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Christmas: is it a happy time, sad time or stressful ?

Discussion in 'Golden Eagles 50+' started by pappastratos, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. pappastratos

    pappastratos Newbie

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    Christmas: is it a happy time, sad time or stressful ?
    Me ? used to be happy, but now it is sad & stressful. Memories of Christmas past actually make me sad because so much has changed in my family & my wife's family. Relatives passing away, others moving away. I want it to be a happy time, I try to make it happy, but it just does not turn out that way. How about the rest of you ?
     
    NorwayUnn likes this.
  2. angelwind

    angelwind Soli Deo Gloria Supporter

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    I have Christmas in my heart all year...don't mean to be smart about it, but there is an underlying joy about Jesus that sticks with me a lot...now family memories are sometimes sad...we have lost many folks and some relationships are presently broken. So I am thankful and try to enjoy what and who we have even more.

    My mother died at Christmas time...her memory used to be very painful then, but it has eased and I look forward to seeing her again.

    What I miss is the weather...the foggy wet weather we had in the San Joaquin Valley (central Ca), dry, sunny weather in So Ca is depressing to me.

    When my music begins to play Christmas songs I love it...my favorite site is here...HOME : Redeemer Broadcasting | Redeemer Broadcasting, Inc.
     
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  3. davedajobauk

    davedajobauk Legend _ dum spiro, spero Supporter

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    Yup! change 'happens'

    We can however 'choose' to wallow in the 'past' or, to get on with, 'today'

    How boring would life be.... if, every day, was full of yesterday's 'news'

    Thank God for every sunrise, and every minute that isn't 'marked-with'
    pain and suffering and _disappointment with ourselves

    I NEVER again, want-to see another anti-depressant pill, become necessary in my lfe

    God means us to be happy with His abundant blessings... and we CAN be!!!

    It is another something or, other, that, with evil-intent
    will 'bring us down' into darkness and perpetual shadows...IF WE LET IT ?

    Regrets... I have had a few [~many] but I have 'managed' to discard them all..... such
    that I no-longer have space in my life for them

    You cannot be happy with those things you have
    UNTIL, you put down, all those things you cannot have
    ie: those 'earthly possessions' you have lost and will NEVER have again

    Real Family...you can NEVER LOSE... not even, while parted

    Whinging and whining, about what we don't and can never have...
    doesn't make that sadness go away... Surrender DOES!!!

    And, since that night in the garden shed [Bristol]
    my 'days' have ever been brighter, more-relaxed/ peaceful and blessed
    and progressively FREE, from pain and discomfort

    GIVE UP! selfish wonting
    and you then LEAVE-SPACE for
    His Loving Grace and abundant blessings


    dave
     
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  4. sk8Joyful

    sk8Joyful Well-Known Member

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    Hi there again,

    You know how when children are little, how you were all starry-eyed ;) on Christmas.

    Well on most days, I prefer waking up with literally :angel: CHRISTmas~in~my~heart

    Maybe you think that's crazy? - but I LOVE it.
    I relish the thought of each new day, and what I can yet learn & enjoy... :thumbsup:

    We homeschooled, and one day my daughter wrote this short poem:
    "In a stable, on a hill,
    every animal is still...
    Watching a baby :angel: boy, who looks back and claps :clap: for joy...
    In a stable, on a hill
    "

    Ever thought of starting your days off like this too? - Try it Brother, & Capture this feeling :thumbsup: all over again.
     
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  5. 357magnum

    357magnum AKA: Tom - Saved By Grace

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    Christmas is a happy time for my family, mainly because most have time off and we can get together. Jesus Christ is Lord over all days, so we celebrate in that regard every day. Every day is a day of thanks and worship.
     
  6. joyshirley

    joyshirley where unicorns dream

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    It's a happy time for us. My children are adults now and two still live with us. Their partners come over and our other two come with their partners and we all have lunch together. Then they all head out to visit their partners' families and we have some quiet time. It's very different to when the children were small, but no less enjoyable and precious a day to me.

    Extended family have never really spent Christmas with us, mainly cos of travel issues. As a result, we settled into our own traditions on Christmas Day and the kids still look for those same traditions after all these years - things like trifle being a must-have dessert.

    I guess I would just say to focus in on the ones you have around you and set out to make the day so special for them that they will remember it forever. God sees your pain over diminishing family. Bless you.
     
  7. pappastratos

    pappastratos Newbie

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    """""I guess I would just say to focus in on the ones you have around you and set out to make the day so special for them that they will remember it forever. God sees your pain over diminishing family. Bless you"""""""

    I appreciate that, over the past few years Christmas has become more of a hassle than fun. I try to fake it & make the best of it, but some years I am glad to see December 26th.
    It is my loss. I guess I see my wife work herself silly, cooking, decorating, she even decorates the bathroom, & some years no one comes to see her decorations.
     
  8. joyshirley

    joyshirley where unicorns dream

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    Our son's birthday is the 26th. :D He was due Christmas Day and chose to wait till the following day. So it's like a double celebration for us. We always go off somewhere for the day on his birthday - all of us plus the kids' partners. His idea - and we've had some lovely day trips in recent years.

    Perhaps you and your wife could try something totally different this year? Perhaps invite a couple of folk over for dinner, or skip the cooking dinner thing altogether and go off out for a lovely meal somewhere instead. Speaking from my own perspective, it's always good when folk comment on one's work in the home, but it's one's husband's positive comments that mean the most. :)
     
  9. angelwind

    angelwind Soli Deo Gloria Supporter

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    Just for starters....[​IMG]
     
  10. pappastratos

    pappastratos Newbie

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    ""Speaking from my own perspective, it's always good when folk comment on one's work in the home, but it's one's husband's positive comments that mean the most""

    Sure, I am very complimentary of her decorations ! I put up a big tree, help her decorate, I decorate outside, maybe complain about it a little, but I do it ! Our family is so scattered, things have changed so much from Christmases past. I am very fortunate to still have my parents, but when they are gone, all we will have is memories. My children live in different states & have their own lives.
     
