Have I "Fallen From Grace"?

[BrokenWarrior]

Hello Fellow Believers,

I am in need of some serious wisdom from mature Believers.
I refuse to let my pride get in the way of a life in Christ anymore,so I will tell my story and ask for your honest opinions.

My story is not completely unique I'm sure,but not the most common either...
Forgive me, but I'm going to frank I'm this post.

Back when I was 7 I "Believed" in Jesus. What reason had I not to? I got baptized and was even proud of it. Then came sin... I lusted in my heart and mind oh so very willfully and enjoyed the lewdness through thoughts and actions.
This went on till I was about 11-12, I had something telling me "Ya know? This just doesn't feel right..." So I started reading scripture and the Holy sprit convicted me... This was definitely not right..
So I started repenting and praying and asking for forgiveness and trying to serve God.
Well, for a few years I kept struggling with this, repenting trying to pray and do right etc... Eventually I started thinking "Ok am I even REALLY saved?" And lo-and-behold... I wasn't... I believed in Jesus alright, even believed he saved people.. But I believed in A Jesus,not THE Jesus.
I believed in this guy who God created through the Holy Spirit in the belly of Mary,lived sinless,died on the cross, God raised him,Then God made Him divine and gave him powers to save people.
I didn't believe in the main part of it all... That he wasn't just some man,but God Himself! 100%God 100%Human! Part of the Trinity.shell,whites,yoke; different parts of the same egg;three different sides to the same triangle...
So at 15 I truly believed in THE Jesus and asked him to forgive me and be my Lord.

Well all was fine except one thing... My addiction to Lust...
I've struggled with it for a while now... It's still made me doubt at times. Why did I Choose to do it so much? Why couldn't I just Obey Him?Did I not really repent? Was I really saved? Was I really sorry for it?

Each time I fell though I came to the conclusion that,yes, I was sorry for it,I do hate it, I do wanna obey Christ, and I DO believe in Jesus...

Now comes the tricky part I need help with...

Recently I've found the passages in Galations and Hebrews I'm sure your all familiar with... At first I was scared to death... Did I just "fall from grace" by sinning? Did I just blow it by committing a sin I struggle with? Then I found this site the other day,and read the article about the subject about falling from grace. And it showed me that Paul was talking about those who believed then turned back to the law and circumcision, basically saying those who Fall from Grace are those who trust in anything but Christ for salvation, not that you'll fall from grace by sinning,great I thought.... Then..."Wait... What?..... What was that about those who rely on anything but God for salvation?...There the ones that fall away???? HOLY COW, WASNT I JUST EARLIER TRUSTING SOMETHING ELSE FOR SALVATION???That is, my own works?"

I'm afraid that in all my turmoil I was doubting I was saved because I was sinning still and so, thought I could lose my salvation and was believing I needed to be more righteous to be in a right standing with God...

So brothers, have I literally made the worst mistake anyone could make?
Did I just blow my hope of repentance and salvation? Was I adding to faith? Going back to the Law? Trusting in something else? Did I become as Paul said"One who slides back, in whom The Lord is not pleased"? Do I not just fully understand that passage correctly? I'll admit that I'm not nearly as wise in matters of Scripture as I wish I was...

I'm sorry for the wall of text,but I'm terribly worried... Who wouldn't be? This is a big deal when it comes to ones eternal destiny...

Did I just royally flob up? Or am I just overthinking things? Was I just questioning my salvation?

My Lord, so few of you realize how much I pray it's the latter...

I'm sorry if this isn't the right sub-forum to post this but I figured this was a good spot for it...

Regards,
Your Lowest Brother Shawn

 

[Avid]

... Back when I was 7 I "Believed" in Jesus. What reason had I not to? I got baptized and was even proud of it. Then came sin...

There are two ways of looking at this, and it is not exactly what you guessed it is. These two ways include what you are concerned about, and we can address that, too.

IF, INDEED, you were "saved" at 7, 11 or 15, there is a way to see this that follows a commonly accepted way of seeing God's salvation. It might be said that (from the Calvinists' point of view) you may be one of God's elect, that He chose to put you through all this, or allow you to put yourself through all this, in order to perfect you, and make you someone who might help others on their way to God. The Calvinist may believe you to be one of God's chosen, and this may all be part of you dealing with what man is made of, and that God will stay with you till all this is fixed. (Phil.1:6)

Otherwise, the Calvinist may think you are NOT one of God's elect, are NOT getting any of this from God, are only trying in the weakness of the flesh to attain something you heard in Church, and that you are destined to fail.

