How do you view your scars?

[Rai1234]

So, for those of you that don't SI anymore (myself included), how do you feel about your scars? Do you cover them up all the time, for some times or some people only?

 

[lonlygirl]

I hate them

 

[lonlygirl]

I am ashamed of my scares and hide them as best I can. Luckily my scares aren't very visible and people don't seem to see me anyway so I can get away with it.

 

[Broken Hearted]

Im still struggling really bad but its been about 2 1/2 months since the last time. I sometimes hide the ones that are pretty noticeable on my lower arms with wrist bands. The other ones their hidden on my upper arms by just t-shirts. And the ones on my wrist and right upper arm are covered with tattoos now which actually helps me not to cut there no more. Most the people I know have seen them but dont know the truth. Only select few know the truth. I am really ashamed of them. But I cant ever tell the truth when some have asked about them. I usually walk away or change the subject really quick or make up something so they will not know.

 

[explodingboy]

I used to keep them covered up, but it became to much of a chore, I will tend to slip into a longer sleeved top, if we have guests over for the first time but overall I try not to be too self concious of them, as that just tends to make more people notice/try to talk about them.

 

[Criada]

Most of my scars are on my legs, so they are usually covered anyway... being on the beach or swimming can be awkward, but I tend to try to keep them covered even then.
I hope one day I'll be able to ignore them... but at the moment I can't...

 

[Finch09]

I never hide them anymore. They're far better than they were in the past, often people don't notice (or at least don't notice right away like they used to). It was a huge challenge to walk around dressed like a normal human being at first (I went years and years wearing sweaters and jeans in the summer, yuck!!). I got really awful comments and stares and questions all of the time. Now it's not something that I often even think of. Occasionally someone will ask and yes, it causes a bit of anxiety, I don't lie but normally will brush it off or avoid answering (if the person knows me well enough to know they wouldn't need to ask). It's just another part of my body now, like having toes. Once in a while when you're putting on socks you think about your toes, but it's not a shocking or disturbing sight to look down and realize you have toes. The one thing that still really gets to me is when children ask what happened. I never know how to answer. A close family friends' daughter is getting a little older now and is asking me how they happened, and I have no idea what to tell her.

 

[explodingboy]

The one thing that still really gets to me is when children ask what happened. I never know how to answer. A close family friends' daughter is getting a little older now and is asking me how they happened, and I have no idea what to tell her.

I told my 4-5yr old cousin they were from wresteling tigers in the jungle. One of the best things about small siblings, is you can tend to get away with any excuse.

 

[Rai1234]

I used to have a list of funny one-liners to tell people when they asked and I didn't feel like getting serious about it. Wrestling tigers is a good one though.

Yeah, my family knows (the adults anyway) but I still tend to wear sleeves around them. Wearing long sleeves is pretty much a habit now but I've gotten pretty used to my scars - though they can be ackward at times.

 

[Fatally.Yours]

It varies, it depends how long it's been since my last relapse.
Covered at the moment, but that's because it's winter.

 

[Narangerel]

I cover them, always. I don't need the comments or the stares. I'm a shy person already and the sudden confrontations aren't things I can handle. It's easier just to wear long sleeves or armwarmers or bracelets.

 

[lonlygirl]

you can't really see mine anymore but when you can I just say that I tripped over a rock whilst out hiking or something. when they are knew I just bandage them and say I fell and cut it on the side of a table or something and if they ask to see it then I say that it really hurts and I don't want to touch my arm. once it has covered over you can actually use cover, makeup, to hide it, it works for me.also wear a hoodie in the winter. they are lose so they don't hurt as much it the scares are raw.

 

[tolstoy]

I usually cover mine, because I almost never cut the arms, so it's pretty easy to cover up; people don't question long pants as much as long sleeves. It really sucks to not ever be able to even take a quick swim, though. But the last time I cut, was on the forearm (not the wrist, the top.) Since it's winter, it's easy to hide, but I work out six days a week and I'm not used to having to wear long sleeves at the gym. I was walking with a friend at the track last week (wearing short sleeves because I didn't think they looked that bad), she asked what happened, and I just laughed and said "That, my friend, is why you never hug a porcupine." Or, I'm bound for law school, so "I plead the Fifth" works too.

 

[Ampworship]

I'm fine with my scars. They don't bother me or trigger me into cutting when I look at them. I look at them as a reminder of where I've been and what Christ has pulled me out of and saved me from. They are proof and examples of the rough road some of us have had. They are a great testimony of the darkness He walked me out of. Now am I exempt from depression and dark periods now that i am a Christian? No. Christ said that there will be trials and persecutions and the enemy will attack from time to time cause he knows where to attack me. 2001, I think, was the last time I seriously cut, but the last time I lapsed was in October 2010, but even then, I knew in my heart and my mind that cutting wasn't going to DO anything for me. Satan was attacking me and I slipped into an old habit a couple of times and just stopped. I thank God for where I have been and the ways He may use me to help those still there.

 

[QstningNonblvr]

Most of my scars are pretty hard to see and are on my legs, so easily covered with clothing. They are only visible when I am in shorts or something like that. I almost always wear jeans or long skirts because of this.

The scars that bother me most are on my left arm and in an effort to move beyond that, when I hit two years SI free I got a tattoo to cover the scars. The downside to this is that people want to really look at the tattoo and when you scrutinize it closely, the scars are really easy to see and it is quite obvious as to what they are from.

As you can see, I have gone to great lengths to hide and disguise my scars. It doesn't always work and I find myself in long pants and long sleeves more often than not because I hate them so much. This huge guilt always wells up inside me whenever I see them and that is triggering on its own =/

One good thing about having them: My godson's cousin (about 15 years old now) saw them and started crying. I had no idea why... until she pulled her sleeves back and said "me too." I've been able to help her a bit with it.

 

[halfalive]

Most of my scars are covered anyhow, and the few that are on my arms aren't too noticeable. Really the only one I have that is noticeable is across the back of my hand.

Part of me kind of likes them, though. Oddly enough. To quote Papa Roach (I think?): "Our scars remind us that the past is real." My scars don't let me forget where I've been and how far I've come since.

 

[lonlygirl]

I suppose that I have grown fonds of them and when ever I feel like i need to do it sometimes it helps to just look at them and remember the pain they called me and those around me and that could help me stop. but it makes it hard when people notice them and judge me just by what they see.

 

[Melodys]

I still do it, and I in a weird way... like them. I punish myself, and its my proof :/

 

[KnightsPaintball]

I let everyone see, I don't care what people think. I havnt cut in a year and I've prayed for him to totally release me but it hasn't happened and I feel I need to use it as a testimony

 

[certainofuncertainty]

I don't hide my scars as they are a part of me, but I'm not particularly proud of them.