i dont understand why god lets bad things happen to us why people die i know everyone does eventally but i dont know why he lets makes me be lone why he dont save me i believe in him but i dont feel him or feel loved or cared bout
The Lord God doesn't wish for anything bad to happen he wants all to be saved.
2Pe_3:9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.
God is grieved when one one of his children are sinned against or sin.
Eph_4:30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
At the same time, for every cause there is an effect. There is a consequence for every action. God is not going to take away the consequences. He never promised that nor did he allude to take away consequences while we live on earth. For every bad thing that happens to every Christian, God will get vengeance.
Rom_12:19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.
Heb_10:30 For we know Him who said, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY." And again, "THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE."
When it comes to not understanding, we have to understand God never said he would let you understand everything. He's only revealed what we need to be saved, no more.
Deu_29:29 "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.
Isa_55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Rom 11:33-36 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! (34) For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, OR WHO BECAME HIS COUNSELOR? (35) Or WHO HAS FIRST GIVEN TO HIM THAT IT MIGHT BE PAID BACK TO HIM AGAIN? (36) For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
Finally, everyone experiences God's presence differently. Some physically, some mentally and some through struggling.
Jas 1:2-12 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, (3) knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. (4) And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (5) But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (6) But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. (7) For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, (8) being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (9) But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position; (10) and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away. (11) For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away. (12) Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
2Co 12:7-11 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself! (8) Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. (9) And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. (10) Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (11) I have become foolish; you yourselves compelled me. Actually I should have been commended by you, for in no respect was I inferior to the most eminent apostles, even though I am a nobody.
Even looking at the Apostles. Peter was crucified upside down, John was beheaded, Paul was beaten, shipwrecked, hunted, David was hunted - the list goes on.
2Co 11:23-31 Are they servants of Christ?--I speak as if insane--I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. (24) Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. (25) Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. (26) I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; (27) I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (28) Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches. (29) Who is weak without my being weak? Who is led into sin without my intense concern? (30) If I have to boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness. (31) The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, He who is blessed forever, knows that I am not lying.
Perhaps your struggling is a gift from God to show the world perseverance, faith in Jesus and strength unlike others who could not handle your experiences?