Help? Transgender friend?

[PloverWing]

I don't really know what to think, they're both very faithful Christians or at least present themselves that way and I want to offer insightful advice, although I'm not sure what my stance on this should be. Should I be trying to preach to them and forbidding it or embracing it or ignoring it or what? I'm so confused, and I'd love some advice.

Going back to the original poster:

Your friend is going to need a good friend most of all. This has to be a terribly difficult time for your friend, sorting out gender identity and sexual orientation, which sometimes isn't an easy thing to figure out. Be there for him, even if all of this is weird. Many transgender people face rejection from family, friends, church, classmates. He'll need someone to stick by him, to let him know he's still loved.

Honor his confidences. He has shown tremendous trust in coming out to you. It sounds like he doesn't feel safe yet confiding in his parents or church, so don't tell anyone else about his transgender status or dating relationship until he gives you permission. When he judges that the time is right, he can come out to them himself. In the meantime, honor his trust.

I wouldn't offer advice unless he asks. If he's in a conservative church, he's probably heard all the Bible verses about sexual relationships. What he might find difficult to remember right now is the Bible verses about how much God loves each of us, how much God loves him.

As a courtesy, use whatever pronoun he prefers, even if it's strange. (He might prefer to stick with "he" for now, though, if he's still closeted. Ask.)

I'm so glad that you're continuing to be his friend. You are an agent of God's love for him right now.

 

[seashale76]

Should I be trying to preach to them and forbidding it or embracing it or ignoring it or what? I'm so confused, and I'd love some advice.

Also something useful to know, I'm not going to just blatantly stop being friends with him because of this... He's still one of my closest and most trustworthy friends.

So, as someone that has a transgendered nephew, as well as three gay people in my immediate extended family, all of whom are quite active in the UCC, here's my advice. I'm also noting that I disagree with their theology quite strongly. Call them whatever pronoun they want to be called and avoid discussing topics that you know you'll clash on. Keep them in your prayers.

 

[98cwitr]

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[timf]

Transexuality

For some reason (possibly Bruce Jenner) the last year has seen a significant increase in discussion of this subject.

For Christians who believe the Bible, there should be no question that this is an abomination.

Rather than hate people who think they are transsexual, we should consider the sad state where a person comes to associate their gender identity with sexual arousal and become fixated on this as a reality.

We live in an artificial world so distant from the natural world God created that almost anyone can pursue a life of degeneracy that was once reserved only for the kings and nobles of antiquity.

Rather than become in entangled in endless arguments with those who are unable to see truth, we might ask why anyone would encourage someone to travel down a road that has led 50% of the people to travel it to attempt suicide.

 

[katerinah1947]

Hi,

This looks complete.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_therapy

LOVE,

 

[hedrick]

It’s hard to be sure how to help the OP. His revised question is how much of his business it is. If he’s a close friend, it’s his business in the sense that everything that matters to a friend matters to us. If he wants to talk, listen, and react encouragingly. Advice is typically not as useful as listening and helping people come to their own conclusions. Leading questions and affirmations are the most useful for that.

Yes, if I had a friend using drugs, I’d be concerned. What reaction would actually be useful is difficult to say. Unwanted advice seldom helps.

But of course this isn't drugs. Christians differ on their attitude towards transgender. It’s not even required for you to have a final conclusion on whether it’s OK or not.

Keeping this combination of things secret from parents is difficult, and in an ideal world, not a good idea. However there are parents who throw kids out of the house when they don’t approve of their gender / sexual choices. Unfortunately he’s the one that is going to have to assess the risk.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

Honestly I don't believe you can really be both gay and a Christian.

9Or do you not know that the unrighteousb will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,c 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.' 1 Corinthians 6
:9-11

Why is being honest about sin claimed as being judgemental? I actually think if I love someone I would be honest that I don't agree with their lifestyle. I care more about peoples souls than people pleasing.

1Brothers,a if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. galatians 6:1-3

 

[katerinah1947]

Honestly I don't believe you can really be both gay and a Christian.

9Or do you not know that the unrighteousb will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,c 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.' 1 Corinthians 6
:9-11

Why is being honest about sin claimed as being judgemental? I actually think if I love someone I would be honest that I don't agree with their lifestyle. I care more about peoples souls than people pleasing.

1Brothers,a if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. galatians 6:1-3

Hi,

If it's a science issue, then there is no problem, greater than your issues.

The scientists are saying, more and more about that subject, and to say that it is not possible for scripture to be misinterpreted on the issue you mentioned, is to forget that huge mistakes scripturally have been made in the past with the earth being the center of our solar system.

LOVE,

 

[hedrick]

Discussion of the acceptability of homosexuality is only allowed a couple of places, and Christian Advice isn’t one of them.

The OP doesn’t seem to have a clear opinion on the matter. I’m not sure he needs it. He can support his friend, perhaps pray with him, and trust that Christ will show him what he wants him to do. If he has a viewpoint he can share it, but it’s probably best to do it in a low-key way.

If the OP feels a need to clarify the ethics of homosexuality or transgender, that question is legitimate in the Liberal discussion group.

 

[katerinah1947]

Okay. I'm not new here, I often prowl the forums here without contributing through posting.

So I have a tough situation. Someone I love very much as a close friend came out to me as transgender. I don't know what their intentions are in the (distant) future as far as that goes regarding hormone therapy or SRS or whatever, but that is not relevant. We're in high school.

This friend, he (the person in question is male biologically so I will use male pronouns) has started dating someone else that is of the same biological gender as him. So basically they're two guys. (Except one's a girl? Or is he?)

I don't really know what to think, they're both very faithful Christians or at least present themselves that way and I want to offer insightful advice, although I'm not sure what my stance on this should be. Should I be trying to preach to them and forbidding it or embracing it or ignoring it or what? I'm so confused, and I'd love some advice.

Also something useful to know, I'm not going to just blatantly stop being friends with him because of this... He's still one of my closest and most trustworthy friends.

Hi,

Maybe just do what you have been doing, in your words, "I'm not going to just blatantly stop being friends with him because of this..."

Proverbs 17:17

LOVE,