Back to Church

[ERice2nd]

Hey there everyone

Well, I started going back to church again, I finally found the courage to go and face the people of God once more. I credit that partly to my new medicine, Geodon. My mind is more clear now then it has ever been and only tonight after reading goldenviolet's thread again do I see that going to church was a good idea.

I think with the meds helping my physical mind stay balanced and God's loving grace pouring into my soul anew again has really made a difference. I have learned that fellowship with other people of God is needed, although I am painfully shy, I do get along well with the pastor most times though and he was happy to see me there. I will continue to go.

It wasnt a totally nice experience at church last sunday though, I felt nauseated and then I aquired a terrible headache, mainly due to intense anxiety because I was sitting up front. I think this sunday I will sit towards the back, that way there are no strangers behind me.

I dont know, I just felt like sharing tonight , so I did . nothing can make you feel whole quite like God can .

I hope I dont get into the mindset that I dont belong there or dont fit in. Thats often the case, I start to feel that no one wants me around and I get scared that everyone is hating me, so I stop going and often stay away for very long periods of time. its that silly isolation thing. thats what my counsellor is most concerned about with me. but I am working on it and God willing, my mind will stay clear for a very long time .

 

[goldenviolet]

praise the Lord for you dear brother!

 

[Jeshu]

That is great!!!

I haven't dared make this decisions yet, last time I went was when my daughter got married, that went good.

I fear Church like no other place, the evil voice always become worst there for they hate God's people and try and screw the service up all the time. All I do is cry and rage - it is horrible!


However I'm working on returning as well.

Maybe one Day Soon!

 

[M-Ber]

Thats awesome! I quit going to church for several years and when I started looking for a new church home it took me several trys to find a church home. When I walked in and was greeted by everyone I saw and then sat in on an amazing sermon I just felt like I was at home. My life has felt so much more fufilled since I have started going to church again and it has inspired me to have a new kind of relationship with God...an even deeper one. I love it!

 

[lotuseskimo]

Yep, I get the isolation feeling to, but I did find that I had to good ole find a church that I wanted to go to. My larger problem was being so tough and judgemental about whichever church, but yet I know I was right in such things, one church was so rich, but they bought large screen tvs for their service, they bought a gormeut coffee kiosk for their services, then, when the recesion hit, they had to get rid of the crap! Ugh this church makes me sick, they needed to find a productive way to give that all that money away, they would have had great returns, instead of returning their knick knaks..
I was still in the wrong doing this though, so I went to them and tried to explain what I thought and they should change, no-one listened, and the one who did said that the elders would be my whatever to overcome. Having schizophrenia, I went again, and had awful dellusions. I went again, and realized the sermons were wonderful, they were really good in this church! So my judgment melted away, and I just stayed away because they gave me dellusions.

We moved, and I realized that I needed a church, but to be involved, to sweep, and to clean, to participate in the activities, go to the meetings, and read the Bible. I found a church in the area, that was appealing. And when I found things that I didn't like, I decided to find a trust in the church first, make sure I was not judging and plan to say something later. My fiance said this may be a problem within churches, in that the people who can help, leave, and should have stayed, and changed the church, many churches are just awful! But the people who came and went are more responsible for not having said something. And to put it more, in the wrong for not changing it.

 

[blade_302]

yeah im pretty much isolated at the moment.suffering on and off from schizophrenia for the past 4 years.startes out as psychosis but ended up with paranoid schizophrenia.im realising the lifestyle i was leading was wrong even though i was self safisfied there was something worrysome and missing in me.i began drinking heavily at 14 and taking ecstacy at 15.i was also big into heavy metal but i was still a good guy even though iv had friends who were big into satanism.a girlfriend who was so alternative religious dare i speak of it.family worries i just want all this fixed.i do somewhat feel out of place or like a bad person when im at church.i feel like a scare children or something when i dont mean to.it makes me feel worse.i got absoluted for alot of things iv done but i didnt feel it.i didnt let it through.im also annointed but i just feel like a poisoned spirit.i want to make my way back to being cured.stable.pure and mighty lol.im a force to be reckoned with.

 

[LoveAndMercy]

ERice2nd, it's very good to hear that you have gone back to church!

Don't worry about your shyness, God can change you if you are willing to allow him to do so. I was once very shy and isolated, painfully introverted, so that I wouldn't speak to people, but God, as He promised, has put a new spirit, His Holy Spirit, in me, with right desires! Now I am able to speak to anyone, say hello or tell them about the goodness of God and His Son Jesus Christ. They greet me back and are happy that I speak to them, and to love and speak with them is very pleasant. Just know that the devil and his demons are the ones who want you to feel hated and uncomfortable. God loves you, and if anyone in your church wrongs you, please forgive them, for that is the devil deceiving them.

I recently began attending church again, too, and I have found that the people there are not perfect but they love God and trust in Him. If we trust in God, he will not disappoint us. He will help us to understand what we don't understand, and he will comfort us! I love you, Jehovah!!! Thanks!!!