Can you live without sex?

[dayhiker]

yup, that's what I read when I read exit's post.

 

[blackribbon]

For most dramatic posting....

 

[exitstageright]

For most dramatic posting....

Thank you! I truly accept this award with great enthusiasm!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

So.....what if you meant someone that you considered "this could be the ONE!" but she would not have sex with you outside of marriage. What would you do? Consider carefully that you REALLY like this gal, and you are REALLY attracted to her in every conceivable way. Then what?

 

[exitstageright]

So.....what if you meant someone that you considered "this could be the ONE!" but she would not have sex with you outside of marriage. What would you do? Consider carefully that you REALLY like this gal, and you are REALLY attracted to her in every conceivable way. Then what?

I would be willing to wait until we got married. My second wife and I did not have sex until our wedding night,as it should be.

The problem we (my second wife and I ) had was when we would go a vacatio,such as a trip to Maui.with an ocean front 2,000 sq foot suite,she would not be in a romantic mood,and I was in a great romantic mood,because I was away from the routine,the high stress job,the city traffic,the freeway traffic,the air pollution,the egotistical doctors,the demanding nurses,and the noise.

She told me that she only wanted to be romantic at home. She told me that having sex ,in a hotel,made her feel like a prostitute.

I could understand that thought if we were in some flea bag hotel downtown. But we were at a very nice resort,on the beautiful beaches of Maui! Now,many women would give their eye tooth to be at a resort such as that one in Maui. Many women have told me this,that they just love romantic get-a-ways to a tropical island.But these women,who have told me that,are already married.

Before we got married,she said that she loved to travel,just like me.
After we got married,everytime that we would pack for a vacation,I would be in a great mood. She would be depressed. The best part of the trip,to her,was the flight back home.

 

[blackribbon]

I would be willing to wait until we got married. My second wife and I did not have sex until our wedding night,as it should be.

The problem we (my second wife and I ) had was when we would go a vacatio,such as a trip to Maui.with an ocean front 2,000 sq foot suite,she would not be in a romantic mood,and I was in a great romantic mood,because I was away from the routine,the high stress job,the city traffic,the freeway traffic,the air pollution,the egotistical doctors,the demanding nurses,and the noise.

She told me that she only wanted to be romantic at home. She told me that having sex ,in a hotel,made her feel like a prostitute.

I could understand that thought if we were in some flea bag hotel downtown. But we were at a very nice resort,on the beautiful beaches of Maui! Now,many women would give their eye tooth to be at a resort such as that one in Maui. Many women have told me this,that they just love romantic get-a-ways to a tropical island.But these women,who have told me that,are already married.

Before we got married,she said that she loved to travel,just like me.
After we got married,everytime that we would pack for a vacation,I would be in a great mood. She would be depressed. The best part of the trip,to her,was the flight back home.

Exit,

Your second wife is to be pitied. She missed out on a lot by having a warped view of what sex should be. I think the American church teaches young women that sex is 'dirty' instead of something God designed and special to be saved for marriage. And then society twists it even more. The presence of inappropriate contentography and prostitution also help warp healthy girl's minds. We start to see girls who participate in sex as being 'dirty' because of this. Sex is something that should bring married couples together and become "one" in a very intimate way. But separating what is supposed to be good from what we have viewed as "bad" is very difficult for many women. Throw in a man who is driven by his lust, so that he acts in an entirely selfish manner...and you have some really screwed up women and their views on sex. Because somewhere in your wife's life, she was damaged with this belief, you also were damaged and so was your marriage. I'm sorry.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Exit,

Your second wife is to be pitied. She missed out on a lot by having a warped view of what sex should be. I think the American church teaches young women that sex is 'dirty' instead of something God designed and special to be saved for marriage. And then society twists it even more. The presence of inappropriate contentography and prostitution also help warp healthy girl's minds. We start to see girls who participate in sex as being 'dirty' because of this. Sex is something that should bring married couples together and become "one" in a very intimate way. But separating what is supposed to be good from what we have viewed as "bad" is very difficult for many women. Throw in a man who is driven by his lust, so that he acts in an entirely selfish manner...and you have some really screwed up women and their views on sex. Because somewhere in your wife's life, she was damaged with this belief, you also were damaged and so was your marriage. I'm sorry.

BBM All too common in alot of men these days. Women are selfish too, just usually in other ways (equally as bad IMO) but for me, it's hard to be romantic, if the guy is just concerned about himself.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

And exit, I am really surprised by your comment that you would wait. Not sure I totally believe you, especially because of your past relationships, but if it's true your not as bad as I thought. Still being that you "may" have been with "alot" of women THAT would be an issue for me, just sayin'

 

[Life2Christ]

Exit,

Your second wife is to be pitied. She missed out on a lot by having a warped view of what sex should be.The presence of inappropriate contentography and prostitution also help warp healthy girl's minds.

