I know this is touchy, but we're all adults here...

[cmarie423]

Okay if you're offended by talking about birth control read no further. If not I have some important questions. My understanding is that any form of birth control in the RCC in NOT permitted unless for cleared reasons with your priest (Hormonal issues or something? So I've heard) unless of course it's natural family planning and even then you still must be open to the possibility of life, etc. I'm pretty sure I have it down. So that being said. I have an implant in my arm. Is keeping this in a sin? Do I have to take it out, like immediately? Is every single form of birth control prohibited even if it doesn't cause abortion and only inhibits ovulation? How does one support multiple children? My husband and I really have a hard time even with 3. That being said I'm extremely pro life. Just not sure how strict the church is on family planning.

 

[RileyG]

This is a question for your confessor, not us. It is NOT black and white.

For ANYONE to point and say "That's a sin! That's a sin" is far too legalistic rather than looking at the motives behind the sins.

Hope I helped.

God Bless.

 

[stray bullet]

Okay if you're offended by talking about birth control read no further. If not I have some important questions. My understanding is that any form of birth control in the RCC in NOT permitted unless for cleared reasons with your priest (Hormonal issues or something? So I've heard) unless of course it's natural family planning and even then you still must be open to the possibility of life, etc. I'm pretty sure I have it down. So that being said. I have an implant in my arm. Is keeping this in a sin? Do I have to take it out, like immediately? Is every single form of birth control prohibited even if it doesn't cause abortion and only inhibits ovulation? How does one support multiple children? My husband and I really have a hard time even with 3. That being said I'm extremely pro life. Just not sure how strict the church is on family planning.

Using natural family planning is not permitted unless there is a serious reason approved by your priest to practice it.

Artificial birth control is not permitted unless it is used for a reason outside of not getting pregnant from marital relations. If you are on a pill or other medication it is perfectly fine to use as long as your intent is not to avoid pregnancy.

For example, if you hate cramps and go on birth control to stop or reduce your period, then you are a perfectly good Catholic.

 

[Rhamiel]

medicine can be used
so if you take a medicine that has birth control as a side effect, it is my understanding that is ok

natural family planning can be used if you have a legitimate reason to want to postpone having children
the stress of more kids and economic concerns are legitimate reasons

all forms of birth control go against Gods design for sex
so ones that prevent ovulation fall into that category

 

[Rhamiel]

Using natural family planning is not permitted unless there is a serious reason approved by your priest to practice it.

you need your pastors approval?
can you cite a Church authority that says that?

 

[stray bullet]

you need your pastors approval?
can you cite a Church authority that says that?

In order to deliberately abstain during times of fertility there must be some "grave reason."

 

[Rhamiel]

In order to deliberately abstain during times of fertility there must be some "grave reason."

true, I agree with that
but grave does not only mean life threatening
if the parents do not have the resources (either financial or emotional/psychological) to properly care for more children, that would also count as a grace reason would it not?

and it is my understanding that the married couple is able to discern if their situation is properly "grave"
ofcourse it is very good to seek the council of your Pastor, he is to be a spiritual father to you
but it is not a prerequisite to get his "approval" to use NFP

this is just how I understand it
I am not trying to argue with you, if you have a source that contradicts anything I said, I will ofcourse defer to the wisdom of the Church

 

[stray bullet]

true, I agree with that
but grave does not only mean life threatening
if the parents do not have the resources (either financial or emotional/psychological) to properly care for more children, that would also count as a grace reason would it not?

That would constitute a grave reason.

[and it is my understanding that the married couple is able to discern if their situation is properly "grave"
ofcourse it is very good to seek the council of your Pastor, he is to be a spiritual father to you
but it is not a prerequisite to get his "approval" to use NFP[/quote]

That's not a black and white matter at this point.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Natural family planning was a real hell for my wife and I. I thank God we're not dealing with it anymore, but if you want to remain Catholic, I'd say that needs to come out of your arm. ABC is forbidden in the Carholic Church and it's just de fide.

 

[stray bullet]

.

 

[Rhamiel]

are you back to being EO @gurneyhalleck1 ?

I have heard from a lot of people who had a hard time with NFP
I have heard from a lot of people who said it saved their marriage

either way, artificial birth control is a moral evil that distorts the nature of sex

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

It was a long five months of discernment, prayer, anguish, and soul-searching. See my thread in TAW, bro. God bless!

I disagree on birth control, but it is your forum and YOU are consistent in what the CC teaches! Thumbs up.

are you back to being EO @gurneyhalleck1 ?

I have heard from a lot of people who had a hard time with NFP
I have heard from a lot of people who said it saved their marriage

either way, artificial birth control is a moral evil that distorts the nature of sex

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

My wife and I collapsed before we got married; it's not something we're really proud about. . We really failed on that front. But luckily despite it being a sin and NOT a good thing, at least we were both the only people each other had been with and still that is true today!

