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Husband as head of household....?

Discussion in 'Non-denominational' started by lynnie, Jan 27, 2007.

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  1. lynnie

    lynnie Regular Member

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    So my bf and I got in an argument about the verse (I dont have my bible right here so im not sure exactly what verse) Where it says that the Male is head of the household. Can someone please explain this to me? What exactly it means and how it fits into our world in 2007 with women playing a HUGE roll in the household now.... Thanx!
     
  2. whatfor

    whatfor Just me

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    I would say it doesn't apply anymore, at least not where i live.
    Maybe in certain cultures it may apply.

    In our house, we are equal.
    It can't be too wrong, we are still happily married after 22 years.
     
  3. Diamonds2004

    Diamonds2004 Senior Member

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    I can give you so great advice from seeing this in action myself. First off, yes, a husband is the head of the household, YET, what need is there for any "head" to rise. This "headship" is not an invitation for a husband to forcefully order or pester his wife around.

    I have had grandparents married for 65 years and they are still going strong and alive. My grandfather is the head of the household, but he is a very mild-mannered guy, so he just let my grandmother work in her sphere of specialized skills. She was an accountant at one time, so by this she takes care of the couple's finances. He never liked dealing with that. He is ver good at repair of physical objects. This is where he shines.

    If you are thinking about being engaged to your boyfriend, then no need to argue about this "headship" of a husband. Just negotiate the division of responsibility to each other and take council readily with one another as the need and situation call forth.

    There will be times where a dicisive decision will be made, albeit quite rare in anything I have seen in life. As long as that decision in within the form of God's moral law, then the husband can be the deciding factor, but take the council option first. It usually works smoother that way.
     
  4. Followers4christ

    Followers4christ Love my wife and 2 sons. God is great!!

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    Men and women have different roles,but are equal in the eyes of God (Galatians 3:28).Men are told to be the head of church and marriage.Men are told to never be harsh or deprive their wives,but to love their wives as Christ loves his church (1 Peter 3:7,Ephesians 5:25,Colossians 3:19,1 Corinthians 7:5,1 Timothy 5:8).Submission does not mean that a wife does not have input.Sarah, (the example of submission in 1 Peter 3:6) gave Abraham input which God said he was to follow (Genesis 21:11-12).A Godly wife is worth far more than all the rubies and treasures of this world (Proverbs 31:10-12).God Bless


    1 Corinthians 11:3"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

    Colossians 3:18"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

    1 Peter 3:5-6"For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

    1 Timothy 2:11-14"A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.For Adam was formed first, then Eve.And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner."

    Ephesians 5:22-24"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

    Titus 2:5"to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

    1 Corinthians 14:34-35"women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
     
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  5. BereanTodd

    BereanTodd Missionary Heart

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    The man is to be head of the home. The ultimate responsibility in the home lies on the shoulders of the man. What does that mean? Well let's consider what it does not mean:

    It is not ... "Woman go cook my food and do what I say!"

    It is not ... "Woman don't talk back to me I'm in charge!"

    It is not ... the woman having no input or say in the home.

    It is not ... deameaning or low. Jesus submitted to the Father, are women too good to follow the example of the Savior?

    What is it? It is that the man has the ultimate authority in the home. He is also ultimately more responsible for the spiritual growth of the family. Wives have input, they are not second class citizens, they are not less valuable, they are not to be treated poorly. But they are to submit to the headship and leadership of their husbands. That is what the Word of God commands. To change it is to ignore the Word of God.
     
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  6. JulySheMustFly

    JulySheMustFly Legend

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    You may want to browse around the Marriage Ministry forum on CF. There seems to be atleast one thread a week on this topic in there.
     
  7. mekkin

    mekkin Member

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    I feel that the man is to be the head of the household. He is to be strong for the family, provide for the family (although this contradicts a lot of modern women bread-winning beliefs) he should lead the family faithfully, in church setting an example. I do feel that a marriage should be both the husband and the wife giving of their talents to the marriage.
     
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  8. JesusFreak78

    JesusFreak78 Reformed Baptist Supporter

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    Ephesians 5:23
    For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.

    Even if the husband is the head of the wife, it doesn't mean he is more important than the wife. Husband and wife is just as important, but they have different roles.

    It doesn't matter if we live in year 30 or in year 2007, we should live according to the bible and not the other way around.
     
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  9. September26

    September26 New Member

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    I agree with the majority in that the husband is the head of the household, but the Lord is Master of his life.

    A true godly wife behaves and acts with the purpose of edification to the Lord and her husband.
     
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  10. ranyhyn

    ranyhyn Put on the whole armour of God...