Not to hijack this thread but this is so true. It is everywhere. Everywhere people are reading "50 shades of grey", the new hot book and girls are watching inappropriate content in larger numbers. It twists the BEAUTY of God-created sex into something perverted. This is the devil's domain.

 

[exitstageright]

Exit,

Your second wife is to be pitied. She missed out on a lot by having a warped view of what sex should be. I think the American church teaches young women that sex is 'dirty' instead of something God designed and special to be saved for marriage. And then society twists it even more. The presence of inappropriate contentography and prostitution also help warp healthy girl's minds. We start to see girls who participate in sex as being 'dirty' because of this. Sex is something that should bring married couples together and become "one" in a very intimate way. But separating what is supposed to be good from what we have viewed as "bad" is very difficult for many women. Throw in a man who is driven by his lust, so that he acts in an entirely selfish manner...and you have some really screwed up women and their views on sex. Because somewhere in your wife's life, she was damaged with this belief, you also were damaged and so was your marriage. I'm sorry.

I thank you very much for your concern and for your understanding.

 

[exitstageright]

And exit, I am really surprised by your comment that you would wait. Not sure I totally believe you, especially because of your past relationships, but if it's true your not as bad as I thought. Still being that you "may" have been with "alot" of women THAT would be an issue for me, just sayin'

Well..it is easier for me to wait.....now! Remember,I am 58 years old now,and not 18. I did not wait for my first wife.I was a lot younger when I got married for the first time.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

The point I was trying to make,as you and Blackribbon has stated,I only hear women say that they can live without sex. I never heard a man say that he can live without sex.. That is the difference,in general,between a man and a woman.

I have, I do, and I will continue to live without sex. Sex doesn't define who we are. A person can live a full life without it.

 

[exitstageright]

I have, I do, and I will continue to live without sex. Sex doesn't define who we are. A person can live a full life without it.

I person can live a full life without sex,but it may not be as enjoyable to some people. The best analogy that I can think of right now is. Enjoying life is like eating fried chicken.Not having sex is like not eating the skin of the chicken,which is the best tasting part of the chicken.

By the way,1970 was a good year for the Dallas Cowboys. That year,the Cowboys beat my 49ers 17-10 at old Keazar Stadium in San Francisco. I was a junior in High School then,playing junior varsity and varsity football.

 

[blackribbon]

I thought this was interesting (someone posted it on a parenting website I belong) and it seemed like it kind of went with this thread.

Should Christian women wear bikinis? - YouTube


This info is based on a scientific study...(as Exit likes..."the facts")...and maybe in a way, this speaker is saying that a man "needs" sex...but if you extend this study, then that kind of sex has nothing to do with having a relationship but rather it is seeing sex as a bodily function like using the bathroom. However, this is NOT the sex that God intends us to have....and if you get in the habit of perceiving sex (and women) like tools (or without the human aspect), then I suspect it will handicap you from experience the whole experience within a married situation. The mind will revert back to "checking out" and the woman will walk away from the sex feeling disconnected and used instead of feeling bonded.

Luckily, God created us with a brain that does know how to distinguish between needs and wants...and just like a starving man can choose to not steal food because he knows that he shouldn't take what does not belong to him, a non sexual active man (or woman) can choose to control himself and not take sex from women whom do not belong to him.

 

[exitstageright]

I thought this was interesting (someone posted it on a parenting website I belong) and it seemed like it kind of went with this thread.

Should Christian women wear bikinis? - YouTube


This info is based on a scientific study...(as Exit likes..."the facts")...and maybe in a way, this speaker is saying that a man "needs" sex...but if you extend this study, then that kind of sex has nothing to do with having a relationship but rather it is seeing sex as a bodily function like using the bathroom. However, this is NOT the sex that God intends us to have....and if you get in the habit of perceiving sex (and women) like tools (or without the human aspect), then I suspect it will handicap you from experience the whole experience within a married situation. The mind will revert back to "checking out" and the woman will walk away from the sex feeling disconnected and used instead of feeling bonded.

Luckily, God created us with a brain that does know how to distinguish between needs and wants...and just like a starving man can choose to not steal food because he knows that he shouldn't take what does not belong to him, a non sexual active man (or woman) can choose to control himself and not take sex from women whom do not belong to him.

I am convinced that these are true facts. It kind of reminds me like that line in "The Godfather","Hey.....it is nothing personal....It's just business."
Yes a lot of us men have that attitude.

When I was a lot younger,I wanted to find a nice christain young lady to love as a person. But,I never found that person.They would tell me,"S.... you are a nice man. You would make a good husband,and a great father,but I have no feelings for you." I was being used by some of these guys girls.
So....I decided to do some using of my own.
Therefore,when it came to hookers,it was nothing personal. It was .......just business.
In other words,if a nice young christain young lady would have accepted me,there would have been no need or no time for me to be with a hooker. That was the only way in which I could get a woman to touch me.

