My husband and I have been married for 10 years now. We have 3 kids together. My daughter, 15, his daughter, 14, and our son, 9. I have always had sort-of a rocky relationship with my step-daughter, but it has gotten really bad in the last year.
It started going really sour sometime last summer. I don't really recall exactly what happened, but it involved her mother and older sister (who is not my husband's daughter). To make a long story short, her mother and I had a decent relationship off and on as well as her sister. Her sister had just had a baby at the age of 18, and I helped her enroll in college which she just dropped out of. Anyway, she has made a lot of poor choices, just as we all have. After trying to give her some motherly advice, both the mother and sister subsequently blocked me on Facebook and stopped talking to me altogether. This is when my relationship with my step-daughter started to turn.
To try and mend things a bit, I got my step-daughter a tablet for Christmas. To which her response when she opened the gift, "What do I need this for? I just got a kindle and an ipod from my mom." This obviously hurt my feelings and made me angry. Rather than thanking me for the gift and accepting it, she acts like a spoiled brat and practically throws it in my face. This obviously did not help our relationship any.
A couple months later, she calls her dad and tells him that she doesn't want to come to our house anymore. (She lives with her mom mostly and visits every other weekend and during the summer.) Torn up by this, my husband doesn't know what to do. I told him that he needs to stop giving into her. He has always been very easy on her and much stricter with our other 2 kids. So he eventually told her that that wasn't an option and he and her mother went to mediation.
Well, fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She was at her mother's for the weekend, so I sent her a random text message saying, "Hi. I love you!" I sent this on Friday afternoon. She didn't come back to our house til Monday night. She did not once respond to my text even ignoring about 10 calls, declining the last 3 or 4 calls, I made throughout Monday to find out her work schedule for the week to coordinate babysitting for my son the rest of the week.
Yes, I was hurt and angry. My husband eventually guilted her into apologizing. Which fixed things, temporarily.
Today, I talked to the girls (both my daughter and step-daughter) about saving some money for our trip to Arizona and California in December. My step-daughter's reaction... "I don't wanna go." Okay, I was confused. We had been talking about this trip for a couple months now, so what has changed. She was very excited about the trip, but now...? My husband talked to her mother about it, to which she replied, "But we have a family tradition of being together on Christmas." Okay, aren't we her family, too? We are going to AZ and CA to visit my parents and brother and sister-in-law. Then of course, Disney and such... What kid would not want to go?
I don't get it. My husband and I got into another fight over her, because I told her she was acting like her older sister. Okay, well she was. I am tired of fighting with my husband over this kid. I can't do anything right by her. I try and include her in things and then I end up doing something wrong which leads to another fight with my husband.
It started going really sour sometime last summer. I don't really recall exactly what happened, but it involved her mother and older sister (who is not my husband's daughter). To make a long story short, her mother and I had a decent relationship off and on as well as her sister. Her sister had just had a baby at the age of 18, and I helped her enroll in college which she just dropped out of. Anyway, she has made a lot of poor choices, just as we all have. After trying to give her some motherly advice, both the mother and sister subsequently blocked me on Facebook and stopped talking to me altogether. This is when my relationship with my step-daughter started to turn.
To try and mend things a bit, I got my step-daughter a tablet for Christmas. To which her response when she opened the gift, "What do I need this for? I just got a kindle and an ipod from my mom." This obviously hurt my feelings and made me angry. Rather than thanking me for the gift and accepting it, she acts like a spoiled brat and practically throws it in my face. This obviously did not help our relationship any.
A couple months later, she calls her dad and tells him that she doesn't want to come to our house anymore. (She lives with her mom mostly and visits every other weekend and during the summer.) Torn up by this, my husband doesn't know what to do. I told him that he needs to stop giving into her. He has always been very easy on her and much stricter with our other 2 kids. So he eventually told her that that wasn't an option and he and her mother went to mediation.
Well, fast forward to 2 weeks ago. She was at her mother's for the weekend, so I sent her a random text message saying, "Hi. I love you!" I sent this on Friday afternoon. She didn't come back to our house til Monday night. She did not once respond to my text even ignoring about 10 calls, declining the last 3 or 4 calls, I made throughout Monday to find out her work schedule for the week to coordinate babysitting for my son the rest of the week.
Yes, I was hurt and angry. My husband eventually guilted her into apologizing. Which fixed things, temporarily.
Today, I talked to the girls (both my daughter and step-daughter) about saving some money for our trip to Arizona and California in December. My step-daughter's reaction... "I don't wanna go." Okay, I was confused. We had been talking about this trip for a couple months now, so what has changed. She was very excited about the trip, but now...? My husband talked to her mother about it, to which she replied, "But we have a family tradition of being together on Christmas." Okay, aren't we her family, too? We are going to AZ and CA to visit my parents and brother and sister-in-law. Then of course, Disney and such... What kid would not want to go?
I don't get it. My husband and I got into another fight over her, because I told her she was acting like her older sister. Okay, well she was. I am tired of fighting with my husband over this kid. I can't do anything right by her. I try and include her in things and then I end up doing something wrong which leads to another fight with my husband.