When I was around seven or eight, I got "saved" and baptized. I don't believe I really knew what it meant, or that I was necessarily ready. To ask God into your life is to be a slave to him. As I grew up, I stopped praying, stopped doing pretty much everything. There was always a tug at my heart though.
Now... I rededicated my life on the 26th, or asked God to come back in my life. Started over, so to speak. I've done this a couple times over the years, but this time was different. I actually cried afterwards, with this overwhelming feeling when I thought about Jesus. It was just so... I can't even explain it. I felt both ashamed and happy and saddened and refreshed.
I still feel so weak in my faith. I've had desires to read my bible, and pray many times and I try to do so. But, I was reading my bible last night and was terrified. I see things like having to become like a child to see heaven, and that if you accept God, and then continue to sin purposefully there is no sacrifice anymore, and even, if you deny Jesus, he will deny you in front of the father. Don't even get me started about the unforgivable sin.
I think I've done all of those things in the past (I'm not sure about the unforgivable sin, but I'm so fearful that I have). Does this mean that I will not go to heaven no matter how hard I try, or believe?
I've prayed but still feel helpless. What if he's turned away from me? I also have questions about fearing God, but I'll try not to get into that stuff now. Please help.
-Desi
P.s: Sorry if this is in the wrong forum.
Now... I rededicated my life on the 26th, or asked God to come back in my life. Started over, so to speak. I've done this a couple times over the years, but this time was different. I actually cried afterwards, with this overwhelming feeling when I thought about Jesus. It was just so... I can't even explain it. I felt both ashamed and happy and saddened and refreshed.
I still feel so weak in my faith. I've had desires to read my bible, and pray many times and I try to do so. But, I was reading my bible last night and was terrified. I see things like having to become like a child to see heaven, and that if you accept God, and then continue to sin purposefully there is no sacrifice anymore, and even, if you deny Jesus, he will deny you in front of the father. Don't even get me started about the unforgivable sin.
I think I've done all of those things in the past (I'm not sure about the unforgivable sin, but I'm so fearful that I have). Does this mean that I will not go to heaven no matter how hard I try, or believe?
I've prayed but still feel helpless. What if he's turned away from me? I also have questions about fearing God, but I'll try not to get into that stuff now. Please help.
-Desi
P.s: Sorry if this is in the wrong forum.