- Dec 4, 2019
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I am here again with another concerned post about what occurred with the Yellow Cross in the shower that followed me to the door and I bowed Satan was in the Yellow Cross. I didn't know it was Satan could God have allowed a supernatural temptation beyond my ability to occur in the shower and on the door it was to powerful for me. Did Jesus forsake me in the shower and on the door he left me with no way of escaping the visual hallucination on the shower wall and door could it have been 666 and turned me into the Beast of the Earth. I don't understand how I blasphemed the Holy Spirit following what Jesus said I have read the passages numerous times and I can't make sense of it I didn't speak against the Holy Spirit or did any of things the pharisees did I didn't compare Jesus works to Satan because I was not their to even witness the miracles the Yellow Cross said it was 666 and placed the Mark of the Beast on me but even that doesn't make bible sense Jesus has no warning about a Yellow Cross in the bible. I had no way of planning for what occurred to me in the Shower even with my advanced bible knowledge that was able to win a memory verse quiz from Awana a program that spreads the gospel of Jesus Christ that I love so much it brings me so much happiness. The Yellow Cross is destroying my joy making me think I lost my salvation and that I am the false prophet. I love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit so much and I never want to blaspheme them and I love Israel and God's people and I want to be like David a man after God's own heart now I fear I am like King Saul falling for a demonic spirit that 2 Timothy warns about if I blasphemed the the Hallucination of the Yellow Cross can I be forgiven my Pastor Mark seems to think so since it was mental illness that led to me falling for the trick and not my own actions. I just want to be raptured so bad and I don't want to go against Jesus and have him slay me it would break my heart if these words on my body are true and that somehow I got 666 from something out of my control can God forgive me. I love celebrating Jesus birthday this Christmas and I should be joyous but Satan says he is in my heart and brain but I love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit my friends, family, and church know how much I love God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and how I would never try to blaspheme the Holy Spirit if I blasphemed the Holy Spirit in the Yellow cross and if this blue light in my brain is true and words on my skin can I be forgiven. I am so fearful and anxious these days as I am worried that I lost my name from the book of life for a visual hallucination on the wall that Satan claims he was and he was testing me but it was a temptation that overpowered me since it was done in form of a hallucination where I could not even speak clearly to it since it entrapped my brain and Satan claims he 4d chessed my mind into blasphemy of the Holy Spirit but it wasn't my intention my intention is to love God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and I want to be able to celebrate this Christmas season and I thought John 10:27-31 that My sheep hear my voice and that nothing can snatch them out of my hand was correct and I know the thief comes to steal kill and destroy but Jesus came so we can have life and have it more abundantly and I want to live abundant life in Jesus and be raptured and spend my forever with Jesus but this blue light in my brain that says Beast of the Earth and writing and my skin and forehead and stomach tell me otherwise but my Pastor Nathan and Pastor Mark and everyone who knows me still sees the Holy Spirit in me but I am so concerned that this Beast of the Earth stuff is real and I know that it could be very possible that this is all psychosis and Schizophrenia, Pediatric Auto Immune Disorder, Autism, Ocd Scrupulosity playing apart as a visual hallucation is a nightmare like state so it is very possible my brain reverted to my worst fear which is 666 and that I am not the Beast of the Earth and that these words and lights and everything around me is fake and the Holy Spirit could still be in heart despite these words and stuff that I see on my forehead it could all be medical as Jesus doesn't lose any believers and he is the Good Shepard and if he lost me would he be the Good Shepard if he allowed Satan to devour me in something that I could not control and I just need to trust that Jesus would not allow Satan to place the Mark of the Beast on me I saw a Yellow Cross and then I saw a blue light that said that I Blasphemed the Holy Spirit and that I was Satan's and all these words appeared after repenting from the Yellow Cross asking for forgiveness from Jesus and weeping I became sleep deprived for five days and I blue light appeared and I read Galatians and I read my verse cards but Yellow Crosses where everywhere and then it a red light shocked saying Mark of the Beast incoming but I love Jesus which tells me this isn't real and I just need to trust I ended up in the physch hospital and hallucinated Revelation in the Hospital Satan says that I am the Antichrist and now he tells me that I am his false prophet for blasphemy of the Holy Spirit but I wasn't even trying to blaspheme the Holy Spirit it was a Yellow Cross that I had no control over and it bothers me