  11. joyshirley

    joyshirley where unicorns dream

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    I hope I didn't offend you at all, pappastratos. I didn't mean to. I think it's awesome that you help out in decorating and stuff. :thumbsup: I guess for me, I'm always aware that these times with our children could come to a stuttering stop if they, too, choose to move away from where we live. I try to get to grips with that thought, specially as one daughter has often said that she'd like to go overseas at some point, perhaps for an extended time. Is there any chance of organising a big get-together with all your children? If not, well, I hope that you and your wife can have a beautiful day together, anyway. :)
     
  12. servant of Merciful Love

    servant of Merciful Love CF Teams Manager Supporter CF Ambassador Angels Team

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    Christmas is a blessed time for us ~ we keep the 'reason for the season' a priority :)

    Now we only gift the grandkids...as the adults have everything they need.
    Except for our Parents...though we have only my MIL left, and she is in an Alzheimer unit :(
    But she enjoys our visit and whatever goodies we bring to her.

    Because we have had our share of losses, and families DO have their quirks...we have moments of sadness and stress...it is natural.

    We miss those loved ones who have passed on, and with our growing families on both sides, it is very hard to get all siblings together.

    But we at least call if we can't visit them.... and remember loved ones who are gone when we say grace and toast the meal.

    For the most part, it is a happy occasion :angel:
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2011
  13. pappastratos

    pappastratos Newbie

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    """Because we have had our share of losses, and families DO have their quirks...we have moments of sadness and stress...it is natural.

    We miss those loved ones who have passed on, and with our growing families on both sides, it is very hard to get all siblings together""""


    You said it best.
     
  14. davedajobauk

    davedajobauk Legend _ dum spiro, spero Supporter

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    Agreed...Amen!!!

    The reason is Jesus...
    The FIRST REASON for the holiday and celebrations

    No reason, can be greater, than celebrating the birth of Jesus [?]

    I have left six children in Bristol_ to be here, in Manchester
    with My Mary, to whom, I feel, I was LED to meet [online]
    I was certainly not looking for a life-partner, at the time we met

    I was a knight in shining armour
    coming [then] to the rescue of a [total-stranger] damsel in PC distress
    She, was the appreciative and grateful recipient
    of many hours of PC tuition and 'helpul directions'

    Later, we learned, that we both, had 'problems', that 'the other'
    was able to tolerate, ameliorate and overcome

    I have been back to Bristol for short visits
    and met up with three of my children while there
    I returned to Manchester, really happy to have seen them and their families

    I have learned, that one of my lads has rosacea in his eyes
    and could lose his sight

    Although I would like to have seen the other 3
    I am not 'upset' that I did not see him and two of his brothers
    ~I have placed them into His hands

    The human 'me', is powerless to affect changes in their lives.
    But God can!!! :prayer:


    dave
     
  15. pappastratos

    pappastratos Newbie

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    Dave, your family sounds scattered like mine. I hope the one with rosacesa will be fine.
     
  16. angelwind

    angelwind Soli Deo Gloria Supporter

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    Me too Dave...how precious to us is our eye sight...:thumbsup:
     
  17. davedajobauk

    davedajobauk Legend _ dum spiro, spero Supporter

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    What God gives, He can also take-away

    God can give sight to the blind

    It is by His grace, that the blind-hearted also, come to see His Light [?]

    As for Paul's sight [?]
    I :pray: that God gives him strength to walk his path
    and that such trials will light Paul's path
    to bring his walk ever-nearer to Him...
    and, that my faith will comfort me throughout Paul's affliction
    "There, but for the grace of God, go I"
    Amen

    As for my family, they too are where, they want/ need to be

    Near or far, they will always be in my heart

    Even those estranged from me, by life's circumstances, are loved by me
    iow: it isn't their fault, that the rift between their parents
    has asked for their loyalty to be challenged
    They made their choice , according to events they weren't fully appraised of
    and, with their limited-knowledge made choices
    that they then,believed, were 'just'

    God Bless them all
    Amen

    dave
     
  18. angelwind

    angelwind Soli Deo Gloria Supporter

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    In my early years as a believer the Lord gave me several unexpected healings...these past few years have been different...I am learning to trust Him more in very vulnerable places, pray for a variety of helps from Him, and I also still ask for healings if my heart really wants them. Physical healing is not my main course anymore, it is not off my plate, but I have found other things very interesting and satisfying...word by word, line by line teaching and reformed theology fascinate me as well as church history. Getting safely home in His strength and power are very important to me now.

    I find that my own suffering gives me a more tender heart towards those who also suffer. :angel:
     
  19. davedajobauk

    davedajobauk Legend _ dum spiro, spero Supporter

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    Amen!
     
  20. kaykay9.0

    kaykay9.0 Guest

    I always loved Christmas and I still do, but since our son died 10 years ago, there is a bittersweetness to it. Now all our parents are gone as well. I wish things didn't change, at least not the relationships, but as we move through life, they do. It is what it is. I totally hear where you are coming from, Pappastratos, though. I feel the bittersweetness too and the pain of happier holidays in the past. I try to just make the most of the blessings I have remaining such as a wonderful husband and good friends.
     
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