For me I have been searching for over 2 and a half years. Started going to church at a seeker sensitive place in the mid 90's, switched around 2000 to a charismatic church, and around 2005 began being drawn to Eastern Orthodoxy. My wife almost ran kicking and screaming from the EO service we went to, so I more or less scratched it off my list. She is only slightly less apprehensive about RC, which I have really been studying hard for the past 6 months or so, and have started to love. She wants to still go to the happy clappy church, and I feel so empty there, so right now, I don't much attend church at all. Trying to find somewhere we can both go. The EO priest advised me to go where my wife wants because it is more important for us to worship together. I just can't do it.
I feel like just giving up.
I can relate... really. My hubby is the Catholic and is of the mind that anything else is heresy. I don't agree with that. And RCC makes me very uncomfortable in a lot of ways. (I respect it and don't consider those who practice it "wrong" - but for ME, it is all just weird. Note that I said for "ME") *putting on helmut* Just about everything in RCC is weird for me. I am not comfortable with many of the beliefs, nor the ritual things like crossing myself, rosary, veneration of Saints, etc. I am not saying it is "wrong" in itself. It just doesn't feel right to ME.
Like your wife, I have been to the "happy clappy" types. I went to an Assembly of God Church for a few years. If that is what she likes, she may feel a lot like me in a RCC Church. I go with my hubby, and I don't mind going if that will keep him going... but so far, it does nothing for me. It's causing me a lot of conflict in terms of trying to call myself "Catholic".
I am seriously considering going down the road to the UMC or LCMS church. It may mean that I go to Church twice on Sunday. Once with the family and once for myself.
It has been suggested to me that an LCMS might be something that would meet both of our needs, but my hubby is really not open to anything but RCC. But if you haven't looked at LCMS, perhaps it might work for you.
Or if you are the less stubborn half of the marriage, you may consider the dual route that I am considering. And go to Mass on your own if RCC is the best place for you, then going along with your wife to the one she likes.
I think it IS true that worshipping together is important. I've been going to Mass with my hubby and in terms of our relationship, it's a good thing. I haven't told him yet how I feel because I am still trying to figure out exactly how I feel. But I also know that he is the type that needs some external motivation to even go to Mass. If I didn't go, he probably wouldn't go.
So I remain conflicted for now.
But as you search for the right fit for you, I think it is important to consider your marriage as well and consider what is right for both of you. Your solution is out there.
It must be rigged... 
