I love you, but I don't like you

[ido]

So, another comment has raised this question in my mind:

We are called to love someone with Christian love, but does that mean we have to like them?

I can honestly think of a lot of people that I don't jive with, but I do care about their well-being as a person. My ex-husband would be a perfect example. I don't like much about him at all, but I have Christian love for him and don't wish him any ill will. If anything, I wish we could get along better for the sake of the person.

So - are you capable of loving someone that you don't like? More importantly, is there scripture that states that we have to like everyone?

 

[RosaVernal]

Oh man, I dislike people.

<insert one of my rants about the suck factor of people here>

But, I still love them, imperfect as they are. It's just... really trying to remind myself why I treat people with basic dignity.

 

[ido]

Right. It's tough to battle the whole "give respect to get respect" idea...but sometimes, me avoiding a person is as respectful as I can muster.

 

[RosaVernal]

sometimes, me avoiding a person is as respectful as I can muster.

qft

I have that exact feeling for my female cousin's bisexual furry boyfriend, so I know just how you feel.

 

[GuacaMolly]

No, I'm not capable of loving people I don't like. Those are the times that God loves through me, although I don't always succeed in allowing Him.

An example of someone I don't like (can't stand) but love and serve is my grandmother. Seriously, y'all don't even know. People say that their families are crazy, but I have yet to meet anyone like this woman. The only reason I haven't fled to the Yucatan peninsula or said something regrettable is because of God through me.

 

[radhead]

Some people are too sensitive. We should try to treat everyone the same, at least the first time we meet them. You can't know or understand a person whom you've just met.

 

[Sophrosyne]

just sum it up like this "love the sinner, hate the sin".
Jesus didn't go around and tell the pharisees.... I really love you guys so much..... he told them they needed to change and layed into them with his comments that were to try and open their eyes to hypocrisy.
We love people in Christ because he loved them on the cross and all are potential Christians only an acceptance of God's gift away from being a part of the body of Christ for eternity. Sin is still a huge problem, I do not like many Christians because of sin.... some mine, some theirs...lol

 

[traingosorry]

I had never really had this put to the test for me until my dad ran into some hard times in his life. I grew up having immense spite towards him and held in a lot of anger, but I can honestly say that I do wish and hope for the best for him and I love him. When he struggles my heart breaks for him.

 

[Carrye]

So - are you capable of loving someone that you don't like? More importantly, is there scripture that states that we have to like everyone?

We're commanded to love people, regardless of our affection toward them; we don't have to like everyone (or anyone). Loving them means desiring their good - in temporal and eternal things. Love is an action, the result of a free choice ... not the height of emotion.

Christ didn't say, "like one another as I have liked you" or "like your neighbor as yourself." (Thankfully).

 

[mina]

Sometimes it's HARD for mina to love certain others. And i have to ask God to show me how to love them. Usually testy people are put in our lives to help refine our rough edges and make us more like Christ. I find that God won't remove testies from my life until i truly learn to love. And i may not like them, but part of love is not letting them know that. Some people over the years have even said that very thing to me " I love you, but i don't like you". It's usually not a good idea to let someone know you feel that way about them. God is a bottomless well of love and He wants us to become that way too. There is always love. Even for the testies. Lord, knows i've been a testy to Him enough.

 

[ido]

No, I'm not capable of loving people I don't like. Those are the times that God loves through me, although I don't always succeed in allowing Him.

An example of someone I don't like (can't stand) but love and serve is my grandmother. Seriously, y'all don't even know. People say that their families are crazy, but I have yet to meet anyone like this woman. The only reason I haven't fled to the Yucatan peninsula or said something regrettable is because of God through me.

My co-worker's mom tried to run her over with a car when she was 18. I'm thinking that would be a woman who would be hard to like!

 

[ido]

Some people are too sensitive. We should try to treat everyone the same, at least the first time we meet them. You can't know or understand a person whom you've just met.

We're not merely talking about first impressions. I've known my ex-husband for 20 years, but it's only been the last 2 1/2 years that I've grown to not like him.

 

[ido]

just sum it up like this "love the sinner, hate the sin".
Jesus didn't go around and tell the pharisees.... I really love you guys so much..... he told them they needed to change and layed into them with his comments that were to try and open their eyes to hypocrisy.
We love people in Christ because he loved them on the cross and all are potential Christians only an acceptance of God's gift away from being a part of the body of Christ for eternity. Sin is still a huge problem, I do not like many Christians because of sin.... some mine, some theirs...lol

Great post.

 

[ido]

I had never really had this put to the test for me until my dad ran into some hard times in his life. I grew up having immense spite towards him and held in a lot of anger, but I can honestly say that I do wish and hope for the best for him and I love him. When he struggles my heart breaks for him.

I am friends with some siblings who have struggled in their relationships with both of their parents. I'm sorry that you have had to struggle with your relationship with your dad - but I'm glad that you have come to a place of being able to care about him.

We're commanded to love people, regardless of our affection toward them; we don't have to like everyone (or anyone). Loving them means desiring their good - in temporal and eternal things. Love is an action, the result of a free choice ... not the height of emotion.

Christ didn't say, "like one another as I have liked you" or "like your neighbor as yourself." (Thankfully).

QFT

Sometimes it's HARD for mina to love certain others. And i have to ask God to show me how to love them. Usually testy people are put in our lives to help refine our rough edges and make us more like Christ. I find that God won't remove testies from my life until i truly learn to love. And i may not like them, but part of love is not letting them know that. Some people over the years have even said that very thing to me " I love you, but i don't like you". It's usually not a good idea to let someone know you feel that way about them. God is a bottomless well of love and He wants us to become that way too. There is always love. Even for the testies. Lord, knows i've been a testy to Him enough.

Another awesome post - and so true! So much of our having to deal with people that we love, but don't like, is learning to let go of not liking them.

 

[mina]

and i usually find, for me anyhows, that if i don't learn my lesson in loving- God might remove them but He'll send another along that is even more testy than before So the lesson is: Learn your lessons the first time!!!

 

[ido]

and i usually find, for me anyhows, that if i don't learn my lesson in loving- God might remove them but He'll send another along that is even more testy than before So the lesson is: Learn your lessons the first time!!!

sister!!!!

 

[CoachR64]

Rad, I understand what you are saying, but i do not think we should treat everyone the same. I think we should be fair to all, and fair does not mean equal. Different people have different needs and treating them all the same way usually does not work.

I think it is perfectly fine to not like someone, but still love them as a human and care about their well being. There are people in this world that I dislike, but that does not mean I want or would experienced joys from a bad incident occurring to that person.

Coach

 

[radhead]

I agree that it's God testing us. The number of "jerks" we each come into contact with is the perfect number placed there by God. When God looks down and sees that we have some growing that needs to take place, he pours down a bucket of jerks into our lives. If we have a lot of growing to do He might pour down a large economy sized bucket.

 

[radhead]

All I know is that God has given us (believers) the supernatural power to love anyone. Anytime we fail to do that we are missing the mark.

 

[ido]

All I know is that God has given us (believers) the supernatural power to love anyone. Anytime we fail to do that we are missing the mark.

No one here is disputing that fact.