Consumed by hatred

[babblers25]

Hey everyone... This is kind of a testimony type of cry for help, because I need help, I guess.

Anyway.. It all started when I got into occult. I was in the learning steps. I never really got anything done. I practised things like telekinesis etc. But that's when God saved me.. I had a great time back then. It was probably 5-6 months ago now. I was quite fullfilled with the spirit of God and I was happily working to make myself more like Jesus! (Well God did all the work but I HAPPILY co-operated.)

I thought it was fun to resist today's temptations, like lust, which is very common to me.. i'm quite trapped into lust and self gratifying..

Anyway. Weeks passed and I worked on my relationship with God. I didn't really have any christian friends and I didn't really like going to church. I don't know. I think I had some troubles to confess who I was now.. I wanted to suffer for the cross. Deep inside my heart that was a strong desire. I also read that there is no bigger calling than "Come and suffer!"

Anyway. Eventually I told my parents of course. Now my whole family knows... I also told to one of my non christian friends but the "school" still doesn't know..

But anyway. SO yeah. Mostly on my time with God I tried to battle off lust and gratifying the flesh, but I didn't accomplish. I tried many times, and always eventually fell.

But anyway. Weeks and months passed. I had some good times with God, feeling really close to Him and wanting to talk to him. I also always wished that I could talk to him like two-way conversation.. But I never got that to work..

But yeah then. Last christmast I went through some major depression. I kind of swayed back from God and then got depressed about it. But I came back to God and was happy for a while. I started to work my way again to minimizing sinning and trying to be close to God although I'm quite sure I was not doing enough..

I tried the SettingCaptivesFree course, too. Before I started that course I had just fallen yet again into this sin of lust and gratifying the flesh. I was quite hopeless at the time.

But on the day two I got more hope and got really motivated and thought that I could really get rid of this now.

But yeah. Then all hell broke loose in my life. I fell again and it sure struck me down when I had 100% faith that I could get rid of it now. I got so demotivated and dissapointed on myself that I beat myself down with words and sentences. I started hating my self. Deep hate towards myself.

I started telling myself that I can't get rid of it. I told myself how pathetic I am and how God looks down on me. How he looks down on me because after all this battling I still haven't won.

I started hating myself daily, always the same pathetic sentences to attack myself. At times I thought that am I just faking this up for something, but then I beat myself down for that too.

Eventually this hatred grew ever stronger. I started hating God and I still today feel deep hatred towards Him. I feel more love towards Satan personally than I do for God.

I keep thinking that I will go to hell, but I don't even flinch at that. I don't care. I keep thinking that even hell is better place than this earth. I keep thinking that I'd rather go to hell than heaven. Heaven doesn't interest me. Neither does love, friendship, God or anything of those comfortable feelings. All I care about now is hating everything.

I'm not suicidal yet but I don't really care if God decides to end my pathetic life. I don't see a future for me. I have no clue what I'm going to do in the future.

Also, when a chance comes that I could have some strength to pull myself out of this and go to God. If I waste that chance the hate grows just stronger. I feel that God hates me no matter what the bible says.

And I know God's word. I know about his love, but I don't see it. I don't care about my life spiritually and neither do I physically care..

So yeah. I can't get myself up from this. I have no intention towards it. I don't see why I should go back to God. I hate love! but I decided to try anyway if someone could help me.

The thing just is that I used to be happy follower of christ. I might have taken baby steps on it but I still felt really close to God. And now when you just turn up to be like this it makes you really think that what's happened.

And no. Don't even suggest "medicine, phsyciatry" or anything like that. I don't believe in medicine and phsyciatrist or whatever just aint gonna happen and they wouldn't understand anyway.

Also.. This world's people. I see them as clowns and fools. Their activities are stupid and nonsense.

But yeah. As i said I am not suicidal but i don't really see why I woudn't kill myself. Deep down there is a massive rage inside me which just keeps getting stronger and wont go off.

but yeah.. I dont know what to do. I'm sure part of me wants to go back to God but im just clueless how thats going to happen. How am I going to rid all this hatred and all of this. Its just not gonna happen.

Oh and I also feel called towards the occult again. Demons and posessions also interest me a lot more than some angels. (just comparasion. because it shoud be the other way around)

I also keep wishing to become posessed by demons. Like what a stupid wish is that?

Oh, and you can call me anything you want. I don't care. I know I'm pathetic and everything. I'm lost, misguided, hopeless. And I do not think that God wants to help His enemies.