We confessed our failings in that regard when we got married; and I HIGHLY recommend to young people to stay tough and fight the good fight. But after marriage we used birth control. We were Anglicans at the time. We went Catholic and I got on my Scott Hahn Catholic Answers Jimmy Akin EWTN hardcore state of life and we dropped ABC. We used NFP conservatively, cautiously, the sympto-thermal, whole nine yards, and were all into the Kipley book and methodology. But we had 3 kids in 3.5 years! Do the math! My wife slipped into post-pardem depression, was miserable and crying all the time, intimacy was ruined and we felt like teenagers, and my wife almost died during the third pregnancy when she had to have an emergency C-section. It was nightmarish. We were D-O-N-E at that point. And I struggled HARD in my faith at that time. I won't get into any more details than that. There was more....

In Orthodoxy we permit birth control in concert with a spiritual Father's input and recommendations, but we encourage good-sized families. However, we don't believe in having more than we can properly take care of.

I read a book by Father John Meyendorff, one of my favorite Orthodox writers/priests and this book was about the Orthodox vision of family. Birth control was addressed extensively. It was super refreshing stuff!

Waiting until marriage and natural family planning was a real hell for my girlfriend and I. That's why we use multiple methods to prevent pregnancy.

 

[RKO]

This is a question for your confessor, not us. It is NOT black and white.

For ANYONE to point and say "That's a sin! That's a sin" is far too legalistic rather than looking at the motives behind the sins.

Hope I helped.

God Bless.

Exactly this. Forums are a terrible place to ask for input on such an important decision, because we all will tell you what we think based on our own understanding and issues. Talk it over with a priest, and then be at peace with the decision you make.

 

[benedictaoo]

Carrie please takes this from someone who been down this road for over 20 years.

You need to pray to seek Gods will in this. The Church does not permit ABC. That is correct but the Church also does not say you must have kids if you can not afford them, do not have a stable marriage, do not have good health, ect...

This is where you have to discern this prayerfully and sincerely. If you don't have a spouse 100% in agreement, its just not going to work. You have to discern this. This is an individual situation, you have a lot of things to considered and all of us can only do what we can do.

 

[Fantine]

Just looked at your profile pic. You have a beautiful family and I can see they keep you and your husband really busy. God bless you all.

 

[MikeK]

Contracepting is a gravely evil act. Like all grave evils, in order for us to have a mortal or even venial sin on our conscience from them we must have full freedom to act otherwise. That might not be the case for every individual and you should discuss it with your spiritual director.

This teaching is hard for many to accept, but no harder than teachings that homosexuals may not be sexually active with each other. Consider that many married Saints chose to live in Josephite marriages in service to the Lord. Consider also that your marriage may or may not survive either NFP or a Josephite marriae and what is best for your family. Living a faithful life of service is not intended to be easy:/
Consider also that Jimmy Akin once claimed that saving up for a goal like finishing school or something is not sufficient reason to resort to using NFP and that NFP is not intended to be a long term thing, users who opt for the method should consider their decision every month to determine whether they still have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy. Using NFP without serious reason is also an evil, it is something that might be resorted to but not without sincere soul searching.

Personally, we practiced NFP diligently and had 5 kids in under 8 years (the last 3 while trying to avoid) and my wife prayerfully considered having her tubes tied and went through with it. I don't judge her for it and she's at peace with God over her decision, so I'm okay with it.

Should you choose to practice NFP, know going in that the claimed 99% effective rates need to be taken with a very large asterisk. The German study that found that result rejected women with difficult to interpret fertility signs, uncommonly short and uncommonly long cycles and a few other not-unusual circumstances from participation. It is somewhat akin to saying that 99% of women can run a mile in under 8 minutes, but women over 120 lbs, under 16 years of age and over 30 years of age are excluded.

 

[cmarie423]

Thanks guys. I know that the forum isn't the end all be all of answers. I only ask because I do enjoy seeing everyone's different beliefs on the matter and I really like versatile input. From what you all said it does completely make sense. I think this is one of the hardest issues with me about the church. (and I am going to talk to my priest but that is beside the point) I would assume that in our circumstances it would be different because I'm sick and pregnancy seriously takes a toll on my body, but I do want to try to do what is right regardless. I feel like this is the hardest issue to have accurate discernment on.

 

[Tallguy88]

This is a question for your confessor, not us. It is NOT black and white.

For ANYONE to point and say "That's a sin! That's a sin" is far too legalistic rather than looking at the motives behind the sins.

Hope I helped.

God Bless.

[/thread]

 

[Tallguy88]

Natural family planning was a real hell for my wife and I. I thank God we're not dealing with it anymore, but if you want to remain Catholic, I'd say that needs to come out of your arm. ABC is forbidden in the Carholic Church and it's just de fide.

A man is not required to have a vasectomy undone, just to be contrite and go to confession. How is the arm thing any different?