Heaven v a 75-year-old novel? 2 pt thread

[67_Reasons]

This thread is also a confession of an issue in my life with a girl from high school I will only refer to as the “ghost girl” because my methods of “Forgive, forget and forget I've forgotten” have all but failed to find an end to my problem.
I heard a preacher on the radio a few moments ago talking about marriage and it stirred some negative emotions about singleness, because it is rarely ever addressed by preacher sermons from anywhere or anyone one preacher.
In the first half of my problem, I have issues with my spiritual life that need to be resolved, like I know we all have them, but I consider this more of damaged goods. I have had an unresolved addiction that I have had ever since I left high school that I am not sure I can get out of. The preacher was talking on the radio about why we should get married and this one talking point about intimacy stood out to me because as a single and could very well be until the return, I do not have anyone to turn to. I do not want to give up on the Lord but at the same time I am left with this one fear about the afterlife. In Danial during his explanation of singleness in heaven I have also come to this thought about the name thing, like a house of mirrors, or more like the way China and related nations have the pictures and murals of the former dictator Chairman Mao from inside residential bathrooms to even the darkest alleys of every city. I have not read 1984 however I have delved into some chapters with this same type of craziness, and I am thinking could this sound like a “place I do not know yet?” and I am not going to compare apples and IBMs; however.
I believe I may have denied this ghost girl in the sense that I had this to say to the Lord because of her unresolvedness. I did not want her to witness any reward God granted me in heaven that was taken from or a replacement there of this name that was to be given to me. And I am hoping it would be less cynical of the Lord to grant that this name will be his, and I am also hoping that this will not be a sign that this will be what I am looking forward to. Although my Christian focus should be on Jesus, then who is to say that there will be only one and only reference to him like the utopian vision of George Orwell’s Big Brother? This is the fear my doubts have brought me to.
I need help...

 

[BobRyan]

1. Turn to the Bible as your source text. Turn over a new leaf -
2. you are not in charge of what God allows others to do or not do, to see or not see. Except if you expose others to your own sin by tempting them.

 

[Unqualified]

Yes, study the word and get into a church that preaches the word. I hear your depression. The Bible is uplifting. You sound like anger turned inward. Don’t worry about the world, Jesus will take care of it. But you should get right with Him. Trust what you read and God to take care of things just as he says.

 

[Mark Quayle]

This thread is also a confession of an issue in my life with a girl from high school I will only refer to as the “ghost girl” because my methods of “Forgive, forget and forget I've forgotten” have all but failed to find an end to my problem.
I heard a preacher on the radio a few moments ago talking about marriage and it stirred some negative emotions about singleness, because it is rarely ever addressed by preacher sermons from anywhere or anyone one preacher.
In the first half of my problem, I have issues with my spiritual life that need to be resolved, like I know we all have them, but I consider this more of damaged goods. I have had an unresolved addiction that I have had ever since I left high school that I am not sure I can get out of. The preacher was talking on the radio about why we should get married and this one talking point about intimacy stood out to me because as a single and could very well be until the return, I do not have anyone to turn to. I do not want to give up on the Lord but at the same time I am left with this one fear about the afterlife. In Danial during his explanation of singleness in heaven I have also come to this thought about the name thing, like a house of mirrors, or more like the way China and related nations have the pictures and murals of the former dictator Chairman Mao from inside residential bathrooms to even the darkest alleys of every city. I have not read 1984 however I have delved into some chapters with this same type of craziness, and I am thinking could this sound like a “place I do not know yet?” and I am not going to compare apples and IBMs; however.
I believe I may have denied this ghost girl in the sense that I had this to say to the Lord because of her unresolvedness. I did not want her to witness any reward God granted me in heaven that was taken from or a replacement there of this name that was to be given to me. And I am hoping it would be less cynical of the Lord to grant that this name will be his, and I am also hoping that this will not be a sign that this will be what I am looking forward to. Although my Christian focus should be on Jesus, then who is to say that there will be only one and only reference to him like the utopian vision of George Orwell’s Big Brother? This is the fear my doubts have brought me to.
I need help...

I see this one part of what you say, as a false notion. "...any reward God granted me in heaven that was taken from or a replacement there of this name that was to be given to me."

God has no plan B. He might present you with goals and hopes, and commandments towards that goal —even the best of goals. But that Goal might not be what he planned for you from the beginning, but merely a way for him to steer you in the direction he has planned from the beginning concerning you and those around you. What God has determined, he will accomplish. I'm fighting tears and sobs as I write this. I would not now trade the agony of soul and mind that God has taken me through (and is still taking me through) for anything.

My best hope, at one time, was holiness. Purity. Godliness. Obedience! This is obviously a GREAT goal, a wonderful desire, and it is obedience to pursue it! But I didn't know him as well as I do now, when I see that any goodness on my part was HIS work. Watch God's faithfulness, if you can —not your performance. I know it is impossible to get your eyes off yourself by effort. But it happens anyway, through your weakness. Take comfort, and hope.

You cannot change anything that will happen in heaven, though your every choice, (both the good and the bad choices), brings it about. It is GOING TO BE. God has eternally established it! This life is not about you, but about Christ.

Thank God for his GREAT sacrifice on your behalf. And for this life in Christ, which is already yours, whether you can see it or not.