 

[Servant_Of_The_Lord_Jesus]

Well brother except for the occult i know how you feel, When were baby christians God does alot for us, He protects us and lifts us up and were full of fire and zeal and wanna become martyers for him, And the thing about lust been there done that Got the t-shirt. If you pm me your adress i gotta a book i wanna send you called everyyoung mans battle, but man liveing a christian life is hard, jesus said it was hard, because of satan, everything you hate about God right now is exactly how Satan feels about you, Satan doesn't care about you all Satan wants to do is hurt God because He knows how much love God has for you, And when you try to stand up for God and try to get close to him yes thats when the trials will come because Satan Fears that more then anything, he fears you becomeing close to God, because hes afraid of all the things God has for you to do, and i'ma shoot straight with you, the lust issue is just something your gonna have to make up in your mind to stop, not say well i'm gonna try to day only if God helps me, God is always there and hes always helping but if were not willing to tough it out its never gonna go away, Satan has strongholds in your life and lust and depress seem to be 2 of them, we all battle with things man, don't think your alone because you arn't, and your not his enemy, If God didn't care for you he wouldn't have died for you, Any Goodness you feel is God, and i don't mean happyness from wicked things True Hell is being away from God, Why do you think Jesus cryed out in such terror when God turned his face from him when all the sin of the world came on our lord . You just gotta trust God over everything, I don't know how you are liveing your life as a christian. You have to Give God everything to be close to him stop doing things he hates, were not perfect you can't make a gaint Boat make a super fast turn it takes time to change its course, but you gotta stay away from demonic stuff, you gotta stay away from anything that might cause you to fall in lust or in your faith even little commercials on tv with hot girls. The bible my brother isn't just some book of laws. It is the Sword of the spirit, you need to know the bible to battle satan, its not God puting that your worthless and pathetic in your mind its satan and you listening to him, you can't hear God because you have to much other stuff in your way, Remeber the bible says Satan is the prince of this World, Satan hates us, You gotta give your anger to God, Hes your father tell him how you feel because he loves you no matter what, You have a choice to go to hell, God Risked all to give us free will, even with his angels, and as you can see 1 third of them fell. If God didn't give a rip about you he wouldn't have died for you, and if you didn't care about God you wouldn't be on here. He loves you bro, you just gotta take the Good with the Bad, and know in the Bad That Hes loves you and that he will never leave nor forsaken you, The bible Says BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. And he also says do not worry but cast your fears and burdens on him because his yoke is easy and burden is light. And the Word Says that Faith comes by reading the word of God, Hes loves you so much and i know you know how much he loves you, Stay close to him and never give up!

 

[ayeess]

o man... This seems like an attack from the enemy and that's kind of apparent because you have the thought of wanting to be possessed by a demon adn you do not even wish for that. Seems like spiritual war fare and the devil and demons are sending those thoughts into you.
and I guess I just don't understand why you feel so much hate.. I'm not saying anything about you as a person because your feelings should not define who you are as a person. There just things you experience and need to deal with. I guess the only thing I can say is READ THE WORD and when the devil or demons try to tell you things that are contrary to the WORD... you can tell them the truth right out the bible and say this out loud...DEVIL you are a liar and it says THIS and THIS in the bible. Even when the demons are tempting Jesus for 40 days HE himself does not use his own words HE uses words straight form the bible, he uses the WORD of GOD because the word of GOD is THAT important and useful.
Matthew 4
3The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." 4Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'

Jesus answered him, "It is also written: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.

0Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.


HE references the word of god over and over again And it seems as though you need to get REACQUAINTED with the word. AND HAVE the word in you and in your heart so that when these stray thoughts come into your mind you can vanquish them by referencing the WORD


Im glad you arent thinking about going through with suicide because YOUR LIFE IS SO IMPORTANT to GOD. Read psalm 139:13

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

GOd did that! Your life has a purpose. ANd whatever obstacles the devil puts in your way for eveil god will use them FOR GOOD and to glorify him. Your life has so much purpose. LIke it says in ROmans 8:29, He foreknew YOU , he predestined you to conform to the likeness of his son. Jesus was meant to be the first among many brothers. So i cannot give you any steps to take like one would give in a 8 step program or something but I can just say Regardless of YOUR feelings. GOD DOES LOVE YOU. ANd remember its not your love for GOD but HIS LOVE for you that saves you. You need to surround yourself by his people and continue in his word. Cuz you have a personal mission in life that you need to complete. GOd bless.

 

[drich0150]

I didn't really have any christian friends and I didn't really like going to church. I don't know. I think I had some troubles to confess who I was now.. I wanted to suffer for the cross. Deep inside my heart that was a strong desire. I also read that there is no bigger calling than "Come and suffer!"

