Does anybody have similar problems with this issue?

[Christownsme]

My girlfriend and I planned on getting married after about 2 years of dating, and it's taking awhile because we had agreed I pay off my debts before actually going thru it. We want to be debt free.

Ever since we've been dating we've been arguing out premarital sex. I try drawing boundaries but when I do, she claims I want to leave her. Her feelings are hurt as a result.

I just want to be moral about things, avoid guilty consciences and such. I had to leave my first girlfriend because she was taking advantage of me sexually. Then I became addicted to sex thru pornography. I'm learning how to live without all that stuff, and my counselor says I shouldn't be having premarital sex, it will bring back memories of the addiction. Once I'm married it would be ok.

I feel like my girlfriend is pressuring me into having sex, and now that I've drawn my boundaries she is using guilt to get to me.

What should I do? We really love each other and had such a good time with each other until this all happened.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

You should communicate with your girlfriend about your past struggles in pornography and sex. Tell her that you want to be right with God.

Is she Christian? This is an important factor. She should be right with God too. She shouldn't talk about premarital sex like this if she is a Christian.

Also, she may be feeling 'unwanted,' perhaps because guys in her past may have had sexual encounters with her. She might've mistook those encounters as 'love' and feeling 'wanted.' You being 'different' with her may shock her a bit.

Remember, keeping your hands off and letting God handle things is the key. It's showing not only signs of respect and love for your girlfriend, but also obedience and love to our Father as well. Your moments as married couple should be blissful and full of happiness showered by God, but you should not do what married couples do when you're not married as you know already.

Be courteous and respectful as God's prince. She's not yours today, and who knows if she will be tomorrow or many years to come? Until you guys are married, don't give into the pressure.

If, in extreme case, she doesn't change her ways and persist on wanting premarital sex and doing things that are unjust with God, then I suggest you break it off cleanly.

 

[Johnnz]

You have different boundaries it seems. If she is placing guilt onto you she is not coming from a well formed Christian perspective. Having a struggle i s one thing, imposing guilt is another.

John
NZ

 

[in His shadow]

My girlfriend and I planned on getting married after about 2 years of dating, and it's taking awhile because we had agreed I pay off my debts before actually going thru it. We want to be debt free.

Ever since we've been dating we've been arguing out premarital sex. I try drawing boundaries but when I do, she claims I want to leave her. Her feelings are hurt as a result.

I just want to be moral about things, avoid guilty consciences and such. I had to leave my first girlfriend because she was taking advantage of me sexually. Then I became addicted to sex thru pornography. I'm learning how to live without all that stuff, and my counselor says I shouldn't be having premarital sex, it will bring back memories of the addiction. Once I'm married it would be ok.

I feel like my girlfriend is pressuring me into having sex, and now that I've drawn my boundaries she is using guilt to get to me.

What should I do? We really love each other and had such a good time with each other until this all happened.

Dude I went through the same exact thing last summer. You'll probably see a post about me being a homosexual Christian, but I am also attracted towards women (but have struggled with perversion my whole life). I was unequally yoked with my ex-girlfriend and she said that because we weren't having sex or sexual relations that she doesn't know I love her. I started to compromise and would make out and that eventually lead to more,. It's a dangerous road.

If you are unequally yoked I would definitely get out of that relationship. Put the knife in Isaac man, God will provide a godly woman for you (whether that be her down the line or someone else). If you are equally yoked as in, she is a Christ following Christian, I would start going to pre-marital counseling at church. I hope this helps man, God bless

 

[Agentle]

Open communication is a must between you. For some women having sex is the only way they know, to be really loved. Find other ways to show your love toward her. Also depending on her upbringing the experiences she has had in her early years, can have an impact on the way she is now. Talk about it all.
Cheers