I am so concerned - he will soon be living off of me...

[98cwitr]

Yes, when I moved with him -- he already had HUGE expenses. He makes good money of course -- but now he is taking a huge risk in starting his own business.

I guess I just wonder why someone in this position wouldn't just decide to find another employer instead of take a 200k business loan -- to only tell me he expects that it won't work very well.

I do not know how to leave him -- even though I literally and watching my life slip away.

Even today - I was busy working in the car -- trying to get something finished on deadline and he was very annoyed that I had been ignoring him. He said jokingly "do I need to go find a girlfriend...someone who still loves me? Since you don't seem to anymore..."

He says these kinds of things ALL the time -- as a joke.

You do know how to leave him...you're choosing not to. Put your feelings aside for the sake of your well being. I know what codependency is like, and it's only hard until you make your mind up. YOU have to choose this, not him, not some people on a forum. Get a place, get your stuff, convert your bills, and move out. It's literally that simple.

"If I ask to separate money - I know (after many fights) that he will say I'm not a team player and he will end our relationship."

Well put him to the test then!

 

[DZoolander]

Why anyone wastes a keystroke trying to dispense advice to this person is beyond me. They have a history of coming here year after year with minor variations of the same story. Maybe I could understand if people believed something along the lines of "Hey, sometimes it takes a while to get through to people" - but the fact that they flat out deny that they're the same person throws that to the wind.

That, in and of itself, makes the whole thing really suspect and not worthy of any more effort trying to effectuate a change.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

He is 49. This will be his third marriage.

Thats all I needed to see to stop reading. RUN fast and far. This is beyond a red flag moment. This is like a moment where an asteroid is headed towards the planet kind of thing. Get away from him.

 

[DZoolander]

This specific poster loves scenarios like that.