Your examples of "All hell breaking loose." Is an answered prayer, this is what suffering for Jesus looks like in your life.

"True suffering" isn't something we can always prepare for nor is it always something physical. In your situation your having to suffer, by having to face yourself with your understanding of how God works.. Your "demons" come from with in, not an outside persecution, at least not yet. You are correct there isn't a bigger calling than "come suffer" because it is through this pain are we baptized in a sense.. Pain can be a way to learn how to die to self, and consequently if you in a relationship with God, be reborn as a new creation..

Just know "New creations" are rarely complete. Paul being the person the Holy Spirit choose to coin that term struggled with sin as well. The book of Romans over all deals with how a true follower of Christ should look at his life short comings and how that all relates to the law..

In romans 7: 1Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
4So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God. 5For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. 6But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.



7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.



In the blue Paul speaks through the example of marriage stating that according to the "law," if a woman marries while her husband is alive, she is an adulteress, but if her husband dies she is no longer bound by that law.. In a sense Jesus's Death frees us like the married woman from the Law.. So in turn we are no longer bound to up holding the law to obtain righteousness.

In the green Paul states the point and purpose of the law in a free Christians life.. Not something to live under and follow to try and justify to a Perfect God that you are worthy or righteous, but rather to point out or to Identify "sin" in absolutely every single aspect of your life. in a sense to break you of the Idea that you can live a justifiably "good" life, or that you are basically a good person.. The law is there for you to Identify sin in everything you do pushing you to the conclusion that you NEED Jesus, in order to be a righteous person.

In the pink Paul is saying the He knows that the Law is Holy, but even he can never be holy by observing of the law.

In the purple Paul admits the even he is not able to resist sin.. Because even though he is "a new creation" and he loves the law and the Lord dearly, he is still bound in this body, and until he can be separated from this body he is a slave to it.. That means he must feed it, clean it, cloth it, mend it when it is broken, and care for it when it is sick.. It also means he/we are a slave to it's carnal sinful desires.. That even though in our heart of Hearts we love God and want to be in his will, because we are still bound to this body we will fall into sin..

This is what I feel is the source of your rage.. your desire to live out the sin free life, coupled with your inability to do so, and the anger that you have for this short coming is directed at yourself and at God. Once you can understand that Godly righteousness is not obtainable through your works or adherence to the law, and that in fact, it is your Love for God and the faith you have as a result of that love that brings sanctification, you will find peace..

If your up for some reading I'd pray for understanding and read Romans, because there is alot more in that book that can help find what you are looking for.

 

[YoungPilgrim]

Hey, Babblers.

It looks like people have already written a bunch to try to help you out, and I hope it helps you.

I just want to tell you a few things. One, I've met so many people who have gone through what you are going through right now. I've heard them say the same things as you: they hate God, they don't want to go to heaven, they'd rather go to hell. I've seen this, and I've talked to these people, and I've seen them come out of this as stronger, happier people and as Christians with renewed and deeper faith.

So what's the answer? Well, first let me tell you what I think is going on. I think that you think that God hates you (probably because you said that). And yeah, I'm sure you already know that the Bible says that God doesn't hate you, and that Jesus died to save his enemies. And yeah, that's all in there, but just seeing that in the Bible might not help you out that much.

So instead of shoving a ton of scripture down your throat, I'll try to explain some of this stuff in a different way, and I hope that it will help you out. I've gone through all that lust stuff before (for about 6 years I struggled with it terribly, and btw, settingcaptivesfree and every man's battle didn't help me at all). Do you want to know what finally freed me from all that crap? It was knowing this:

God's love for me is constant and unchanging. Even when I'm in the midst of my deepest and most terrible sins, even then, God still loves me as much as He always has, and He loves me as much as He loves Jesus. God sees me as His son who has done everything right, and He calls me beautiful in His sight. This is all because God has clothed me with Christ's righteousness like a robe, and He has done this through the faith which He has given me.

Okay, now if you think about that, it sounds blasphemous, right? I know, it's really terrible to think about. But nothing else will ever set you free from your sin. For a long time I railed against God and against myself because I couldn't see how God could love me when I'm such a terrible person, but I prayed for God to rid me of the pride that was holding me back from accepting His love.

See, it's actually pride that's the problem. It's so demeaning to have to accept God's love when we're so terrible and worthless. But I really believe that it's the worst insult to God to refuse His love, because you're basically saying, "Look, God, I know that you died to save me, and you loved me even when I was dead in sin, but I haven't done anything to earn your love, so you can keep it. And Jesus, it's great and all that you suffered God's wrath and died on the cross for me, but you know what? I just don't really want your love if it makes me look this bad."

