I can't take it much longer...

[ironyUSA]

I have gotten to the point where I pretty much abhor Protestant theology. It seems to lead to absurd conclusions and ridiculous characterizations of God. I talked to the local EO church and expressed my concerns and frustrations, plus I mentioned the fact that my wife is not at the point of entertaining it. He suggested that I be patient with my wife and join the church when we're ready. I point out the absurdities taught each Sunday to my wife, but I don't see this making much difference. I would love to attend the EO church independent of my family, but I'm torn.

The Protestant hermeneutic doesn't seem to include the potential bias of the inquirer and doesn't ground Biblical interpretations in anything. It pre-supposes the interpreter is always right and, to me, props up confirmation bias by design. In this way, it seems to me that the Bible, to many Protestants, is the modern Nehushtan. They balk at the idea of mystical experience, yet elevate prior human experience (in the scholastic sense).

I am sure I'm not the only one whose been in this position. I'm looking for prayer and advice.

 

[Justin-H.S.]

Couldn't you alternate Church attendance on Sundays?

 

[ironyUSA]

I would be ok with that, but she has a strong aversion to the liturgical form of worship and doesn't understand things like praying to the saints. I have tried to explain it, but she also You know, normal Protestant objections... I guess these are things I went through, but once you experience light its hard to walk in the dark.

 

[ArmyMatt]

could you try meeting the priest to talk apart from worship?

 

[Ezana]

I guess these are things I went through, but once you experience light its hard to walk in the dark.

It can be hard, alright. But yeah, try to always remember that you needed to go through these things and overcome your own struggles with Orthodoxy before you came to the point of accepting it as the Way. It’s easy to be less-than-charitable with non-Orthodox (and in particular whichever brand of Christianity you came out of) when you lose sight of your own personal journey and experiences that led you to the Church in the first place—and a lack of charity is no sure way to bring someone over to your side.

I second ArmyMatt’s suggestion; if you’re unable to independently attend the church (at this point), at least speak with the priest. Hopefully he can provide some real insight into how to navigate your situation.

 

[peregrinus2017]

My prayers to you. I became Orthodox without my family. My wife is very supportive and accepting, but doesn't see the point. I hope that changes. If your local priest thinks you should wait for your family, then you should probably wait. Try not to rail against what is wrong, but pursue what is right.

There are many things you can do even before entering the Church. I would encourage you to get an Orthodox prayer book and use it. Read some early Church Father's. If your wife is able or willing to listen, communicate honestly about the good that you are discovering. Try to practice humility, and work on your salvation, let her be drawn by the change in you.

Keep in touch with your local priest, and ask his advice on things. My priest seems to have a knack for saying the right thing even when it doesn't appear to answer the immediate issue.

If you can, attend some mid week or vesper services. Fall in love with Orthodoxy, rather than hate where you have come from. This will be a better start to your journey, and a greater witness to those around you.

My wife, like many women is primarily a relational being, and I expect will be drawn mostly by relationship, with myself and others, rather than theology and study.

Sorry for the rather rambling post. I'm giving myself advice as much as you. Your situation is something that weighs heavily on me as well.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

I have gotten to the point where I pretty much abhor Protestant theology. It seems to lead to absurd conclusions and ridiculous characterizations of God. I talked to the local EO church and expressed my concerns and frustrations, plus I mentioned the fact that my wife is not at the point of entertaining it. He suggested that I be patient with my wife and join the church when we're ready. I point out the absurdities taught each Sunday to my wife, but I don't see this making much difference. I would love to attend the EO church independent of my family, but I'm torn.

The Protestant hermeneutic doesn't seem to include the potential bias of the inquirer and doesn't ground Biblical interpretations in anything. It pre-supposes the interpreter is always right and, to me, props up confirmation bias by design. In this way, it seems to me that the Bible, to many Protestants, is the modern Nehushtan. They balk at the idea of mystical experience, yet elevate prior human experience (in the scholastic sense).

I am sure I'm not the only one whose been in this position. I'm looking for prayer and advice.

Probably you do need to attend a bit apart from your family.

I can however attest to what happens to some folks who convert apart from their wife etc. Their was this guy I knew from another board years ago... He had had a spiritual identity crises every 3 months for years, oscillating from Protestant to Orthodox because his wife was die hard against Orthodoxy for years. That however changed a few years ago, where his wife converted etc. and now he can finally be happy. But there are tons of anecdotes of stories like that.... so many priests etc. will often want to get you as a package deal than to go through that kind of drama.

 

[bèlla]

I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how it feels to long for your spiritual home. But I've been on the other side of that comment too. External pressure and negative comments regarding our relationship with God and beliefs is painful. You can pierce the person in a tender place unintentionally and impact their mindset negatively.

Love is the answer. This is your wife. I'm sure there are many situations when your desires won out and she took a back seat. This is a serious subject. You want her to embrace Orthodoxy while holding a poor view of Protestantism.

If you set aside your offense you may reach a compromise. But love and respect can't be forsaken. Stop nitpicking her faith. You'll make her dig in her heels. Why would she want to be part of something that demeans her relationship with God? I wouldn't.

Leave her alone. If God wants to move her He'll do it. You're turning her off.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[ironyUSA]

I should be clear that I don't bludgeon my wife with theology. Rather, I ask her reflective questions and while she sees all the flaws in the denomination's teaching, it doesn't seem enough to move her away from her comfort zone. I vented my frustration at Protestantism and continually attending a place where I find many of the teachings patently absurd. Said another way, I feel as if I'm compromising on truth for the sake of emotions.

 

[ArmyMatt]

I still think if you can, go to a neutral place to just talk to a priest if he can, like a coffee shop or something.

 

[E.C.]

I should be clear that I don't bludgeon my wife with theology. Rather, I ask her reflective questions and while she sees all the flaws in the denomination's teaching, it doesn't seem enough to move her away from her comfort zone. I vented my frustration at Protestantism and continually attending a place where I find many of the teachings patently absurd. Said another way, I feel as if I'm compromising on truth for the sake of emotions.

Welcome to TAW!


Be careful with trying to point out flaws of Protestantism because whenever we try to point out the faults of another Christian body's way of doing things people within that body tend to become more defensive about it therefore producing the opposite desired result.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Welcome to TAW!


Be careful with trying to point out flaws of Protestantism because whenever we try to point out the faults of another Christian body's way of doing things people within that body tend to become more defensive about it therefore producing the opposite desired result.

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