How can you stop wishing for someone God said "no" to?

[pinkjess]

My heart still wants to believe God says "yes" to a relationship that wasn't ever in His will for me. I was doing good by keeping my focus on God and not on things on earth but I had a dream about the person a few days ago and I woke up with feelings for them all over again.

This of course deters my relationship with God because I feel like a bad person when I think about this person or wish I could get to know them. Almost as if God gets disappointed every time He sees me think about them. I know God has reasons and His ways are higher than mine but how can I tell my heart that so it stops having these feelings?

 

[BFine]

The next time you dream about the person...
pray for them to seek the Lord for salvation
if they don't know Jesus as Savior.

I'm not sure I'm seeing sinfulness in dreaming
about someone or thinking about them...it would
be sinful if you are lusting(having sexual fantasies), or allowing your thoughts to keep you from serving God.

Is the person married, if so, then it would be wrong to
seek after him for romance.

Use scripture to correct erring ways...if you're in sin,
repent. There's plenty in the Bible to keep one occupied --
visiting shut-ins, volunteering, bible studies/research,
short term missions, helping the poor etc.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

My heart still wants to believe God says "yes" to a relationship that wasn't ever in His will for me. I was doing good by keeping my focus on God and not on things on earth but I had a dream about the person a few days ago and I woke up with feelings for them all over again.

This of course deters my relationship with God because I feel like a bad person when I think about this person or wish I could get to know them. Almost as if God gets disappointed every time He sees me think about them. I know God has reasons and His ways are higher than mine but how can I tell my heart that so it stops having these feelings?

it's sometimes very difficult to tell the difference between God wanting to love someone through you and you desiring someone that makes you feel good; the only way to tell the difference is to ask yourself why you think you love someone - is it because you desire to bless them (God's selfless love), or because you desire them to bless you?

 

[yuppers]

If you don't mind me asking, why do you think God said you can't be with them? Sometimes as humans we can misunderstand the will of God. If this person isn't living a sinful life why couldn't you be in a relationship with them? You shouldn't feel bad about desiring to be with someone. God designed us to be with someone. Unless your calling is celibacy and missionary work for God you're aloud to desire that. keep praying about it and ask God to give you direction.

 

[pinkjess]

I think He doesn't want me to have a relationship with this person because God spoke to me in a dream and told me that the guy wasn't the one He wants me to be with. And while I was praying about what God wanted me to do I heard the word "trouble" in my heart. I think that might have been God, I was really focused on praying when it happened too. I just need advice on how to stop being sad over it. I know it is putting a hedge between me and God because I feel like He wants me to get over it.

 

[BFine]

Is this supported by scripture?
If so, which ones?

 

[Goodbook]

Ask God to cleanse your heart, like david did in his psalm. Create in me a clean heart, O lord, and renew a right spirit within me.

 

[pinkjess]

Is this supported by scripture?
If so, which ones?

I believe the Lord speaks to us in our hearts. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2. Plus in Proverbs it speaks about God directing our steps. I prayed constantly for God to direct my steps, and I became ill and had to quit.

 

[BFine]

I believe the Lord speaks to us in our hearts. "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2. Plus in Proverbs it speaks about God directing our steps. I prayed constantly for God to direct my steps, and I became ill and had to quit.

*Haven't you been experiencing on-going health issues for several years?
I recall something about you mentioning an autoimmune disorder? and contending with bad OCD?

 

[pinkjess]

*Haven't you been experiencing on-going health issues for several years?
I recall something about you mentioning an autoimmune disorder? and contending with bad OCD?

Yes I have had a noncancerous tumor on my pituitary gland that got diagnosed last year but that doesn't cause me many issues just irregular periods and is treated easily with medication. The autoimmune issues began around last Christmas which afterwards made my quit my job. I do have OCD that used to be very bad but it is mild now and doesn't control my life as much as it did. I feel He wants me to work on taking care of myself. I have to trust God knows what's best for me at this stage in my life now. I have peace in my heart about that.

 

[Sketcher]

I think He doesn't want me to have a relationship with this person because God spoke to me in a dream and told me that the guy wasn't the one He wants me to be with. And while I was praying about what God wanted me to do I heard the word "trouble" in my heart. I think that might have been God, I was really focused on praying when it happened too. I just need advice on how to stop being sad over it. I know it is putting a hedge between me and God because I feel like He wants me to get over it.

That could be God, or it could be your own anxiety over the matter.
I'm not against women making the first move in general, but I'd advise that you not make the first move in this case. Without the burden of starting a relationship being on you, it will be easier to let him go if he's not God's will for you. If he doesn't ask you out, you don't exactly have a moral dilemma, do you?

 

[BFine]

You're not alone, many of us have multiple
health issues...myself included.

My husband was all healthy and everything
when we married(I wasn't)....back in Sept. of 2002.

Things changed...
In Nov. of 2009, he had a bad accident at work
and ended up having his left leg amputated...
from that point on he had one
health crisis after another...this went on for
several years.
Our lives revolved around doctor appointments
and physical therapy...counseling etc...this was
our weekly schedule (during those years.)
Our previous lifestyle was gone...no more hiking,
no more boating etc.

We had to find new things to do, it wasn't easy
because most of the week was taken up by doctor, counseling and physical therapy appointments.

Family and many friends walked away...my husband's
first prayer partner couldn't deal with our constant
health crisis, so he asked to be placed with someone else.

We learned what it is to "feed one another"...
since others couldn't handle all our problems/losses etc.
Because of all that- we got acquainted with other people
who were like us, stricken with health issues and had very
little family or friend support.

We got close to one couple and we meet
with each other on Tuesdays and sometime we go
out with them for supper...they've been really good friends
to us.

Our reliance upon the Lord and His Word got us through
that long trial where we were constantly on the road.

It was during that time we came to realize that our
faith walk was going much deeper and being enriched.

My husband is doing better and he's teaching men's
bible study at church (he never would of done such a
thing before-- he wasn't one to speak in front of an audience...he avoided that like a plague!
I often reflect back on that each Thursday morning when
he's heading out the door to teach/lead bible study.

As a couple, we are both involved in pastoral care with several other couples at church...we're about to enter into our third year of being able to be "out and about."

Sometimes we do "what ifs"...then it comes to one of us
that no matter what the future holds, the Lord is faithful
and will provide us with what we truly need.
God is faithful and true!

May our Lord and Savior bless you beyond
what you could ever imagine...Amen.