Other people see that we should seek God, but are constantly facing a choice to go with God to obtain salvation, or to go with the devil, the flesh and self. Some think you were saved as a child, and you just keep backsliding, as you tried to say. This is not scriptural, because if you were to have done what you said as a "Christian," there would be no coming back. (Heb.6:4-8, Heb.10:26-29)

A version of this second way of thinking is that you are just not saved till all this is worked out, and you need to keep pressing to the light of God in your search for salvation from God. I personally think that no one is able to tell you which of these applies to you, and that YOU need to get the answers from the LORD.

... I'm afraid that in all my turmoil I was doubting I was saved because I was sinning still and so, thought I could lose my salvation and was believing I needed to be more righteous to be in a right standing with God...

These confused thoughts are part of the human mind trying to comprehend the spiritual matters of God without having a true spiritual understanding. The smartest people in the world are just as confused, though they may have devised some way of looking at it that satisfies their own mind, and the minds of other worldly people.

You need to LEARN of God and Jesus Christ from the scriptures, and you need to Seek the LORD diligently. It is only by the grace of God that you will find the help you need. If you are truly concerned that you obtain the righteousness of God, and TRULY have a desire to be free from the sin and lust that takes you on occasion (II Tim.2:26,) then you need to approach the whole matter differently.

Jeremiah 29
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
​

Identify the righteousness of God as a goal, and see what the scriptures say about people who seek and find that. Be very careful of where you get your info and help for your journey. There are people throughout history that have had similar cases. Some seek and find God, but some are turned away, and eternally lost.

Matthew 11
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

There are innumerable difficulties in the way; such as few conquer: most of them that try have not resolution, courage, earnestness, and constancy enough; but they fail, give up, and perish. The difficulties are too many and too great for them that do not violently press forward. They never get along, but stick by the way; are turned aside, or turned back, and ruined. Matt. vii. 14.
Jonathan Edwards (1703−1758)

Luke 13
24 Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.

Never rest in convictions till they end in conversion. This is that wherein most men miscarry; they rest in their convictions, and take them for conversion, as if sin seen were therefore forgiven, as if a sight of the want of grace were the truth of the work of grace.
Matthew Mead (1629−1699)
​

Get serious, seek that which is good, and abandon what you like, if it is bad for you.

... This is a big deal when it comes to ones eternal destiny...

If you see this as an eternal struggle, you will take it more seriously. The person who tries to stop smoking, because he thinks it is better to NOT smoke cigarettes, will soon find something that excuses his abandonment of the goal. Someone who thinks this is necessary for life, that he may very likely die of Cancer, Emphysema, or other ailment because of this addiction, will be serious, and not allow ANYTHING to turn him from the quest to be free.

 

[Avid]

Here is a good place to start.

What can a Sinner do to be Saved?
by Rolfe Barnard
(Sermon)


How God Gets A Sinner To Know He Is LOST
by Rolfe Barnard
(Sermon)




THE HEAVENLY FOOTMAN;
or,
A Description of the Man
that Gets to Heaven:
by John Bunyan
(Small Book)​

May God bless you and help you along your way.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

There are two ways of looking at this, and it is not exactly what you guessed it is. These two ways include what you are concerned about, and we can address that, too.

IF, INDEED, you were "saved" at 7, 11 or 15, there is a way to see this that follows a commonly accepted way of seeing God's salvation. It might be said that (from the Calvinists' point of view) you may be one of God's elect, that He chose to put you through all this, or allow you to put yourself through all this, in order to perfect you, and make you someone who might help others on their way to God. The Calvinist may believe you to be one of God's chosen, and this may all be part of you dealing with what man is made of, and that God will stay with you till all this is fixed. (Phil.1:6)

Otherwise, the Calvinist may think you are NOT one of God's elect, are NOT getting any of this from God, are only trying in the weakness of the flesh to attain something you heard in Church, and that you are destined to fail.

Other people see that we should seek God, but are constantly facing a choice to go with God to obtain salvation, or to go with the devil, the flesh and self. Some think you were saved as a child, and you just keep backsliding, as you tried to say. This is not scriptural, because if you were to have done what you said as a "Christian," there would be no coming back. (Heb.6:4-8, Heb.10:26-29)

A version of this second way of thinking is that you are just not saved till all this is worked out, and you need to keep pressing to the light of God in your search for salvation from God. I personally think that no one is able to tell you which of these applies to you, and that YOU need to get the answers from the LORD.


