Husband who doesn't want anymore kids

[snoochface]

How selfish is it to have a kid one parent doesn't want? How is that good for the kid?

 

[cherryblossom03]

How selfish is it to have a kid one parent doesn't want? How is that good for the kid?

I was wondering that too. What if it's God's will for their life that they NOT have anymore children? Why is the person who doesn't want anymore children always the one "ouside" of God's will? What if the person who does want more children isn't listening to what God is telling them?

 

[GolfingMom]

I was wondering that too. What if it's God's will for their life that they NOT have anymore children? Why is the person who doesn't want anymore children always the one "ouside" of God's will? What if the person who does want more children isn't listening to what God is telling them?

agree.

 

[Nella Fantasia]

I was wondering that too. What if it's God's will for their life that they NOT have anymore children? Why is the person who doesn't want anymore children always the one "ouside" of God's will? What if the person who does want more children isn't listening to what God is telling them?

Excellent point

 

[JohnDB]

I was a bit nervous when I remarried about my son and her son...and all of us meshing together well.
My wife and son though get along famously...there are times that he would rather play with her than me... :o(
She loves him as well. She and he are great together. But she also was nervous about meeting him and getting to know him and wondered about it all...but then the two of them grew on to each other and all is well now.

We wish we could have more...but it isn't in the cards for us.
The op has a large family now. He might have some really good reasons for not wanting any more children...a good dad does think, "What if....." for the good of the rest of the family. Only a foolish person doesn't "count the cost" of adding members to a family.

Children can be blessings to their parents...or curses...it is dependant upon parenting styles and children's personalities and ability to afford them.
(I think my parents still feel robbed on their end LOL)

 

[TrustingWife]

A very similar situation has happened in my marriage. My husband was happy to welcome children and always talked of having at least 6 daughters and as many sons as came along with them; then gradually the way of the world crept in to his thinking and he decided he didn't want anymore. He wanted to 'have a life'.

I am devastated by this change of heart.

I am praying that either the Lord will change my heart or my husbands but at the moment the hurt is so enormous that I fear it is going to overcome us (there are other issues too, it is not just the 'too many children' thing that is driving a wedge between us).

Christian men: Seek the face of the Lord because satan is at work in the Christian community and at present everywhere I look I see him winning and Christian marriages/families falling by the way. He is the great deciever and he will seek to fool you any way he can. Be vigilant.

 

[snoochface]

A very similar situation has happened in my marriage. My husband was happy to welcome children and always talked of having at least 6 daughters and as many sons as came along with them; then gradually the way of the world crept in to his thinking and he decided he didn't want anymore. He wanted to 'have a life'.

I am devastated by this change of heart.

I am praying that either the Lord will change my heart or my husbands but at the moment the hurt is so enormous that I fear it is going to overcome us (there are other issues too, it is not just the 'too many children' thing that is driving a wedge between us).

Christian men: Seek the face of the Lord because satan is at work in the Christian community and at present everywhere I look I see him winning and Christian marriages/families falling by the way. He is the great deciever and he will seek to fool you any way he can. Be vigilant.

Christian women should do this as well.

I'm very sorry for your pain. I can tell from your words here that it is extremely difficult for you that your husband had this change of heart. This is a very similar situation to the OP's, and the primary reason why so many of us feel he needs to discuss the situation with her quickly, so she is not continuing to believe that another child will be in her future with him.

I just wanted to say, though, that it's very possible this is God's will for your life, that you not have any more children. It's not a foregone conclusion that your husband is wrong in being satisfied with the number of kids you have, and that he is the one who needs to seek God on this. I was glad to see you were praying for God to change your heart or your husband's, and I pray that he will answer your prayer quickly.

 

[TrustingWife]

I just wanted to say, though, that it's very possible this is God's will for your life, that you not have any more children. It's not a foregone conclusion that your husband is wrong in being satisfied with the number of kids you have, and that he is the one who needs to seek God on this.

The Father calls us to total obedience, to trust Him in everything. The command to "go forth and multiply" has never been rescinded. But, He allows us free will to reject His blessings.

If it was the Fathers will for our family to be complete so be it. I am not devastated at not having more children but devastated that my husband has lost his faith and turned to the ways of the world (on more than just this but this was the topic of this thread).