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    The scriptures posted above bear out that the husband is to be the head of the household. But as BereanTodd posted it doesn't give him authority to abuse that position. The head of the household is usually who is going to make the deciding vote as to what gets done.

    I don't mean that the husband should lord that authority over his wife or family. He should ask God through prayer what the best decisions are anyway. I kind of think of it like the husban is the pastor of the family. He's there to provide and protect the flock.

    Now if the best way to provide for his family is if the wife has a job then so be it. A loving and Godly husband will do what is best for his wife and family. His decisions will have the best intentions as their basis. He won't be doing things just to make his wife miserable. If he's doing what he's supposed to be doing then his wife would be wanting to respond in kind to his example.

    It is a team effort but in the end the husband has the responsibilty (and is held accountable for it) through the authority of God. He is given that position and if he abuses it then he has to answer for it. Some people have the notion that the husband as the head of the household means that he gets to keep his wife barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen. That's not God's intent. The husband is intended as the caretaker/shepherd of the family. And if he does good by example then his wife and family should be willing to follow suit.
     
  11. New_Wineskin

    New_Wineskin Contributor

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    Men have used those passages as an excuse to abuse women for thousands of years . The only reason to even bring it up is to tell women that they are worthless compares to men . If a man is actually being the head and treating their wife as the most important person in his life , there would be no reason to bringing up the Law to force a woman to worship him and obey him as god . The woman would love him .

    Your boyfriend is already trying to put you under his foot to insist on this when you are not even in a situation where it matters . That is very telling and gives you a good clue as to what he thinks of you .
     
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  12. lynnie

    lynnie Regular Member

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    Is it wrong for me to question this? I've always wanted and still want a marriage where we are equally responsible for everything including leading the family faithfully. I dont know this topic has just been bugging me lately.. Im not really sure how to explain what Im thinking... I just feel that it shouldnt be soley up to the husband to make decisions i think that since you've entered into marriage and have become one that decisions should be made together not one person deciding for both people. Thanx for everyone's input... :)
     
  13. JesusFreak78

    JesusFreak78 Reformed Baptist Supporter

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    You should look at a relationship between husband and wife as the relationship between Christ and the church. It mean as wife you can still be a part of everything and decide and the husband and wife is supposed to be a team.

    Just as Christ do with the church the husband should act according to the best for both parts. Ephesians 5:25-30 tells the husband how he is supposed to love his wife. So if the husband is acting the way he is supposed to act you have nothing to fear.
     
  14. Godslilgurlalways

    Godslilgurlalways I am a Child of the King:) Supporter

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    Ephesians 5:22-24"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
    but also remember,

    But don't forget the head of the household needs to be sumbitting to God also.
     
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  15. fenderbender

    fenderbender New Member

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    The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Too bad the abusers take this out of context and use it as a tool to try to force the wife to submit. I say out of context because they forget that Christ loved his church enough to be tortured and crucified for her. No wonder we love Him!
     
  16. Jessica Lauren

    Jessica Lauren Out of The Darkness

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    I believe the husband is the head in a sense that he is supposed to keep the family together. However, he cannot tell the wife what to do... they are equal.
     
  17. Godslilgurlalways

    Godslilgurlalways I am a Child of the King:) Supporter

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    :)Agreed:)
     
  18. A man being the head of the household I think has greater significance in spiritual aspects of the family than in what you might call the 'wordly' aspects (i.e. who cooks, cleans, etc). The correct spiritual relationship between husband and wife, biblically, is to be modeled after the relationship between Christ and the Church. The man is to put the needs of his wife first and care for her and provide for her, and the wife is to submit to his spiritual leadership. As many have stated already, this is not a license to boss her around. However, there comes a time in every relationship where a decision has to be made in spite of disagreement, and in those times I believe it is the man's responsibility to make those decisions.
     
  19. Riis

    Riis Regular Member

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    This verse used to bug me something chronic too..... To be frank it used to make me down right mad (no MAN is gonna tell me what to do!) but... I decided to poke around the topic a little and after some thought I'm ok with it for two reasons.... 1) If your marrying a fella and you take this view then you should trust him and trust his relationship with God enough to be able to accept his leadership
    and 2) something that has been touched on already the bible does say wives obey your husbands but right after that it does say husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church... as some have already said Christ gave his life for the church... and frankly if a man commits himself to loving me like that I'm willing to accept him as head of the house (the way I see it he has the harder job anyway)
    It's true that this can be abused however the bible in no way shows that women should sumbit to or put up with abuse... I don't know if others will agree with this but if he is keeping his end of the bargin then we should keep ours in accepting his leadership and if he's not and he's abusing his position the way I see it we're off the hook
     
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  20. This is very true. Too often when discussing this issue, the man's responsibility in the relationship is forgotten or at least deprioritized.
     
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