These confused thoughts are part of the human mind trying to comprehend the spiritual matters of God without having a true spiritual understanding. The smartest people in the world are just as confused, though they may have devised some way of looking at it that satisfies their own mind, and the minds of other worldly people.

You need to LEARN of God and Jesus Christ from the scriptures, and you need to Seek the LORD diligently. It is only by the grace of God that you will find the help you need. If you are truly concerned that you obtain the righteousness of God, and TRULY have a desire to be free from the sin and lust that takes you on occasion (II Tim.2:26,) then you need to approach the whole matter differently.

Jeremiah 29
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
​

Identify the righteousness of God as a goal, and see what the scriptures say about people who seek and find that. Be very careful of where you get your info and help for your journey. There are people throughout history that have had similar cases. Some seek and find God, but some are turned away, and eternally lost.

Matthew 11
12 And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

There are innumerable difficulties in the way; such as few conquer: most of them that try have not resolution, courage, earnestness, and constancy enough; but they fail, give up, and perish. The difficulties are too many and too great for them that do not violently press forward. They never get along, but stick by the way; are turned aside, or turned back, and ruined. Matt. vii. 14.
Jonathan Edwards (1703−1758)

Luke 13
24 Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able.

Never rest in convictions till they end in conversion. This is that wherein most men miscarry; they rest in their convictions, and take them for conversion, as if sin seen were therefore forgiven, as if a sight of the want of grace were the truth of the work of grace.
Matthew Mead (1629−1699)
​

Get serious, seek that which is good, and abandon what you like, if it is bad for you.


If you see this as an eternal struggle, you will take it more seriously. The person who tries to stop smoking, because he thinks it is better to NOT smoke cigarettes, will soon find something that excuses his abandonment of the goal. Someone who thinks this is necessary for life, that he may very likely die of Cancer, Emphysema, or other ailment because of this addiction, will be serious, and not allow ANYTHING to turn him from the quest to be free.

Thanks for that,

I've came to the conclusion that I was NOT first saved around 7 if only because I didn't truly believe in the true Christ. I practically rejected the possibility that he was as "High" as The Father and this,I'm sure, you could agree with me is not believing in Christ as he intended us to. I was in a sense, thinking just like a Jew, or a Pharisee; rejecting that he was the Messiah and only acknowledging him as a Human Being(though I did believe that he was divine,but only in the sense of being righteous).

I Refuse to believe there's any other way to be saved except by grace through faith, I do believe who Jesus really is, I am repentant in my heart. I know there's more to it,but I believed I became saved around 15.

I am scared however, about the fact that I possibly messed up by trusting in something other then Christ during my confusion...

Guess I need to just searching and praying...

Any other replies are still definitely welcome.
Thanks again.

 

[Avid]

... I am scared however, about the fact that I possibly messed up by trusting in something other then Christ during my confusion...

If you are truly concerned for your soul, those sermons will take an average reader about a hour to get through. The first one includes a link to listen to the sermon. It was taped about 50 years ago.

The book is rather small, and is one of my favorite. Here is a quote from the "forward" of the book written about 330 years ago:

Time runs; and will you be slothful? Much of your lives are past; and will you be slothful? Your souls are worth a thousand worlds; and will you be slothful? The day of death and judgment is at the door; and will you be slothful? The curse of God hangs over your heads; and will you be slothful?
​

Do not let things keep going the same wrong direction.

 

[Free at Calvary]

We seek God believing he exists and that he is good, but when we find him it's like an awakening. Yes we believed, but the truth is joyous beyond words. Have you ever had such an experience, coming to the knowledge of God? That's how I would judge if someone was saved, although we may doubt whether it was real when we have to endure suffering.

Being saved is not a belief, but a transformation through faith, an operation of God. You seem to base salvation on what you believe - Jesus is the Son, Jesus is God, and now it being by grace - but sins have made you question whether you are saved.

As long as I'm in this body I'll know lust, but the difference is I'm not serving it, or yielding myself to obey it. I wouldn't look at your sins, but your service to Christ, to see the Spirit of God working in you.

Christ died for our sins, but he also rose for our justification which is where our walk is. Have you ever known peace from God, against the guilt and fear of sin? What about his love within your heart? It's impossible to deny what the flesh says about you, unless God convinces you otherwise.

Personally, I think you are saved, and that your faith pleases God, and these are growing pains. Believing on Jesus is about him dying for your sins, and that he is the way, truth and life, and that you'll overcome by him living in you. It's about living by him.