Bless You.

 

[snoochface]

"Go forth and multiply" was said twice -- and both times was when the world was empty and needed to be populated. It was never reiterated as a command for all of mankind. In fact, not having children, not even getting married, was encouraged by Paul in the New Testament. So no, I don't believe "Go forth and multiply" is a command by God to all of us. If it were so, there would not be unmarried or infertile people in the world.

You hadn't mentioned anything previously about your husband turning away from his faith. It sounded like you were heartbroken over not having more children, but it sounds like there are bigger issues at hand. Keep praying, and I pray that he'll find his way back to his faith and you'll find some peace.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I was wondering that too. What if it's God's will for their life that they NOT have anymore children? Why is the person who doesn't want anymore children always the one "ouside" of God's will? What if the person who does want more children isn't listening to what God is telling them?

Amen to that.

"Go forth and multiply" was said twice -- and both times was when the world was empty and needed to be populated. It was never reiterated as a command for all of mankind. In fact, not having children, not even getting married, was encouraged by Paul in the New Testament. So no, I don't believe "Go forth and multiply" is a command by God to all of us. If it were so, there would not be unmarried or infertile people in the world.

Precisely correct.

 

[TrustingWife]

"Go forth and multiply" was said twice -- and both times was when the world was empty and needed to be populated. It was never reiterated as a command for all of mankind. In fact, not having children, not even getting married, was encouraged by Paul in the New Testament. So no, I don't believe "Go forth and multiply" is a command by God to all of us. If it were so, there would not be unmarried or infertile people in the world.

You hadn't mentioned anything previously about your husband turning away from his faith. It sounded like you were heartbroken over not having more children, but it sounds like there are bigger issues at hand. Keep praying, and I pray that he'll find his way back to his faith and you'll find some peace.

With some 90+% of the world's landmass unpopulated we could quite rightly say the world is still empty. All we need is a few more missionaries to create flourishing gardens in the midst of the desert like... now was that David Livingstone? and all the third world countries would be set for life.

Did Paul not say that being single would be the best choice but that human nature was such that most of us could not live that way? or words to that effect. I do agree though that God has a different path for some of us; and that being single or childless is part of His plan sometimes.

In hindsight I think my post may have been a little too obscure. I said "gradually the way of the world crept in to his thinking " and as we can't serve two masters, it is either man or God, I thought it would be understood that he had lost his faith. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. Don't be mistaken though I would welcome more children with open arms if that was the Fathers will and Yes, I pray for him constantly and I believe the Father will use this to His glory. I'm looking forward to that day.

 

[ardeur]

My advice would be to pray about it. Ask God to change you if it's His will for you to have more kids. Ask Him to change her if it's not. He'll also give you the words to say to her when the need arises.

This would be my advice, too. Faithfully seek God about this issue. Ask Him to change your heart if it's His will that you have more children, or change her heart. Fast and pray about it.

"The fervent, effectual prayers of the righteous man availeth much."

 

[TrustingWife]

My wife and I have five children (four boys and a girl). They are all grown now. We never felt we had to "give up" anything of importance. In fact they added to the joy of our life. When you have children they become your primary responsibility. Your "give up" remark makes me wonder if you might be a little selfish.

For me this was the most thought provoking post in this thread.

Sometimes we humans forget what is really important. Our children are the joy of my life also, I never had to give up anything either, my husband and children simply became much more important. I put aways the things of my youth and moved on to greater things.

 

[myanchor]

Definitely pray, then slowly introduce the fact that you feel very comfortable with the number you have.
When my wife had number two, just as she was letting the afterbirth out, she said I'm ready to have another one. I just looked at her in horror and said Uh Uh! Kept on saying everytime she would say she did. I kept saying why mess with perfection, we have one of each.

Finally I said if God wants us to He's going to have to make it happen, and I'm not going to make it easy.

So anyway I'm back from a trip to Ascension Island, didn't sleep in about 48 and we're enthusiastically going at it and she says shouldn't you get a condom. I said I don't care, not stopping now. Well the next day I hurt my back badly and was miserabel for about 4 months. About the two and a half months later she said you're going to be a daddy again. I nearly fainted. The little sweetie looks like the spitting image of her grandma when she was young and she's the best of the bunch.