So, one of my big OCD issues right now (when I'm not freaking out about vows) is this idea that things can be "cursed".
So, just recently today, I had this issue: I was worried that I had said I would worship the evil one about something, this issue typically comes up day to day. (For example, let's say I want to do something with a friend, I will get thoughts about worshiping the evil one if I can hang out with a friend, etc.) So anyways, I was worried that anything I did before cancelling this would be "cursed", so I was just lying in bed thinking about how I was going to have to do a prayer to cancel this before I did anything. Well, being an OCDer I have prayed like a MILLION times to cancel something, and feeling like I have to do that really sucks. So this time, I seemed to say I really would "curse" whatever I was going to use, or somehow seemed to affirm this "curse" idea, I presume simply because I did not want to pray about it for the hundredth time.
So, after doing that, I'm pretty sure I prayed about all of that (a cancelling prayer) a few times, but was worried about some technicality of how I prayed, worrying that I didn't pray it right so it didn't count.
So anyways, I really wanted to get on the internet and visit a website I typically visit. While getting ready to do this, I was thinking about how if I did that, the website would then be "cursed" and I could not go on it anymore. Well, as I was putting in the password to get on my computer I had the thought that now my computer would be "cursed" since I was using it.
Now I'm really upset and worried that I have to destroy the computer, and even worried about the desk it sits on because of this. I'm worried that if I don't destroy the computer, a few things could happen:
Thanks for reading, I need help. On a side note, I have been seeing a Psychologist for therapy, so that's good.
So, just recently today, I had this issue: I was worried that I had said I would worship the evil one about something, this issue typically comes up day to day. (For example, let's say I want to do something with a friend, I will get thoughts about worshiping the evil one if I can hang out with a friend, etc.) So anyways, I was worried that anything I did before cancelling this would be "cursed", so I was just lying in bed thinking about how I was going to have to do a prayer to cancel this before I did anything. Well, being an OCDer I have prayed like a MILLION times to cancel something, and feeling like I have to do that really sucks. So this time, I seemed to say I really would "curse" whatever I was going to use, or somehow seemed to affirm this "curse" idea, I presume simply because I did not want to pray about it for the hundredth time.
So, after doing that, I'm pretty sure I prayed about all of that (a cancelling prayer) a few times, but was worried about some technicality of how I prayed, worrying that I didn't pray it right so it didn't count.
So anyways, I really wanted to get on the internet and visit a website I typically visit. While getting ready to do this, I was thinking about how if I did that, the website would then be "cursed" and I could not go on it anymore. Well, as I was putting in the password to get on my computer I had the thought that now my computer would be "cursed" since I was using it.
Now I'm really upset and worried that I have to destroy the computer, and even worried about the desk it sits on because of this. I'm worried that if I don't destroy the computer, a few things could happen:
- I am worried that I could be keeping a "cursed" item
- I am worried that I may have made some deal with the evil one or something and by keeping it I am keeping the deal
- Basically worried that by not getting rid of it that I'm choosing the computer over God
- I am worried that somehow keeping it/using it is now a sin or something bad. Or that by using it, I am going along with the evil one.
Thanks for reading, I need help. On a side note, I have been seeing a Psychologist for therapy, so that's good.
