Does intercourse equal marriage?

[tuliplane]

According to a website I was reading from, the Bible implies that intercourse equals marriage. So if someone was in their early teens and impulsively decided to give in to having sex that makes them married? What if a couple is married and one of the spouses engaged in sexual activity prior to their marriage, does that mean that the person is really married to the person with whom they had sex with first? I'd appreciate some Biblically sound answers.

 

[seeingeyes]

No. It does not. That view is scripturally insupportable.

Just a couple examples from the OT:

"If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives." (Deut 28:29)

How can a man marry a woman that he has had sex with if by having sex then were already married?


"If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death—the young woman because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man’s wife."(Deut 22:23-24)

How can a virgin be anyone's wife if sex equals marriage?

Such a view leads to all sorts of nonsensical craziness. Was Lot married to his daughter? Did he commit adultery against his daughter/wife when the other daughter slept with him? Or did he have two daughter/wives then?

It's a big headache. Stay away from it.

 

[tuliplane]

I'm not saying I agree with this whole viewpoint, I'm just trying to see what the Bible teaches about what marriage is. I see in cases in the Bible sex does seem to imply marriage; in the cases of Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah and Onan and his deceased brother's wife it seems they went in unto them and became married that way.

 

[Inkfingers]

IIRC marriage is made by intercourse (hence it needing to be consumated otherwise it does not count).

 

[Optimus Fortis]

Generally in the ancient world, marriage took place from its consummation.

Before the consummation, the man sought and gained the permission from the woman's father to marry. Afterwards, there was a covenant feast.

Marriage was seen as a blood covenant between two families which is unto death, hence the importance of female virginity.

One reason why virginity is cheap in the West is that it has forgotten blood covenant.

 

[seeingeyes]

I'm not saying I agree with this whole viewpoint, I'm just trying to see what the Bible teaches about what marriage is. I see in cases in the Bible sex does seem to imply marriage; in the cases of Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah and Onan and his deceased brother's wife it seems they went in unto them and became married that way.

Jesus said, "a man leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his wife". That's about as good a description of how marriage begins as you'll get in scripture. There is no recipe for marriage. And the only weddings we see are at the reception.

I think that that can be surprising considering how seriously we take paperwork in our current culture, but that does not mean that sex = marriage (for the reasons I gave in my first post). Marriage takes more than hopping in the sack with somebody and less than government paperwork.

The scriptures are silent on "procedure", here.

 

[dragongunner]

Adultery is being married, and sleeping with another partner.

Fornication for the most part in definition is having sex with your partner but are not married to them.

You will find countless scripture talking about adultery, and fornication.

Joseph almost put away Mary becuase he found out she was with child, they were not married yet, he was going to put her away because of fornication.

Later the enemies of Christ called him "a son of fornication."


So no, sex does not equal marriage.

 

[Gunny]

Jesus said, "a man leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his wife". That's about as good a description of how marriage begins as you'll get in scripture.

Amen and Amen.

In my humble opinion the covenant relationship of marriage (the covenant between a man and a woman and God being at the center of this relationship) reveals much to us concerning the follower of Jesus Christ(the bride) and Jesus Christ (the bridegroom of the follower of Jesus Christ) and our covenant relationship with our kinsman redeemer (Jesus).

 

[tulipbee]

According to a website I was reading from, the Bible implies that intercourse equals marriage. So if someone was in their early teens and impulsively decided to give in to having sex that makes them married? What if a couple is married and one of the spouses engaged in sexual activity prior to their marriage, does that mean that the person is really married to the person with whom they had sex with first? I'd appreciate some Biblically sound answers.

Times changed so we don't stone people and all that. If you get her pregnant, then you joined her egg and made one, the baby. You need to help her for a little while till the kid leaves.

 

[Rhamiel]

John 4:17-18
17 I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”


this seems to show that marriage is more then just sex, she is with a man now, but that is not recognized as a marriage

 

[ob77]

When the man threw his skirt over the woman as to hide the act, that was considered an act of marriage.....a sort of confirmation as to their commitment to each other.
There were no licenses or permits to be applied for. You have heard of course of "shotgun weddings"......if a man made a woman pregnant, he owned it and had to care for the family as a whole. Perhaps they had "stone weddings" in the day. Hormones rage in the young and that was no different then than now, but then they did not have the government to supply an unwed mother with the needs of shelter, food and clothing.
Young men and women should be more thoughtful as to consequences, but in the heat of battle, they lose sight of what is down the road. My wife and I were fortunate enough to have children when we were ready, if there is such a thing. I was 17 and she was 16 when we started fooling around, but I did not father a child until I was 25. If by chance I would have become a father at 18 I would have owned up to it. It would have been difficult but it can be done and should be the law of the land, but it is not, but then Isaiah told us that in these times "Everything that is right shall be called wrong, and everything that is wrong shall be called right". And the beat goes on..............

 

[revrobor]

Many, if not most, Christians in the U.S. today do not know the difference between Biblical marriage and Civil marriage. A civil marriage takes place when a couple and the officiate sign a marriage license obtained from the governmental agency having jurisdiction over the location where the ceremony takes place. Civil marriages are not required for a couple to be Biblically married. Civil marriage licenses were first issued in the south because southern states wanted to keep track of mixed race marriages and those states also found it a good way to generate revenue. Other states followed suit. Those licenses also legally protect the couple. A Biblical marriage takes place when a man and a woman have sexual intercourse after pledging before god to be devoted to one another for life. There are a number of verses that say something like "...he went into her and they became husband and wife". Some of those are mentioned in post #3 above.

 

[Gunny]

"and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ".

Matthew 1:16
NIV