Feminist Marraiges

[ValleyGal]

Aww, broad brushes. I had a massive pontine stroke some years back. I'm technically brain damaged with an ABI, but all cognitive testing suggests my standardised IQ is the same as it ever was. Yes, yes, anecdotal, single data points aren't conclusive of anything, but felt it worth mentioning.

This is a narrow brush....there are those who use their disabilities as excuses to disengage when the conversation gets too much for them. So when it is conveniently used to disengage by the person himself ("well, I have a brain injury, so...."), then intellectual conversations can be easily dismissed by that same conclusion from those he is conversing with. Fair? I'm sure it's not, but why start a conversation at a scholarly level when you can't actually converse about it? Why make assertions when there is nothing but opinion to back up those assertions (even logically)? Yes, there are a lot of very intellectual brain-injured people out there....my husband had a head injury when he was in his teens and he is graduating with a master's degree soon. But when it is repeatedly used as an excuse, well, maybe fair game.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

This is a narrow brush....there are those who use their disabilities as excuses to disengage when the conversation gets too much for them. So when it is conveniently used to disengage by the person himself ("well, I have a brain injury, so...."), then intellectual conversations can be easily dismissed by that same conclusion from those he is conversing with. Fair? I'm sure it's not, but why start a conversation at a scholarly level when you can't actually converse about it? Why make assertions when there is nothing but opinion to back up those assertions (even logically)? Yes, there are a lot of very intellectual brain-injured people out there....my husband had a head injury when he was in his teens and he is graduating with a master's degree soon. But when it is repeatedly used as an excuse, well, maybe fair game.

Agreed. Having my own brain injury I don't let it limit me if I can. Sure maybe there are some things that are hard for me, but it doesn't mean every part of life is impossible or hard. I still got married, still want to have a little girl, like to get a degree in counseling. God has a purpose for everyone, so don't let something like a brain injury be an excuse to limit what you can do. Heck if anything I am happy because mine wasn't extreme. Our one friend who had a brain injury can't really walk, can't talk, has to be changed because he wears an adult diaper. Just recently the implant in his head he had was rejected by his body. So all the progress he made seems to be lost again. He essentially has the brain of a 10 year old they said.

 

[Armoured]

This is a narrow brush....there are those who use their disabilities as excuses to disengage when the conversation gets too much for them. So when it is conveniently used to disengage by the person himself ("well, I have a brain injury, so...."), then intellectual conversations can be easily dismissed by that same conclusion from those he is conversing with. Fair? I'm sure it's not, but why start a conversation at a scholarly level when you can't actually converse about it? Why make assertions when there is nothing but opinion to back up those assertions (even logically)? Yes, there are a lot of very intellectual brain-injured people out there....my husband had a head injury when he was in his teens and he is graduating with a master's degree soon. But when it is repeatedly used as an excuse, well, maybe fair game.

Fair enough.

 

[LinkH]

My wife and I are divorcing,

I'm sorry to hear that. Are you doing okay?

and if I get remarried, depending on her last name, I may take it. I have a friend, her last name is Maria (a wonderful Italian last name) and if her and I were to marry (just an example) I would easily take her last name.

Mine, being Jones, is too plain and too common.

I had a friend who had a hyphenated last name. The last part of it was 'Brown.' Her dad was some kind of evangelical missionary, the type that I might think were a bit conservative, so the hyphenated name thing didn't seem to fit the stereotype. But he wanted to change it because Brown was such a generic and common last name.

 

[Boidae]

I'm sorry to hear that. Are you doing okay?

I'm doing well. Thank you for asking. I am actually healthier emotionally, mentally and physically since the separation.

 

[Larniavc]

Oh gee....let's see...in my marriage of almost 18 years...we have separate bank accounts, I kept my name, and we jointly own what few assets we have (retirement accounts and cars). I was in my mid-30's when we got married and so was he. All personal decisions are made together which has never led to conflict because we're pretty much always on the same page. I am totally in charge of my professional career (which I have retired from after his health challenges). We are equal in almost every way with a few exceptions. He is more artistic and is always in charge of furniture buying and decorating and I am the mechanic who handles all repairs including cars.

We were together for 4 years before we married. We got married by a JOP on a Friday morning and took the weekend off on a honeymoon. My family threw us a big party at Christmas which is the traditional time the family gets together...that year was in Tahoe.
So we have an egalitarian, complementary (by the dictionary definition) marriage and so far, so good.
Say what you will but marriages are as individual as the couples involved.

Sounds just like my marriage. We went out for a year in our 30s, moved in after a year and got married four years later.

We hyphenated our last names because we are a team. We make most decisions together (she does the money, though) and we both went part time win our son was born so we could be more or less equal time parents.

Dunno what all this 'warrior' nonsense is: I've not had to get into a fight since I was a school boy.