Because,the nice,good,and decent women were surely not touching me for free.

Later on in life,I did find some women who would touch me for free.

By the way,Blackribbon,did you get that part,when a man is aroused,the reasoning part of his brain is turned off?This explains why some smart men,when it comes to dealing with women,do some dumb things. When I was younger,I truely could identify with part of this song by Curtis Mayfeild,"Little Child,Running Wild" from the soundtrack of the "Super Fly" movie. Here is that part of the song:

Kind of sad
Kind of mad
Ghetto Child
Thinking He's been had

I got a jones
running through my bones
I'm sorry son
but all your money's gone

painful rip
in my upper hip
I guess it's time
to take another trip

Don't care now what nobody say
I got to take the pain away
it's getting worser day by day
and all my life it's been this way








































































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[dayhiker]

I'd seen that youtube viseo before. I think the guy misrepresents the study.

The men were shown pictures of bikini clad women with their head cropped off. Its thru the face that a person recognizes a person, sees who they are and can express emotions back to them. These were pictuers 1st of all, and secondly they were pictures of just bodies, no faces. Yes, I react very quickly to women's bodies. I read a Christian book 5 yrs ago. The woman interviewed some of the nationally known Christian men. With out exception when I pretty woman was around them they were conscious of her presence in the room/store/etc till they or she left where they could keep track of her.

The best I can till that is part of the way God made men. Personally, I'm not going to be/feel guilty of the way God made me.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

I person can live a full life without sex,but it may not be as enjoyable to some people. The best analogy that I can think of right now is. Enjoying life is like eating fried chicken.Not having sex is like not eating the skin of the chicken,which is the best tasting part of the chicken.

By the way,1970 was a good year for the Dallas Cowboys. That year,the Cowboys beat my 49ers 17-10 at old Keazar Stadium in San Francisco. I was a junior in High School then,playing junior varsity and varsity football.

I've heard so many stories about the old Kezar Stadium from the cinder field to the locker rooms to the seagulls. The 49ers had a real home field advantage there. Now they are going to be leaving Candlestick Park. And it will always be Candlestick to me no matter what name it has. But what goes around comes around. That loss on January 10, 1982 was the most devastating loss I have ever been through. I'm not sure the franchise ever got over it until 1993.

I think if someone either doesn't want sex or they know why they aren't doing it they really don't have a problem with it not being a part of their life. I think more about the spiritual side of things than the physical side. I figure if I had hooked up some women back then it wouldn't have worked out for me or her. She probably would have gotten pregnant or something else bad. I figure it was God's way of protecting me. Since then I realized what my vocation is and I've grown closer to God for it. With God we are never denied anything and the intimacy with God that we gain more than makes up for any intimacy that we don't have with a person.

 

[exitstageright]

I'd seen that youtube viseo before. I think the guy misrepresents the study.

The men were shown pictures of bikini clad women with their head cropped off. Its thru the face that a person recognizes a person, sees who they are and can express emotions back to them. These were pictuers 1st of all, and secondly they were pictures of just bodies, no faces. Yes, I react very quickly to women's bodies. I read a Christian book 5 yrs ago. The woman interviewed some of the nationally known Christian men. With out exception when I pretty woman was around them they were conscious of her presence in the room/store/etc till they or she left where they could keep track of her.

The best I can till that is part of the way God made men. Personally, I'm not going to be/feel guilty of the way God made me.

Hear! Hear! Just tell it like it is!

For me,looking at the very shapely figure of a woman's bikini clad body,is no different than me looking at the very beautiful,clear,inticing,pristine,and turquoise waters of the East Carribean,Hawaii,and the Tahitian island of Bora Bora.

In other words,I am just appreciating,and enjoying one of God's creations.

 

[gods prophetess]

ive been living without sex and ive been divorced for way over two years im fine without sex but a sexless marriage is never any good cause god designed it that way for married couples to have sex

 

[blackribbon]

By the way,Blackribbon,did you get that part,when a man is aroused,the reasoning part of his brain is turned off?This explains why some smart men,when it comes to dealing with women,do some dumb things.

I became aware of this at a fairly young age...when guys were aroused even through "making out", there was a 'look' in their eyes that make it pretty clear that the brain disengaged. (I think men learn how to hide this a bit better as they get older). Anyway, I could have used this for "evil" but instead chose to use it more as a gauge for how to be kind. I can tell you certain places on a man's head that a woman should never kiss unless she is married to him. (LOL)

However, a man should also learn this and protect himself from getting to the point where his brain disengages unless he is married....not unlike we all learn that fire is hot and shouldn't be played with.