And that's the truth. You have to see God's unconditional love for you before you can have any kind of life worth living. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. It's probably the hardest thing in the world to believe that God loves you. I still battle with it every day. Really, the only way you can believe it is if God gives you the faith to believe it. So what can you do? Pray that God will give you faith and fight with everything you've got to believe in His love for you.

It's a fight, but it's worth fighting for. This is a fight for meaning in your life, a fight for everything good, and worthy, and beautiful. It's a fight to be the person you were created to be, and to live the life you want to live in the deepest part of your heart, and for the hope that vanished in your childhood that you now think could never be possible. I know because I've been where you are, and now I know of the boundless riches and glory of God. Fight for this, because really, what have you got to lose? (except your pride...)

 

[babblers25]

Thank you guys for the help.

I think all this info helps a lot. It seems like all I've been doing with God is trying to get rid of my sins. I mean. It's true that I have always wanted to stay clean from sin but of course you really cant.

I also understood back then that no-one can really live a sinless life except Jesus of course. I understood that and I did my best to just minimize it.

A while ago, before all this hatred and rage started I started to slowly believe that I had to live in obedience in order to for example, get God's acceptance or get His blessings. All I wanted from Him was that acceptance and that I could kind of be with Him without anything holding my back. I wanted to be obedient because suddenly it felt that that was all there is to living a life with God. And the most important desire for me was to hear His voice, and I believed that my sinning always messed that up. I believed that I could never get close enough to Him because of my sins.

Once I broke the obedience I started to get all unworthy feelings. Because my belief started to round up towards this "being obedient". I guess it formed a chain of events which eventually led here.

But am I misguided on this? I don't know. I tried to resolve this unworthy feeling by reading scriptures about it and I KNEW that no-one can be worthy of God. But through Jesus our image can be renewed and we can reflect the glory of God in ourselves. ( OR Something like that! ) We can appear to God worthy enough, or something..

But anyway. The information didn't help. I just couldn't get rid of the belief that I had. So after trying the settingcaptivesfree course and failed that one, I broke the obedience that I was trying to gather.. And that was the point when I started denying God's love and everything just as mentioned in the above posts.

I really thought many times that "I don't deserve your love!" and all things like this.

But I'd like to hear right now if I'm wrong in this obedience thingy, which I believe truly that I am.

But thanks a lot for the information. I guess I feel a sense of hope now. But yeah, thanks!

EDIT: I also started to live by sight more than faith. I had the scripture ringing in my head all the time. "We live by faith, not by sight!" (Well I don't remember the exact scripture but I've seen and read this so many times...)

But I didn't really fix this. I started to "expect" miracles and stuff. Stupid things. This whole thing got so out of control and I only realize it now. At the moment, FOR REAL, I never thought this to happen. I didn't think that I'm gonna turn insane or anything, but I guess getting mislead on so many things has it's consequences.

Anyway. I feel like I actually might get better already. I've been in this hatred and rage for about two weeks at least, but maybe now I could get out.

But feel free to post any advice or things. I would definetly appreciate it.

 

[YoungPilgrim]

Babblers,

I'm really glad that you feel like you're getting better! That's great news!

Okay, so about your question.

I KNEW that no-one can be worthy of God. But through Jesus our image can be renewed and we can reflect the glory of God in ourselves. ( OR Something like that! ) We can appear to God worthy enough, or something..

Okay, so you're definitely right about one thing: No one can be worthy of God through his own actions (except for Jesus. He was perfect). Everyone else has sinned and everyone else deserves God's wrath based on their own actions.

You're also right that through Jesus our image can be renewed and we can reflect the glory of God in ourselves. I'll come back to this in a second.

You're mistaken about being able to appear worthy enough to God based on our actions, even though they might be empowered by faith in Christ. We will always be severely tainted with sin in this life and will not be made perfect until the resurrection. That doesn't mean we can't do anything good though (and this gets a little tricky). We will never have perfect motivations or perfect actions in this life, but our actions and even our consciences are cleansed in the blood of Christ and made to be holy in God's sight.

So that's all really confusing. Here's a way to think about it that I've found to be helpful. There's this Christian term called justification, and most people are pretty hazy on what it means. Some people explain it by saying that it's like God has a book that is a record of your life, and when He justifies you in Christ, your book is made empty. This is only half true. If this is all that happens in justification, then we're no better off being justified than we were beforehand, because we're going to keep screwing up even after we're saved, and the book is gonna be full of bad stuff again.

