hand on knee

[Nom De Guerre]

Hard to say, sounds like you might be an option, or he's just a busy person and you need to give him his space; the flirting may just be his style of mannerism, and while he may enjoy flirting, and what-not, it might not mean the same thing to him as it does to you.

Take it from a former player, doesn't matter much if I was able to make you smile, make you laugh, make you do what I want; the end result is all I'm going for, and chances are I know that if I keep you suspenseful about how the relationship is going, the more you're going to think about me, the more you're going to think you need me, and the easier it's going to be for me to get you to do just about anything for me.

Or, like I said, he's just busy and needs his space.

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

Oh, other info, I texted him a joke about Italian food and he texted back last week that if I remind him, he will show me some amazing Italian food in (a local city near me).

So I am guessing I should wait a certain amount of time before contacting again? Am I understanding that correctly?

 

[Nom De Guerre]

In which circumstance, the guy or the girl?

-The girl, yeah, maybe giving him his space would be the best option; see if he actually puts an effort into seeing you again, but even then I'd be a little leery, if he likes the chase, he could be puttin' out a little bait to see how strung he's got you if you seem like you're gettin' ready to make a move...

but, this is all, of course, based on the presumption that he is a player.

I'm not sayin' that he is.

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

In which circumstance, the guy or the girl?

-The girl, yeah, maybe giving him his space would be the best option; see if he actually puts an effort into seeing you again, but even then I'd be a little leery, if he likes the chase, he could be puttin' out a little bait to see how strung he's got you if you seem like you're gettin' ready to make a move...

but, this is all, of course, based on the presumption that he is a player.

I'm not sayin' that he is.

He asked what class I had Friday night (I asked him to teach me how to play chess on Friday). I mentioned that I was taking a course in Boundaries in Dating and this course has a book. His church has similar courses, but he has not taken any. He took a course at his church that was basically on how to be a man and that one had a book. Don't know if that says anything. He is mid-late 20s and has had 1 serious relationship.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Personally, I think over-analyzing this gets you nowhere; I could pick apart every detail of what you just told me, but it still doesn't make me correct.

If you want an analysis though, okay: from the idea of him having to learn to be a Godly man, I'd say he either is learning the tools of the trade or disguise, or he actually has no idea what it's like to be involved in a deeper committed relationship with God as the center.

I'd have to also ask the question, did he know about your boundary class before the hands-on flirting happened?

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

Personally, I think over-analyzing this gets you nowhere; I could pick apart every detail of what you just told me, but it still doesn't make me correct.

If you want an analysis though, okay: from the idea of him having to learn to be a Godly man, I'd say he either is learning the tools of the trade or disguise, or he actually has no idea what it's like to be involved in a deeper committed relationship with God as the center.

I'd have to also ask the question, did he know about your boundary class before the hands-on flirting happened?

He knew I had a class at a church. I never said what it was before.

He was a young adult when he was baptized. I saw the pics on his FB page and he has a video of it that can is recorded on something connected to his computer.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

lol well then, perhaps I'm just to accustomed to hustlin' ladies that I see hustle moves everywhere I go sounds like you should just give him his space; and if it turns out that he is hustlin' you, idk, lol yay me?

 

[Blank123]

hm. the not making firm plans thing would be a red flag for me. everything else... I'd wonder if he was just being shy. but even shy guys can make set dates and plans. If he's really interested in you, and not playing with your heart, he's going to make you a priority.

I'd also suggest backing off for awhile and see what he does. If there's genuine interest then he should start taking more initiative to show interest in you.

 

[timothyZ]

Maybe I'm a prude, but to me, a guy putting his hand on a woman's knee, it just seems like it's TOO close toooo ummm..well you know.

I would have to really, really, really, know for sure a girl was totally comfortable with me, before I even thought about putting my hand on her knee.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a puritanical person. No hats with beltbuckles here. I just think a guy's hand on a woman's knee, due to its close location to areas that shouldn't be gone near til marriage, is a really big signal.

I think most guys would do well to follow a simple rule of, "Do everything you can to NOT freak the girl out."

 

[mina]

^ I sorta agree with that. I wouldn't want a guy I just casually know who may or may not have a crush on me to just put his hand on my knee. It would be well, weird and it would be sort of intimate to me. And it would be awkward..... It reminds me of like a 7th grade boy like randomly touching a girl in a weird place just to get the thrill of touching a girl.

If we were dating; especially dating for a while, it really wouldn't bother me and I'd take it as a sign he was really attracted to me. But if it were someone i'm not dating and we just casually hung out and i wasn't sure if he liked me or not; I would be a little uncomfortable and would rather he touch my arm or hand or something.

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

Ok, I had texted him this weekend about a jazz club I was going to with friends and he said he was busy that night. He IMed me tonight twice with faces and we talked more the second time, first time I was off to dinner. He said he likes me but likes our quasi-dates. They are safe and fun and let him enjoy being with me and keeps him out of trouble-all things he said. I mentioned he had competition, and mentioned that he wants to be friends with the next person that he dates. It sounded like he might actually take more initiative to spend time doing something with me. What do you all think?

 

[Daedalus^2]

Ok, I'll be honest... If I'm in a theatre, I don't touch anyone. Ever.

However, if I'm talking with one of my friends, and she's upset - then yes, I will touch her knee. Why is it so sexualized? It's a knee. Are elbows taboo as well now?

As for otherwise... The occasional horsebite if we're messing around with each other comes up depending on the friend.

 

[timothyZ]

I mentioned he had competition, and mentioned that he wants to be friends with the next person that he dates. It sounded like he might actually take more initiative to spend time doing something with me. What do you all think?

I think lighting a fire under him was beneficial. Should help him decide what he's doin here. No sense in wasting someone's time.

 

[Isolation]

What would it mean if a girl put her hand on your knee?

 

[Daughter of Ararat]

What would it mean if a girl put her hand on your knee?

For starters, she is really comfortable with him. Maybe they are dating or he is her gay best friend or something? I would imagine a seductive woman might try that too.