greatly that I fell and hurt the Holy Spirit mixing him up with Satan on accident mixing up the Holy Spirit and Satan isn't blasphemy of the Holy Spirit or is it if the Yellow Cross really was Satan in it and I fell for it and bowed that isn't blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and I also saw red crosses in the Church Satan says that I mocked the Cross of Jesus but I would never do that in my right mind and I am so worried anxious and fearful that this is real that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit and that I am destined for hell for something out of my control why would a loving God allow me to suffer a supernatural temptation that contained 666 and why would he allow the Yellow Cross to appear when he knew that I would fall to the Yellow Cross and I know John Bunyan had a similar experience with the Lake of Fire and he wrote the book about the unpardonable sin and he suffered for three years and right now I am really suffering my friend told me that I am one of the godliest person that he knew and that he was shocked when I told him what happened is mixing up Satan and the Holy Spirit on a trick blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I am so discouraged that I blasphemed and that is why I keep writing and posting and hoping that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit can forgive me I listen to pastors and go to Church still and I don't like this Beast of the Earth stuff when I close my eyes and the blue light that says 666 and I see all this Satanic Stuff everywhere and it worries me that it is real. Could I have got the Mark of the Beast from the Yellow Cross and is it real? My mind can't wrap around how I blasphemed the Holy Spirit in a visual hallucination of the Yellow Cross in was a yellow flickering light that was talking mom says yellow crosses don't talk and I try to focus on the real cross but I am so worried that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit is mixing up Satan and the Holy Spirit blasphemy of the Holy Spirit I just want to enjoy the Christmas Eve service tonight and tomorrow and want God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and I am so scared that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit and I see writing on my skin, forehead, and stomach, it scares me so much and when I close my eyes it says Beast of the Earth. I love Jesus so much and it concerns me that this Beast of the Earth is real and that it was something that I had no control over. I am really concerned that I won't be raptured now and that this Beast of the Earth stuff is real. I just want to relax and trust God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and be able to watch fun innocent stuff like Spongebob, Waltons, Mary Tyler Moore, Leave it to Beaver, Andy Griffith. Could this Beast of the Earth be real when I close my eyes and the words on my skin, forehead, and stomach. Is Pastor Nathan right that my eternity is secured because I asked Jesus in my heart when I was four years old and I have followed him for twenty years my mom tells me not to worry and that it is just a hallucination and to trust that Jesus doesn't lose anybody the Sun looks different and glows differently now and makes me worried that this Beast of the Earth stuff is real and that the words on my skin, forehead, and stomach. I love Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit and would never blaspheme them on purpose is it possible the words on my skin, forehead, and stomach is a hallucination and that I was still be raptured and the words that say Beast of the Earth when I close my eyes isn't real the Physch doctor seems to think the Yellow Cross and blue lights in my brain and on the floor will go away and that is just Schizophrenia, OCD Scrupulosity, Pandas, Autism. I am just so worried that this real and not a hallucination it concerns me so much it feels so real when I stuff on my skin,forehead, stomach. I am so worried right now that this is real and not a hallucination and that my name is removed from the Book of Life for the Yellow Cross and that concerns me so much and worries me to no end could it be real could my name be written in book of death for a hallucination can you lose your salvation on a trick from Satan and could God remove my name from the Book of Life on a hallucination of the Yellow Cross could it have been the real Mark of the Beast and now I am a false prophet or is it a hallucination that isn't real. I am so concerned right now that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit it makes me so worried and no one can seem to convince me with these words on my skin, forehead, stomach. Please help me feel better that this is not real does God remove people from the Book of Life? I will try to trust Jesus that he will never leave or forsake me and that the Yellow Cross was not real if it was real I will trust that he can forgive me of the Yellow Cross. I hope that this post makes sense and hopefully the physch doctor can figure out the blue light in my brain that says Beast of the Earth and this writing on my skin, forehead, and stomach. Pastor Nathan says he saw the Fruit of the Holy Spirit in me and I am trying to trust that in this difficult season of life. I know that I have predisposition to mental illness it just concerns me that this real that this is not a hallucination. Please help me know that this is fake and not real.