Here's what really happens in justification. It's like there are two books: yours and Jesus's. When God justifies you by faith in Christ, He takes the covers off of the two books and switches them. Jesus is credited for everything you did, and you are credited for everything Jesus did. It's not just that your sins are forgiven, it's also that you are credited with all of Christ's righteousness. God looks at you and says, "This is my son in whom I am well pleased" just as he said of Jesus. The other half of this is that Christ became your sin for you on the cross, and God poured out every bit of wrath that was meant for you onto Jesus. This is really painful for me to think about even as I'm writing this. It's no easy thing to accept.

For the reasons I've just said, this is why Paul writes in Romans 8:1, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." This is a verse to live by, and it's a verse I constantly have to tell myself. It's a daily struggle to believe that God loves me. It's my natural tendency to want to think that God hates me, especially because I'm such a sinful person. But praise the Lord, because He has reconciled us to Himself in Christ Jesus!

Okay, so I said I'd come back to how we are made into the image of Jesus. The way that we do this is by faith. Some might ask: faith in what? The answer: faith in God's word. This entails a whole lot, but I'll name the two main things: faith that Christ's sacrifice was enough to satisfy God and to earn His love for you, and faith that you are no longer a slave to sin, but you are freed from it's bondage (read Romans 6, it's awesome).

We as Christians are now dead to sin and alive in Christ. This basically means that at the very core of who we are now, we want to serve God and love Him. Before we were saved, at the very core of who we were, we hated God and wanted to disobey Him. We still sin, but we hate that we do it. Being free from sin doesn't mean that you don't have to fight it anymore, it means that you get to fight it! Before we were saved we didn't even want to fight against sin! Now we are free to fight against it. But you've gotta know that you'll never win against sin if you fight against it in your own strength. You have to fight against sin by trusting in God as your strength. This is one of my constant prayers to God: "Help me to fight against sin with all my might, but with You as my strength and my shield."

I've got tons more I'd love to tell you, but I think I've already written a whole lot. I really hope that this helps you out.

 

[YoungPilgrim]

Okay, I think I also need to add this:

Even though we will always keep sinning in this life, we can have a whole lot more victory over sin than you think.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. - Titus 2:11-12

Everything we do in this life is tainted with sin, but there's a lot that can be overcome in the strength that we have in God. Your problems with lust can be overcome, but not in your own strength, and not by your sitting around and waiting for God to do it. Fight against your own sins with all your might, pray to God openly and earnestly for help and change, read the scriptures to become better equipped for battle and to be changed into the likeness of Christ, seek joyful and sincere fellowship with other believers, find wise and Godly leaders who can help guide and mentor you -- there's so much that you can do! Do all this while relying on God's strength! And when you have victory over sin, do not say, "I did this in my own strength," but say, "God did this in His strength and in His mercy, through the means that He has chosen."

You are no longer a slave to sin. Fight against it with everything that God has given you.

 

[drich0150]

But I'd like to hear right now if I'm wrong in this obedience thingy, which I believe truly that I am.

Obedience is a small piece of a larger mechanism.. That is if you want God to actively function in your life. another part, a really big one is discernment. Some of us are given discernment as a gift, while others have to obtain it through study and meditation of scripture.. Because if you start becoming spiritually active, without any discernment then how will you ever know the difference between a revelation from God, and one from a deceiving spirit?? Entire other religions have been started from one man's desire to know God, but did not have the ability or apparently the desire to check his revelation against scripture.. So Open your word and get to know the scriptures, otherwise you are doomed to follow a path that is well lit and filled with strong positive "feelings" but with very little substance..

The most important piece of your quest comes in the form of a relationship. One that will take time and alot of patiences. In Luke 11 Jesus tells us how to start this relationship or to obtain a measure of the Holy Spirit.



5Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' 7"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. 9"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 11"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"



The Holy Spirit is the Person of God who directly interacts with us.. This whether you can identify him or not, as what you are looking for.. If, and when you are ready Ask, by praying, Seek by speaking to those who have found their measure of the Spirit, and look for him in scripture, and knock by continually repeating this process until you get what you want... Here is where obedience comes in.. In this parable Jesus tells us how to obtain the Holy Spirit, it is up to us to follow HIS instructions, and not that of tradition or religion...

 

[Autumnleaf]

We all feel impulses to do wrong, each to our own vices. The key is to give our will and lives over to God so we can be his and live in serenity.