How I'm attempting to recover from BPD

[HoneyBee]

I struggle with a lot in terms of mental illness, but I think that the diagnosis I received in Summer 2023 is what explains things the most fluently. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and a big part of that for me is a marked disruption in all of my relationships with other people as well as not having my own sense of self. I find it nearly impossible to know what it is that I want as opposed to what other people want for me to do. They call it "being a chameleon", and I think this is the reason why I'm always having trouble selecting what it is that I want to be. One week I will want to be Christian. The next week, I may want to be Catholic or something else entirely. It's very confusing and disorienting. But I think I've discovered the cure to this mental ailment in the simplest of places!

I've been doing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) classes with a group for about six months now, and while those classes are extremely helpful, they don't tell me who I need to be. They are not enough on their own to have me live a fulfilling life. If I do not tend to my spiritual health as well, it's all a waste of time, because my spirituality is something that I hold as my most sacred treasure. It's my connection to the universe, so to speak, and what has kept me going even in my lowest of moments.

The cure for my BPD, I believe, would be in allowing myself to surrender to the will of God and embrace Christ more fully. I can allow this illness to continue to define me, or I can begin building up who I am on the foundation of God's word. It's more stable than me trying to build my personality on superficial and worldly things, and the best part of it is that I am not alone! And when I follow Jesus, my priorities seem to come back into focus. I think I want to be a wife and mother someday, and I'd also like to spend my life bettering my community in all the ways that I can (professionally and through volunteering).

May God help me to recover and become the person that I was always meant to be. Amen!

 

[Jay Freeman]

Sounds like you are on the road.

​

John 16:33​

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."​

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You may find this interesting...
https://www.bit chute.com/video/UVUCKV3O1AkV

Just take out the space between t and c to get the link to work

 

[johansen]

The cure for my BPD, I believe, would be in allowing myself to surrender to the will of God and embrace Christ more fully. I can allow this illness to continue to define me, or I can begin building up who I am on the foundation of God's word. It's more stable than me trying to build my personality on superficial and worldly things, and the best part of it is that I am not alone! And when I follow Jesus, my priorities seem to come back into focus. I think I want to be a wife and mother someday, and I'd also like to spend my life bettering my community in all the ways that I can (professionally and through volunteering).

I think this will help initially but there is no way around it, you have to process the childhood trauma that caused the lack of a sense of self, then you have to create one. The sooner you do this the better because it will get harder to fix later as the mind ages.

God can help you process and heal the trauma, behind your back. you don't need to actually remember what happened, but if you sinned in childhood in response to the trama, that sin still has to be confessed. this is why i'm not healed myself because i'm still refusing to believe what i allegedly did. many say its not possible btw, i was 6 at the time and she was 14, and i don't remember it yet because i don't want to.

Anyhow, you probably didn't want to know that.. but the One thing that has always worked for my wife is when we pray together and specifically ask God to bring to her mind what the problem is. Sometimes it's pretty weird stuff, other times its suppressed emotions and conflicts she didn't talk to me about a week or months prior, and they build and ferment basically in the back of her mind and they produce very serious problems--problems that are all distractions and byproducts of the root.

without prophetic access to the root of the problem, you can't get healed. you can have all the coping skills in the world for all the byproducts of the problems but to what end?

My wife easily met all 9 criteria for BPD 5 years ago when i met her, it took 4 years to basically cure it.

She was found to actually be what is known as a shell alter of an osdd-1b system at the time i met her. -and that's actually what a lot of BPD people are, and they don't know it. I've learned not to talk about my own theories of how the mind works and how BPD is produced in the mind, because i tend to get banned for doing so.

Russel meares' book "a dissociative model of bpd" may help you if you want some academic reading -especially if you have weird autoimmune and autonomous nervous system problems due to your stress being so high. it may help you make sense of why. basically a lot of people with BPD have trauma stored not in their mind, but in the 2 other neurological systems in the body from as early as before birth..

Johh and paula sandford's book "the transformation of the inner man" helped my wife a lot. -i'm not sure i trust john sandford though on all his spiritual matters.