to do one thing forever. I just wanna stop existing at this point after death, cause neither option looks very good. Maybe im just not spiritual enough?! Idk, I just dont see why I should be excited about loosing all variety in life. Why should I be excited knowing that the things I love doing now (non sinful of course) will be squashed in the end?! Nothing matters! Cause everything I do will become useless, as im stuck in perpetual bowing and singing...idk man, whats the point? Why did God give me these desires to create, just to be like "yeahhhh nope, imma take that now". I dont understand!
Ive posted about this before, but its not getting better. I dont want to go to hell (duh) but heaven really doesnt look much better. All I see are Christians going on about how they cant wait to worship forever at God's feet and I feel like crap cause tbh, that sounds horrible to me. Dont get me wrong, I have no problem worshipping att God's feet. In fact I look forward to it, but forever? Thats all we do? And its biblically backed as well that thats all we do?! I just dont know anymore. I dont want eternal pain, but I also dont want to be stripped of everything that makes me, me, and forced to do one thing forever. I just wanna stop existing at this point after death, cause neither option looks very good. Maybe im just not spiritual enough?! Idk, I just dont see why I should be excited about loosing all variety in life. Why should I be excited knowing that the things I love doing now (non sinful of course) will be squashed in the end?! Nothing matters! Cause everything I do will become useless, as im stuck in perpetual bowing and singing...idk man, whats the point? Why did God give me these desires to create, just to be like "yeahhhh nope, imma take that now". I dont understand!