Advice? How do I start to meet new people. Because of the seriousness of the situation, I am **over** her.
Background on divorce:
I married my childhood sweetheart. Twenty years ago. We had four kids together. It was extremely rocky at first. She had serious commitment problems, always leaving, scared because I would "go away" (as much sense that makes).
I don't know how many guys she has slept with during that time. At least four. First one, she told me about when we were first involved. It killed me. Then she told me she wanted to keep the relationship platonic because I was "too pure".
We finally got together, had the time of our lives... but took off again. I was asking myself, "who do you love" and couldn't even stomach to look at anyone else.
I tried moving back in. Almost immediately, she went out with a guy friend, came back plastered drunk, and I had to listen to them having sex. I took off after that, it was unbearable.
Finally, decided she was not "the one", and we started dating. I literally caught her naked in bed with another man.
Yet, still I decided to go with her and marry her.
We started over. Had three kids. I thought it was blissful. She claimed she did, too, but complained a lot. Then, the mysterious phone calls, the routine trips, the trips out of town, and her constant wishes to take more trips out of town.
I am not a dumb person. I asked her. She is a very good liar. I made the mistake of trusting her yet again.
I reasoned, "either I can simply trust her, and live in peace, or I will always be wondering".
You have to understand: I am very good looking, successful, charming, and so on. I am not some loser. She genuinely seems to adore me. She is a good actor, but I think that was real.
Anyway, I had to take a job in Chicago, and then I discovered, in fact, she had kept a boyfriend from her past... and that has been what allllll the stress in our marriage about.
I did not videotape it or get a recording of it. I find that beneath me. But I heard it and saw it with my own eyes. I am not interested in a messy divorce, just a "no fault" one.
Restarting my life:
This is a severe situation. I had suspicions for sometime, and it took me awhile to decide, but when I did, it was final and I got her completely out of my heart and mind.
No more.
I have been keeping myself from someone much better all along, obviously, and have to do what is right for me, and ultimately, my kids.
So please no, "oh give it time".
What do people do to start talking to people?
I have only dated one person, so that also concerns me.
Thanks for the help.
Background on divorce:
I married my childhood sweetheart. Twenty years ago. We had four kids together. It was extremely rocky at first. She had serious commitment problems, always leaving, scared because I would "go away" (as much sense that makes).
I don't know how many guys she has slept with during that time. At least four. First one, she told me about when we were first involved. It killed me. Then she told me she wanted to keep the relationship platonic because I was "too pure".
We finally got together, had the time of our lives... but took off again. I was asking myself, "who do you love" and couldn't even stomach to look at anyone else.
I tried moving back in. Almost immediately, she went out with a guy friend, came back plastered drunk, and I had to listen to them having sex. I took off after that, it was unbearable.
Finally, decided she was not "the one", and we started dating. I literally caught her naked in bed with another man.
Yet, still I decided to go with her and marry her.
We started over. Had three kids. I thought it was blissful. She claimed she did, too, but complained a lot. Then, the mysterious phone calls, the routine trips, the trips out of town, and her constant wishes to take more trips out of town.
I am not a dumb person. I asked her. She is a very good liar. I made the mistake of trusting her yet again.
I reasoned, "either I can simply trust her, and live in peace, or I will always be wondering".
You have to understand: I am very good looking, successful, charming, and so on. I am not some loser. She genuinely seems to adore me. She is a good actor, but I think that was real.
Anyway, I had to take a job in Chicago, and then I discovered, in fact, she had kept a boyfriend from her past... and that has been what allllll the stress in our marriage about.
I did not videotape it or get a recording of it. I find that beneath me. But I heard it and saw it with my own eyes. I am not interested in a messy divorce, just a "no fault" one.
Restarting my life:
This is a severe situation. I had suspicions for sometime, and it took me awhile to decide, but when I did, it was final and I got her completely out of my heart and mind.
No more.
I have been keeping myself from someone much better all along, obviously, and have to do what is right for me, and ultimately, my kids.
So please no, "oh give it time".
What do people do to start talking to people?
I have only dated one person, so that also concerns me.
Thanks for the help.