Does anyone ever find themselves getting obsesseive about whether God is asking you to do something? In this case it's about deleting all or part of my music collection? Three times in my life I have gotten rid of most or all of my music collection because I felt it's what God wanted me to do. I've struggled for most of my life with feeling like God wants me to give up my music, either because there is something wrong or spiriually deficient about the style of music I like (in this case primarily instrumental electronic/ambient music) or because I feel like it's an idol.
I just recently downloaded some music and felt uncertain about whether it was something God approved of. I immediately began to feel like I shouldn't have downloaded it and that God wanted me to delete it. The feeling that I should delete it became all consuming and wouldn't leave me alone. I was thinking that it might be OCD because I've been overtired and had trouble sleeping lately, so I tried to ignore it and went to bed. Not only did I have trouble falling asleep due to my anxiety about the issue, but I woke up this morning and it was the first thing that came to mind. I was going to try waiting several days and see if the thought/feeling that I needed to delete the music went away or lessened, but I ended up feeling like I had to do it before I left for work this morning, so I deleted it all.
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of issue? How did you come to have peace and clarity (if you in fact have ever had peace and clarity)? I really don't want to miss out on enjoying something that's a good gift from God if He's not asking me to give it up, but I also want to obey him if it's really him. I can't help but wonder, "Is this God or is it my OCD?" How do I distinguish the difference? Part of my struggle, I think, is that I'm afraid that if this isn't God's voice, then I don't know what His voice sounds like, because otherwise I don't hear it at all.
I just recently downloaded some music and felt uncertain about whether it was something God approved of. I immediately began to feel like I shouldn't have downloaded it and that God wanted me to delete it. The feeling that I should delete it became all consuming and wouldn't leave me alone. I was thinking that it might be OCD because I've been overtired and had trouble sleeping lately, so I tried to ignore it and went to bed. Not only did I have trouble falling asleep due to my anxiety about the issue, but I woke up this morning and it was the first thing that came to mind. I was going to try waiting several days and see if the thought/feeling that I needed to delete the music went away or lessened, but I ended up feeling like I had to do it before I left for work this morning, so I deleted it all.
Has anyone else had to deal with this sort of issue? How did you come to have peace and clarity (if you in fact have ever had peace and clarity)? I really don't want to miss out on enjoying something that's a good gift from God if He's not asking me to give it up, but I also want to obey him if it's really him. I can't help but wonder, "Is this God or is it my OCD?" How do I distinguish the difference? Part of my struggle, I think, is that I'm afraid that if this isn't God's voice, then I don't know what His voice sounds like, because otherwise I don't hear it at all.
