Dark Night of the Soul.

[zachariahjosephturner]

I mean I could just cry right now it gets so bad even when I drive it's like my mouth wants to blaspheme the spirit and I don't understand I'm to the point now to where I'm numb as if I were to speak something it wouldn't bother me but yet I don't want to speak something I'm just in a whirlwind of confusion I just want to cry right now I want my life back in Jesus name I'm tired of living this way I know the Bible even went to Bible school I love the Lord but I've been in the oppressive battle that has just overwhelmed me to the point of almost giving up but yet I refuse to give up

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Like I said thank you for all your prayers I just kind of came on here to see if I'm just the only one that deals with these perverse ungodly Blasphemous thoughts and even feelings of hate towards God and the Holy Ghost that come over me those aren't my feelings but yet it leaves me scared and depressed and empty and um just wondering if anybody is truly ever been through this and made it out I love Jesus I'm so thankful that God demonstrated his love towards me and that while I was yet a sinner he sent his son to die on the cross for me amen

 

[brinny]

And one more classic by FC Barnes...

Precious.

Amen, the rough side of the mountain....don't i know it....

 

[brinny]

Like I said thank you for all your prayers I just kind of came on here to see if I'm just the only one that deals with these perverse ungodly Blasphemous thoughts and even feelings of hate towards God and the Holy Ghost that come over me those aren't my feelings but yet it leaves me scared and depressed and empty and um just wondering if anybody is truly ever been through this and made it out I love Jesus I'm so thankful that God demonstrated his love towards me and that while I was yet a sinner he sent his son to die on the cross for me amen

Bring EVERY thought to God, each-and-every-time. He will take it from there. This disorder is beating you up BIG TIME. Anxiety worsens it. Focus on bringing it ALL to God. HE KNOWS what you are battling. God LOVES you. What you bring to Him neither shocks nor floors Him. He is my Creator and yours, brother. He CREATED you. He IS our HEALER and the LIFTER OF OUR HEAD. Taking it ALL to our heavenly Father and asking Him for pardon, mercy and grace is what we do. He does the rest. Praying, brother in Christ and much beloved son of the Most High God. Father intervene as only YOU can and remove all that is assailing our brother and be his HEALER and the Lifter of his head, in Jesus name, amen.

 

[frettr00]

I experienced the dark night of the soul in 2014. I suffered from months of psychosis, lost my job, totaled my car, and was in and out of the hospital for my new mental illness. During this time I heard a hurricane of voices in my head, suffered from delusions, and thought I was demon posessed. Throughout this difficult period my only hope was to draw close to God in prayer and faith. I eventually did get through it, thank God.

 

[brinny]

I experienced the dark night of the soul in 2014. I suffered from months of psychosis, lost my job, totaled my car, and was in and out of the hospital for my new mental illness. During this time I heard a hurricane of voices in my head, suffered from delusions, and thought I was demon posessed. Throughout this difficult period my only hope was to draw close to God in prayer and faith. I eventually did get through it, thank God.

Bless yer heart, God must've had quite a grip on you through it all. 'Tis good to meet you and see you posting here. Thank you for sharing your testimony of surviving it all. God bless you (((hug)))

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

When we lose our faith for a brief period and God makes no sense to us at all. I've heard it said, that this is a good sign. A sign of our growth in faith, even though it feels like going backwards.

 

[Joni Berry]

Dark night of the soul.

Anybody ever been there?

Yes, I have been there. I find myself crying out to God. And then I get quiet and start reading the book of Job. The book of Job has gotten me through it and I realize that God was there all of the time. It was me who had wandered away. I have a prayer closet where I go and sit to pray and read His word. Once I shut the outside out, I can better focus on God and my love for Him. You will come through this!

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I experienced the dark night of the soul in 2014. I suffered from months of psychosis, lost my job, totaled my car, and was in and out of the hospital for my new mental illness. During this time I heard a hurricane of voices in my head, suffered from delusions, and thought I was demon posessed. Throughout this difficult period my only hope was to draw close to God in prayer and faith. I eventually did get through it, thank God.

You couldn't have had much more go wrong. God bless you for surviving that.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Amen brother nothing is just pushing towards God no matter how hard it gets seems when I even think about praying or even think about thinking about thinking about God or the Holy Spirit my mind starts cursing and I get these feelings of hatred towards God that really bring me down but it's standing up and saying though he slay me yet will I trust in him it's fighting through that all that when you come to the end your faith has grown and you can truly help others

 

[brinny]

Yes, I have been there. I find myself crying out to God. And then I get quiet and start reading the book of Job. The book of Job has gotten me through it and I realize that God was there all of the time. It was me who had wandered away. I have a prayer closet where I go and sit to pray and read His word. Once I shut the outside out, I can better focus on God and my love for Him. You will come through this!

Awwwwww....i can sooooo relate.....i've gotten riveted to the book of Job too....only thing is, i was soooooo hurting for Job, it was kinda' hard to read it....

That's precious about the prayer closet......

 

[brinny]

You couldn't have had much more go wrong. God bless you for surviving that.

i agree.....what a precious survivor testimony.

 

[brinny]

Amen brother nothing is just pushing towards God no matter how hard it gets seems when I even think about praying or even think about thinking about thinking about God or the Holy Spirit my mind starts cursing and I get these feelings of hatred towards God that really bring me down but it's standing up and saying though he slay me yet will I trust in him it's fighting through that all that when you come to the end your faith has grown and you can truly help others

God is GOOD. It's like your testimony reflects God's care for you, even as the storms rage, so to speak. And you hold on real tight through it all....it's like there's a part of you deep inside that KNOWS He's GOT you. THAT is what He hears. That part of you cries out to Him and He HEARS you.