People make believing on Jesus about knowledge, understanding of mysteries, etc. and it can be confusing. We're not saved by knowledge but simply believing on his name.

 

[abacabb3]

Simple answer, if you trust Christ as your Savior it does not mean you will never fall into sin, but that you will have victory over sin and won't do it consistently.

Why? Because you have been sealed with the Holy Spirit (Eph 1:13) and are already seated with Christ in the heavenly realm (Eph 2:6). Christ promises, "This is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day" (John 6:39).

 

[Bluelion]

you want to know if your saved? I got a test for you, 100% true. one question. DO you love God in your heart? Only you and God know the true answer. If you love God you are saved, A person can not love God with out Jesus in their heart.

You can not lose salvation once you have it.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

you want to know if your saved? I got a test for you, 100% true. one question. DO you love God in your heart? Only you and God know the true answer. If you love God you are saved, A person can not love God with out Jesus in their heart.

You can not lose salvation once you have it.

Hi,
Thanks for posting friend.

Ya know? I really do love God, I was actually thinking about this earlier...
Why would I even care? Let alone love Him if I wasn't His, or at least meant to be His.

I can't explain it... I just know I love Him, every time I think of His sacrifice, His love for me, I just smile... I wanna serve Him, Please Him, do absolutely whatever Will put a smile on His face...

Again, thanks.

-a Fellow Servant

 

[Bluelion]

Hi,
Thanks for posting friend.

Ya know? I really do love God, I was actually thinking about this earlier...
Why would I even care? Let alone love Him if I wasn't His, or at least meant to be His.

I can't explain it... I just know I love Him, every time I think of His sacrifice, His love for me, I just smile... I wanna serve Him, Please Him, do absolutely whatever Will put a smile on His face...

Again, thanks.

-a Fellow Servant

john 6
35 Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But you haven’t believed in me even though you have seen me. 37 However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them. 38 For I have come down from heaven to do the will of God who sent me, not to do my own will. 39 And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day. 40 For it is my Father’s will that all who see his Son and believe in him should have eternal life. I will raise them up at the last day.”

 

[Saricharity]

I asked my dad this question and I know it sounds simple but if you are worried you have fallen from Grace then you haven't. If you are seeking God and praying...asking for forgiveness for sin, you are His child. If anything, He is doing a good work in you. He is working on your heart. HUGS!!
If you have asked Jesus to be The Lord of your life and are doing your best to live your life in Him then you are saved. You cannot loose your salvation even if you backslide...Jesus will hang on tight. You may feel distanced but Jesus never moves from your heart.
Google some verses on assurance of salvation.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

I asked my dad this question and I know it sounds simple but if you are worried you have fallen from Grace then you haven't. If you are seeking God and praying...asking for forgiveness for sin, you are His child. If anything, He is doing a good work in you. He is working on your heart. HUGS!!
If you have asked Jesus to be The Lord of your life and are doing your best to live your life in Him then you are saved. You cannot loose your salvation even if you backslide...Jesus will hang on tight. You may feel distanced but Jesus never moves from your heart.
Google some verses on assurance of salvation.

Thanks friend, and thank you all for your advice and help, I'm feeling better everyday!

-The Lowest Servant

 

[CrossDrivenWriter]

I too have struggled with this before, but I always get set straight. Part of my problem is that I can't remember the exact moment of my salvation because I was saved young. This isn't impossible, but it can lead to doubt when you hear all the amazing conversion stories. Was I truly saved if I couldn't remember the experience?

The thing about salvation is that it isn't based on your past. It's based on your present. If you want to know whether you are walking in the light, you do not try to remember when the sun rose. You simply look and see whether the sun is in the sky.

It is the same with salvation. You don't have to look at your past failures to know whether you are saved. You look at your present fruit. Are you grieved over a sin you have committed? Then you are certainly His child! The Holy Spirit does not grieve the lost heart over particular sins.

When the Holy Spirit convicts the lost, it is over their rejection of Christ. Louis Zamperini, the man at the center of the story of Unbroken, left a Billy Graham Crusade not because he was told to stop drinking. He left because he was accused of being a sinner. It was only after he gave his life to Christ that he poured the alcohol down the drain.

Don't be afraid that you've lost your salvation because you've committed a sin. The Flesh is still in us, and it tempts us every day. Sometimes we fail, and it can feel like a knife to the heart. We ask ourselves whether we were ever truly his because of how disappointed we are in what we've done. But that's what the Good News is all about. We can boldly go to the throne of grace and be forgiven of our sins, no matter how terrible they are.