Can you please pray for God to stop hating me. To leave me alone if he is just going to cause more problems for me.
Thank-you.
I know it feels that way, and feelings aren't right or wrong, but God does not hate you. I don't know why you're being tested right now, but I've been there, the incredible loneliness, the awful physical pain (which in itself triggers depression) and feeling like He's not hearing you when you ask for His help.
Sometimes you just have to wait for everything to come together. Imagine cooking a nice Thanksgiving dinner. That turkey's going to take a while to bake. Try rushing it by turning up the heat, and it will be dry and unevenly cooked. You might even end up with a charred, smoking carcass of a turkey. You have to be patient and let it cook slowly if it's going to be a successful dinner.
He's hearing you. It's just that the turkey's still in the oven. I'm sorry that analogy is inadequate, but it's the best I can come up with. My prayer for you is that He gives you peace and comfort while you're waiting for the resolution to your problems. They WILL come. That's been my experience.
Edited after reading your update: I'm sorry. I know it hurts. It's OK with Him if you tell Him how disappointed you are in Him. He's big enough to take it. You're not going to hurt His feelings.
When everything works out in the end, you'll look back and see that it all went the way it was supposed to. You can't see it from here, but you'll see it then.
