Hi. I've never commented in this subforum before. Its my first post here.
Anyways, I am graduating high school and start college soon. I feel like there are certain courses I want to take but I cant actually bring myself to do it. Here's why.
Hooray for the class of 2015!!!!! I graduate from high school next month, too, and I am exhilarated one moment and wishing life came with reigns so I could slow things down and savor it all a bit more the next. I'm so surprised you're already choosing college courses in May. Are you taking summer sessions? Are you an American? I know in many other countries students leap directly into their field of study when they begin university, whereas in America most colleges have General Education Requirements of classes that all students take prior to declaring their major. The advantage of this is that it gives students more time to grow into themselves, to explore academic areas of interest, or take classes in subjects they're already familiar with at a higher level, and do more research about prospective career choices and how to become equipped for success in them. The president of Stanford University has joked that the most popular major for first-years is "I don't know," and the most popular major for sophomores is "I changed my mind."
My parents are helping me go through the papers to pick a course, but I feel too embrassed to admit I want to take certain things, and that embarrasment is discouraging me from choosing them or admitting in front of them that I want to do it. Its not like my course selection is happening independently from anybody else-they are going through the books with me and taking me to a counselor to discuss it.
I'm not annoyed at them or anything-I appreciate that theyve always helped me with many things, but I feel like being helped in this situation is interfering with my decisions.
It's wonderful your parents are so involved in your life, but as you cross the threshold into adulthood I think it's important that they shift roles to merely giving you guidance and advice rather than orders or instructions, and for you to make your own decisions about the direction you wish to go in. We have to take responsibility and ownership for our choices now. I will ask my parents for their perspectives when I choose my classes for the upcoming year, but will ultimately make the decision myself after carefully reading through the requirements and course descriptions and talking with my academic advisor. My brother is graduating from college next month, and has never sought permission from my parents for any of the classes he's taken. He's going to medical school for bioengineering so most of his classes have been in preparation for that, but he's also taken some electives just out of curiosity or for fun. He wasn't embarrassed to try things like an acting improvisation class, fencing, a design class, or introduction to photography. Having some lighter classes in his course load also allowed him to put more energy into the subjects relevant to his major.
Most colleges have detailed information on their website about their requirements, with a breakdown of general education, graduation, and major-specific requirements. I would start by reading through the general education requirements (assuming you're an American and going to a college that has them), and then reading the course descriptions for the classes. Decide on some that interest you. I've heard that it's better to take some easier classes your first term because the transition from high school to college is challenging enough, and you don't want to overwhelm yourself.
I feel as if my decisions are based on how others perceive me and how they'll react, rather than what I really want to do. I dont know if anyone here has ever experienced any similar situation. It's easier said than done, I know, but how do I get out of this mentality, and what should i do?
Never let the fear of how others will perceive you shackle your ambitions. You are the only person in this world who will ever lead your life. Others can influence you, inspire you, lead you, judge you, advise you, but no one else can ever be you. Self-consciousness can become a form of self-sabotage. And really, the amount of time others actually spend thinking about us is usually significantly less than the amount of time we spend worrying about what they'll think about us. Sure, there will always be people who form perceptions and judgements of others, but those who are successful tend to focus more on their own lives.
Think of Hebrews 12:1. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
Throw off the inhibitions and fears that are hindering and entangling you, and focus on your race.
Not even embarassment itself but more like nervousness from being persuaded not to make certain decisions. For example, I was talking for a few days about picking a computer science curriculum, but today in a family discussion my dad said it may be too hard for me and it may be better if i should just take general studies. now i feel even more confused about what i should or should not do.
I'd ask your academic advisor for feedback. He or she can review your high school transcript to understand your preparation and give you advice based on knowledge of those specific classes you're interested in. Still, though, you won't really know a course is too hard for you if you don't actually try it. You could take an easier computer science class or two, and see how you do. Most colleges have an Add / Drop period during the first few weeks of the term that will allow you to get a feel for the course and decide whether you wish to stick with it, or drop it and switch to something else. Most first-years do take more of the general education requirements, with a few courses in the field(s) they're potentially interested in majoring in.
