I just need to rant

[laura_lynn]

What a silly way to do it, but I am so upset that I can't even think straight; I just had a fight with my dad about something stupid, but it turned into a big yelling match and him telling me that all of my efforts to reach out to inner city kids in the past couple weeks, which I have pretty much put in four hours each night for the past two weeks, are worthless because it's just a phase I am in, it went on from there to saying that my life is a lie and so on. Do you guys know how it feels to feel so helplessly upset? When you can't stop crying and your throat hurts because it's so tight and you get all shaky? ... how do we DEAL with that? Is it somehow sinful?
What do you guys do when you get into this sort of situation? IT SUCKS! Words can really hurt sometimes... maybe there's something about fathers swearing and throwing insults that hurts particularly more than usual, since it's the person who raised you saying them.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Pray (and not just for a few minutes). God will help you. Also, it really helps when praying as its hard to be angry when doing it. And lastly, forgive him. That will make a world of difference.

 

[Caelum]

Blow off all that he says, it's just a phase.

 

[Rafael]

Yep. It hurts special bad to have parents disapprove, but Jesus warned us that families and households would be seperated over Him.....Love your Dad anyways, and honor him with your love.

Mt 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

Mt 24:10 And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

 

[rogsr]

Caring for children, that are suffering, for any amount of time is better then nothing at all. It is probably just a phase, a beginning phase of a deeper and more beautiful love for your neighbor. When everyone seems as though they are against us, but we come in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ then we are not alone at all, we have power. That was not your father talking to you, that was satan trying to crush your resolve. That old liar, that old murderer, he stalks us constantly as a lion stalks its prey. Go to your place of service and love those little children with a pure and virtuous love; drive a spear, made of the finest golden love, deep into that devils black spirit. Make him pay for his attack on you by giving more love. The Lord is our shield, and our spear. He is our victory over the evil one. I will pray for you.

 

[Blindfaith316]

Ephesians 6:4 - And, ye fathers, provokenot your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.


your Dad was out of line, pray, and follow the Lord's leading... may you be blessed in your ministry.

 

[allieisme]

Your dad was out of line but IMO he was probably looking out for your best interest. What you can do is for one, YOU can prove him wrong about what your doing and that it is not a phase. and like the others said, your going to have to pray about it, not just for the situation, but ask God to change your dad's heart about this, if it is something you really love doing, maybe you could even take your dad down into the inner cities with you to see what you go through down there with witnessing to people

 

[laura_lynn]

Thanks for the replies!! In response to some of them:
No, he does not do it because he's interested in my wellbeing, he does it to break me down. He always drills the point that I am worthless, because he knows that's what I hate to hear the most. I'm just wondering if, as Christians, we're supposed to just take the insults without yelling back or whatever. In my situation, if I walk away, he threatens to kick me out of the house and live somewhere else ... so I CANNOT just walk away. Not saying that I don't stand up for myself, I do.

Raphe was saying something about how this could be an attack of the devil ... What do you all think of that? Do you agree, or was it just someone choosing to be mean? I can't imagine satan, speaking through someone in that context, but I guess he could influence thoughts. And what a time when people are letting their thoughts out on someone with the intent of hurting their feelings. I will pray about this, that's the best advice anyone could have given.

... turning this conversation to something that applies to more people than just myself, does anyone know how satan chooses to influence? or his tactics and such?

Thanks!
Laura.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Just calmly explain things to him. Act so nice that he sees his folly. And, forgive him. Keep forgiving him.

 

[allieisme]

... turning this conversation to something that applies to more people than just myself, does anyone know how satan chooses to influence? or his tactics and such?

I dont think satan chooses out of influence, he tries to get at you while your down so you'll stay donw in a sense, his tactics are easy...once your distracted he thinks its easier to get to you that way..

 

[KatacrossthePond]

((((laura_lynn))))

Hang in there - you know that what you are doing is worthwhile. And yes, it hurts when your dad attacks you. Even psychologists agree that it's your dad you get your significance as a person from (as a child) and that doesn't stop when you're an adult.

But - remember you're an adult. Listen to him when he rants, forgive him (note: this isn't a feeling, it's an act of obedience - say in your heart "God, I don't feel like it but you told me to, so I forgive him"). Learn to get your significance from Jesus and not from your father.

That's really all I can offer - I've been there, believe me. My dad doesn't approve of my life, me being a Christian, me being called into the ministry etc. If you want some private support, PM me. Or MSN me. I'll be praying for you!

Blessings
Kat

 

[Alternate Carpark]

You should first work out what it actually is that is hurting you .
Is it what he says ? If so, is what he says true or false ?

Is it because it is your dad that is saying it thus the pain is from being betrayed ?

The way to overcome is to understand why you are feeling hurt, which is to understand who you are, how you feel, why you feel etc.

Then you must completely understand that children of God have only ONE enemy and that is satan. Although satan uses people to attack us and hurt us, they are merely vessels and are not to be seen as enemies or the ones doing the hurting.
The abusers are as much victims as much as the ones receiving the abuse.

The you must know that your father is hurting very much himself to treat you this way. You may find that maybe his parents treated him in a similar way and the pain he inflicts upon you is his only way to vent the pain he is feeling.
People behave like this all the time without even realising it.

As it says "Hurting people hurt"

I feel your pain Laura Lynn, as I grew up without any love from either of my parents and I have suffered terribly for many years because of it.

But I made a vow with God after I was saved and started to comprehend these issues.
I vowed that the buck stops with me. I will do everything that I can to stop the generational dysfunctions of the family line so that my kids do not suffer what I suffered.

As for the pain you constantly suffer, I recommend allowing God's Holy Spirit to comfort you by asking Him to, you will be amazed at how good He is at this.
Also that you find your identity in God, your self esteem, your worth must all come from what God thinks and knows about you. In this way, you will find that the things that people say about you have gloriously lost their power to hurt you.

 

[HumbleBee]

Laura, since you are a Christian, your significance is now from Jesus and in His Love of all loves, especially that tiz not forthcoming from your dad. So here be Scriptures for your encouragement and edification...

Matthew 5:11-12 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for My sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Ephesians 6:10-13 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Peter 2:15, 19-24 For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men...For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God...if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps. "He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth." When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed.

Joshua 1:9 Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Isaiah 41:10-11 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness. Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing...

Isaiah 54:17 no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from Me," declares the LORD.

Revelation 12:10-11 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony...

Pray Psalm 35 and 43 and know that Jesus is on your side, fighting for you! Keep fighting the good fight of faith!