Gold Tickets to Heaven

[DaisyDay]

Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven” | City World News

Tito Watts said in his police statement: I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold.

Did anyone actually buy tickets from this couple?

 

[classicalhero]

If it was for Willy Wonka's chocolate factory tour, I would have bought one quickly.

 

[dgiharris]

actually, in their defense, if they claimed to be selling "golden tickets to heaven" there is no stipulation that the tickets have to be solid gold or contain any gold.

Gold is a color. Just as Red and Blue and Silver are colors.

It's just that the word "gold" has multiple meanings.

So legally, they actually should be more than okay selling "golden tickets to heaven" if they have a lawyer that is halfway competent then they should get off completely scott free.

THe only thing that could sink them though is that they are claiming it's "solid gold" in the police report. However, even with that, I think a lawyer should be able to get them off.

But yeah, I really want to know who bought those tickets from them.

I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…

Wow, the above is insane, literally. Unfortunately, I bet they go to jail instead of a mental facility

 

[Glass*Soul]

Sort of like buying indulgences?

 

[Cearbhall]

"And a baby alligator." That's my favorite part.

In all seriousness, though, hundreds of people bought it? Who knew it was that easy to make money?

 

[ThinkForYourself]

Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven” | City World News


Did anyone actually buy tickets from this couple?

How is this any different that the televangelists who sell prayer rugs, anointed water, and all the rest of their scams?

Besides the fact that these people aren't well heeled?

 

[keith99]

How is this any different that the televangelists who sell prayer rugs, anointed water, and all the rest of their scams?

Besides the fact that these people aren't well heeled?

That they said the tickets were solid gold!

Which the police spokesman emphasizes in the linked article!

ReadForYourself

 

[TillICollapse]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

 

[Booko]

Wow, the above is insane, literally. Unfortunately, I bet they go to jail instead of a mental facility

I'm afraid you're probably right. We really are messed up how we treat mentally ill people.

 

[Booko]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

ROFL good catch!

Maybe I should head for bed. Missing that is a sign from...somewhere...

 

[TillICollapse]

ROFL good catch!

Maybe I should head for bed. Missing that is a sign from...somewhere...

 

[ThinkForYourself]

That they said the tickets were solid gold!

Which the police spokesman emphasizes in the linked article!

ReadForYourself

Yeah, I saw that. I always thought "solid gold" meant really good, or legit, which a ticket to heaven would be:

I should'a been their lawyer. They would have gotten to keep the 10k.

 

[ThinkForYourself]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

LOL, doh!

 

[TillICollapse]

LOL, doh!

The pic they used for the guy was from a Halloween mugshot taken in 2012 or some such Plus a quick Google showed the site uses fake stories, etc.

 

[ThinkForYourself]

The pic they used for the guy was from a Halloween mugshot taken in 2012 or some such Plus a quick Google showed the site uses fake stories, etc.

The funny thing is, it's totally plausible.

The only thing that made me wonder was how they had managed to save 10k.

 

[TillICollapse]

The funny thing is, it's totally plausible.

The only thing that made me wonder was how they had managed to save 10k.

It's plausible, but the article had that "trying too hard" feel to it. The mentioning of crack more than once by the individuals, seemed too overt. Like it was trying to stand out. By the time I got done reading it, I thought, "Nope. Gotta be fake." lol.

 

[dgiharris]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

I think this has inspired me.

I am going to put together a youtube series where I sell some ridiculous item, like tickets to heaven...

Wonder how much you could make if you put up a little vendor stand and advertised some ridiculous item like "tickets to heaven" for $1.

Think about it. I mean, even if there is a 0.000001% chance it can work, isn't it worth a dollar? That will be my advertisement slogan...

though, i'm not sure how Jesus will take it...

hmmm.... perhaps if on the ticket there are a few lines of Scripture...

then the tickets would actually be legit!!!!

everyone's happy

 

[DaisyDay]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

You're right! I should have looked at the other articles.:o

http://cityworldnews.com/live-kitten-last-meal/

http://cityworldnews.com/meth-energy-drinks/

 

[keith99]

Satire site, article isn't legit.

I should have figured it out. Even those who know little else know gold is heavy.

 

[dgiharris]

You're right! I should have looked at the other articles.:o

Death Row Inmate Requests A ‘Kitten’ As Last Meal | City World News

Man Busted Selling “Energy Drinks” Containing Meth | City World News

That is one strange website,
I love the quote at the end of the energy drink article, "Just so you know I ****** in every bottle"