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Do feelings for someone ever actually go away?

Discussion in 'Singles (only*)' started by Gilbert 61, May 24, 2011.

  1. Thunder Peel

    Thunder Peel Let's get this party ended

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    You bring up a great point and one that I've often thought about myself. I think part of what makes the pain even worse is when you don't have answers. Heartbreak is tough but not knowing WHY is the real killer. Not knowing if it was something you did, or if God chose to break it apart, or if the other person wasn't honest, or any number of things.

    That's what leaves scars. Wounds heal but the question marks that so many of us wear is what slowly eats away.
     
  2. Sophrosyne

    Sophrosyne Let Your Light Shine.. Matt 5:16

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    It is like having an ugly black spot on a wall and you buy some paint to cover it but the paint is diluted and as you put a few coats on it looks cloudy and even worse and as each coat dries in time you can apply another one, then another and another and one day it gets to where someone has to look hard in the right light to notice it... then a few coats later only you can see where the spot is but you have to concentrate hard to notice. Then down the line you will know there is a spot behind the paint but if you don't think about it, then there is nothing obvious to remind you of it. You have to imagine it for it to now be a spot.
     
  3. GeoffryMcDonald

    GeoffryMcDonald Jesus Saves

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    Yes indeed, that AND you also get eaten away when there is infidelity in the relationship. It is a horrible thing, it never ceases to leave you wondering if there is something wrong with you that causes your partner to decide to choose someone else, without saying goodbye to you.
     
  4. MacFall

    MacFall Agorist

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    I'm completely over every woman I've ever loved. Maybe I'm just unusually fortunate.
     
  5. marshallII

    marshallII Senior Veteran

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    For me? Yes. Luckily. I am moved on.
     
  6. Gilbert 61

    Gilbert 61 Newbie

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    Lucky. Lol
     
  7. Miles

    Miles forever endeavour

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    Feelings can change. In a sense, they go away when that happens.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2011
  8. traingosorry

    traingosorry I'm what Willis was talkin' bout.

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    I agree with Miles. I think in some regard you will always be fond of that person (unless it was really ugly) but that doesn't equate to wanting that person again. Feelings change over time.
     
  9. Obzocky

    Obzocky Senior Contributor

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    Semi-blind post.

    > do feelings for someone ever actually go away or do we just replace them with someone else
    Feelings can change, how they change determines whether we consider them "gone" or "replaced". However, and this is something I feel quite strongly about, feelings can only change and grow/dwindle/evolve if we allow them to. If we hold onto them how can they change? Or perhaps a better way of putting it would be how can they change positively if we refuse to let them?

    This makes little sense, i'll move on.


    > "I didn't know that guys hurt like they do until I had sons of my own." what is your guys take on that?
    I'm always shocked by things like this. A human is a human, they have feelings and they express them, they feel and they hurt. That's all I can say really in reference to this.
     
  10. Nilla

    Nilla No longer on staff

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    Agree with this.
     
  11. Im_A

    Im_A Legend

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    I think moving on is where the replacing happens. I think it happens in the way of just cause and affect. IOW, breakup happens, both go their separate ways, one or both get over that person, find someone new, falls in love. Cause and affect of the breakup. Can't avoid it being replaceable. If one doesn't want to be replaceable then make sure you do each other right, and are in genuine love because the probability is not that high to be replaceable as compared to being flighty with one another and doing each other wrong. Can't replace memories but if we weren't so replaceable then we wouldn't be able to find something good after a serious relationship ends.

    In regards to the feelings, it depends on what types of feelings you are talking about.

    I'll use my own self as an example. When I think about my exes, 'feelings' do come. They were a part of my life for a time. I hope they have a great life. I remember the problems, and some of them, the memories get me frustrated when I remember because I don't like that I have went through some of the things I have went through women and I don't like how I burned some women. I hope they have found a good man for them, maybe pop out some kids if they want and they live a productive life. I also remember the good times, and they make me feel good to know I have experienced some face of love. I had some good times with some good women and I have never had a crazy woman so I have good memories.

    I do not have romantic feelings, or feelings of 'love' for any of my exes though. I would never get back with any of them. I wouldn't have a one night stand, or even a make out session. I don't even have feelings of 'close friendship'. The ones that have talked about being friends, they know to use me for a last resort to come to to talk or to not come to me at all. I figure my strong desire for them to be happy, and be productive, if they need to have thoughts from me to help them out, that is good enough. I don't pretend that I can have worthwhile friendships after romance has taken place(whether deeply or not so deep) and after major let downs and hurt come along and tear people apart from each other. Maybe others can do it, and hey if you can...then you can, but I can't and honestly? Don't really want to.

    Just shows how much females do not have a clue about us males when too many times, it is mostly talked from the flipped side. It may not be their fault, or the male's fault. More times than not, I do not believe it is the fault of females. It is the male's responsibility to be understood and the female's responsibility to be workable with trying to understand, just as it is the female's responsibility to be understood and the man's responsibility to be workable with trying to understand and if one can't do it, then don't cry about not being understood. We are different from one another.

    Then sometimes, some females are willingly blind to understanding a man and only care about themselves and sometimes men are the same way as well.
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2011
    peacechild4 likes this.
  12. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

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    just realized I never responded to this one. I'm actually not sure why you're asking about this, or what you're trying to get at. Do you think most women don't understand that men have actual feelings and can feel hurt in regards to relationships ending? Most of the guys I know have very tender hearts, even if they try to hide it through bravado. But I know when they hurt, they really hurt. Its just silly to think they can't feel pain as powerfully as a woman can. It just generally gets expressed differently to the outside world.
     
  13. peacechild4

    peacechild4 My ♥ is hidden in GOD~ want to find me ~ find GOD

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    Oh my I had to read this.. I am going through a divorce right now.. to 18 years of marriage.. and even though I know in my head it is over.. I love him.. It feels so strong it will never go away.. did others have to do something to help them let go?
     
  14. Touma

    Touma In on the cover up

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    No they don't. But they can weaken, which is weird at times. But hey, life does go on, and you develop feelings for other people, and hopefully those will be stronger than the previous.
     
  15. Touma

    Touma In on the cover up

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    For me, lots of prayer and fasting. You allow yourself to not listen to yourself for awhile, depending solely on God's voice to strengthen you. That helped sooo much in my instance. Friends and family helped too. Keeping busy with doing things that make you happy. And when yoou need to, cry. Don't keep it in, but don't over do it.
     
  16. Gilbert 61

    Gilbert 61 Newbie

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    I'm not getting at anything. It was just intriguing, that's all. I had my own thoughts and wanted to others thoughts as well.
     
  17. Blank123

    Blank123 Legend

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    ah gotcha. just seemed kind of like a random quote when talking about all this breakup stuff, so i wondered.
     
  18. Lord Herdsetk

    Lord Herdsetk What were they thinking?

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    You may never completely get over someone, but you can move on. I've only truly liked one girl in my life, and she's married now. It can be easy to slip into "what if I did this" thoughts, but its not going to change where we're both at now. I wish her well, and I hope I can find someone that I honestly fall for again.

    As for the second part of your original question, I guess she was saying that she didn't know how much some guys hide their emotions until her sons started spilling out their feelings to her.
     
  19. Gilbert 61

    Gilbert 61 Newbie

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    Understandable, I just didn't want to make two threads. Lol
     
  20. Im_A

    Im_A Legend

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    Apply your signature and try your best to deal with it as best as you can. :) If you fail, you just get up. If you succeed then celebrate your success.

    :)