Hi everyone,
I'm really discouraged and confused.
I've been exchanging about christian issues with a christian pastor and some of the things he said or which he brought up
really confused me.
We were talking about healing and wether God wants to heal and why christians don't get healed and he brought up the example
of the blind man about whom Jesus said that he was born blind so that God would be glorified through his healing.
How do we interpret this? Does this mean that God PURPOSEFULLY made a human being to be born blind ONLY so that later on He (Jesus)
could heal him and glorify God?
I'm sorry, but to me this sounds really perverted.
I can't deal with this. It's simply disturbing. Is this really what Jesus meant? I hope not, but at the same time I worry what if God really is like
that?
What if God is simply "different" and we simply cannot understand His heart? To me this is totally depressing.
Is it possible that God does things which I think are perverted and simply disturbing?
Another example which my friend brought up is Job. I know Job but I haven't really thought about him for a long time. It's not a story which
I enjoy. When he mentioned Job I automatically got all my questions back which I struggled with in the past, when thinking about the book of Job.
I simply can't make sense of it and interpret Job in a way which does not disturb me.
When I imagine that God more or let made a bet with satan about wether Job would stick to his faith or not and what was at stake was Job's relatives
who all lost their lives, then this is totally disturbing to me.
Would God really do this? Would God allow people to get killed ONLY to prove something and win a bet?!
I don't know, all of this is so dragging me down. I just don't know how God really is and I hate being torn between opinions of others and my own
thoughts.
But can you really feel close to God and really trust God when AT THE SAME TIME you struggle with such thoughts and worry that God could do
things which are disturbing to you?
This only scares me and makes me feel alienated from God.