How precious is THAT??!!!!

And look how you're encouraging your brothers and sisters! God is USING you to be a blessing to others.

As it is written, He works out ALL things for the good for those who love Him.

And He IS!!!!!!

 

[frettr00]

Amen brother nothing is just pushing towards God no matter how hard it gets seems when I even think about praying or even think about thinking about thinking about God or the Holy Spirit my mind starts cursing and I get these feelings of hatred towards God that really bring me down but it's standing up and saying though he slay me yet will I trust in him it's fighting through that all that when you come to the end your faith has grown and you can truly help others

It's possible those thoughts are demonic in origin. Did you ever dabble in the occult in the past?

Yes, I have been there. I find myself crying out to God. And then I get quiet and start reading the book of Job. The book of Job has gotten me through it and I realize that God was there all of the time. It was me who had wandered away. I have a prayer closet where I go and sit to pray and read His word. Once I shut the outside out, I can better focus on God and my love for Him. You will come through this!

Interesting! During my experience I told myself I was going through a trial like Job went through as well. God uses that story in the Bible to continue to help people through trials even today.

 

[W2L]

Hey thanks for the prayers I just developed severe anxiety and numbness when I first got saved I dealt with the whole unpardonable sin scared it went away is trying to come back here and there I believe if the devil knows he can get you with one thing he'll keep trying that one thing but like I said in early October 2013 it came in such a way that I don't know I can't look at the regrets of how I should have thought more or should have prayed more but I've handled it the wrong way and I kind of actually like I said grown cold towards God but I don't want to be that way I love God I feel like I'm just done it's like I don't even desire God but yet I want him I don't know if you get what I'm saying

People go through dry spells. I once worried about the unpardonable sin too, and many people do, I've seen it numerous times. My suffering has brought me closer to God, and even though I occasionally feel distant, it doesn't last long like it use to. We grow through hardship, and so we don't need to despair, all things work good, even hardship and suffering

 

[W2L]

It's possible those thoughts are demonic in origin. Did you ever dabble in the occult in the past?


.

Gods grace is more powerful than the enemy. Paul had a messenger of satan come against him, he called it a thorn in his side. Paul pleaded with God to take it away, but God told him that his grace was sufficient for him.

Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

I do believe too I fell in a horrible state of unbelief and doubt such as the children of Israel trying to hold on to my faith it was hard I've never dabbled in the occult or any such nature I think the thoughts just came to such force and I obsessed over them to such a degree that it just rulled my whole life instead of going to the word I started these crazy compulsions it was crazy but I know God can deliver me no matter what I falling into he can pull me out at all like I said I truly got saved Satan has just always use the unpardonable sin scared to try to scare me I believe it's to make me and ineffective Christian and make me feel unworthy as if I have committed the unpardonable sin like I said this time around the thoughts of just gotten so bad they become like a habit if I even think on the Holy Ghost immediately it's like an urge to cut the Holy Ghost but I know it's not me I would never do that I think like I said I access to such a degree or two and a half years till finally it's just consumed like I said I truly got saved Satan has just always use the unpardonable sin scared to try to scare me I believe it's to make me an ineffective Christian and make me feel unworthy as if I have committed the unpardonable sin like I said this time around the thoughts of just gotten so bad they become like a habit if I even think on the Holy Ghost immediately it's like an urge to cuss the Holy Ghost but I know it's not me I would never do that I think like I said I obsessed to such a degree or two and a half years till finally it's just consumed me and I feel like just laying before Jesus and not getting up till he delivers me

 

[mikpat]

Becareful about a desolation in prayer that seems to be due to physical illness. Receiving no help from either side, one feels crucified, abandoned between heaven and earth. Yet this can be a delightful martyrdom ——this painful prayer is a greater benefit than all other favors one has been granted by God.
Kept Mother Teresa going…

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Like I was really trying to say it's to the point where if I even think about think about reading the word or playing my mind is filled with such ungodly thoughts as to defy description it's gotten so bad that everything I see related to Jesus if it be a call or something of such nature my mind will immediately put the f word against it has anybody ever been there to wear you down not even try pray or read because it seems the thoughts just get worse and when you even try to open your mouth it's as if demons are forcing Blasphemous phrases and thoughts against the holy ghost out of your mouth you're very careful when you play or even speak about Godly things or the holy spirit for fear that you may bless me and if you do speak about the spirit this crazy feeling comes over you of blasphemy it's just horrible I know to push through and fight it's just so crazy how about maybe somehow believed the lies of the enemy for so long or fault his trick it seems if I even think about God thoughts come in my head of who gives a you-know-what well I'm done with all that junk and then I'm not sure what Jesus it's like my mind in my flesh are against Jesus but the real me what's Jesus but I'm so buried underneath all this blasphemy it's just crazy I know the Bible I know the scriptures I just think all you people for helping me I'm kind of like at wits end I love Jesus I'm just buried underneath this crazy demonic oppression that is just rolled my life so I've become desensitized to the fault they're still there 24/7 they've been there so long it's as if I could speak them and not worry about it so in my heart it's not full of blasphemy my mind is gone it's like a mental illness I can't wait to be delivered so I can help others I've talked to some people who just don't understand they would say that I'm not really saved but brothers and sisters I did get truly say I want Jesus it's just becoming a hard task even to pray read or even think about reading or playing or thinking on Jesus

 

[zachariahjosephturner]

Sorry if my post may come out weird I'm using the microphone it's not the best in the world I tend not to proof read what I write